- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
Hi Bees, I’ve been lurking for a while, but haven’t really said anything or created an account unti today… I was happy just reading things. However, I’ve started feeling a little bummed about my wedding. My quick back story: Big sister and I got engaged on the same day (no fault of anyone’s and we’re not mad – why would we be?) and at first it was really awesome because she and I did a lot of our research together, but now I feel that since her wedding is first, a month before mine, everything has pretty much been about her. She’s been trying on dresses, meeting with florists, having us bridesmaids try on clothes, going to tastings, etc. My mom, younger sister, and her bridesmaids (including me) have been going with her, but every time I try to set up appointments everyone seems to be busy. I haven’t even gotten to try on a wedding dress. I’ve gone to talk to florists and caterers and what not, but I have gone alone. My fiance works for the military (not a service member, but on the civilian side and is basically “deployed” and will be back in 6 months) so I don’t really have anyone close except for family to do these things with. My sister keeps inviting me out to do stuff with her, but whenever I ask her she says she is just too busy with her wedding.
I know you don’t need anyone there, and I feel bratty wanting people there, but doing these things alone is a little lonely. I really want to share my excitement and this time with my family, just like my sister. When I try to talk to my mom about it she says “Well your sister is getting married first, there will be time closer to your wedding, don’t worry.” Ugh, I feel so bridezilla-y saying this but I guess I just excepted to be doing now what my sister was a month ago, but as her wedding gets closer (9 months, mine is 10 months) it just seems like there is more and more for her to do and less and less time for me. I don’t expect everyone to drop everything for my wedding, but I would like if they would make some time for me. I go to all these events for my sister, and she gets her bride moments with the family, and as guilty as I feel saying this, I want my bride moments with my family too, especially since my fiance is overseas. I try talking to my sister about stuff for my wedding, but our conversations always tend to travel to my sister’s wedding, but she promises we’ll have “my” time as well.
I’ve never been one to make choices myself and I can’t really even decide on colors, flowers, food without input from my fiance and my family. My fiance says do what makes me happy because as long as I’m there he won’t even notice anything else, but I would like some help making these calls. My parents are paying for the majority of the wedding (I am blessed, I know!) and I really don’t like spending their money without them. (They’ve said just do what I want and not worry, since this is once in a lifetime, but still…)
So here I am, typing all this just to say I feel left out, wah-wah-wah. I know I just need to suck it up and do my wedding and stop being a baby, but like I said, I just feel like I’m alone in this and needed a vent moment. Here I am, 10 months away from my wedding and I only have a venue booked. Ugh, I just needed to vent. Sorry for sounding bratty. Thanks for listening.