(Closed) Feeling Left Out (minor vent?)

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
663 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You don’t sound bratty at all. Doing everything on your own is hard. I’m doing the same thing myself. My mom is out of the picture, my sister is going through her own things and I don’t have any extremely close girlfriends that can help me a lot. I got so stressed out a couple of months ago I told my FI I didn’t want to get married anymore and gave him my ering back (which proved to be an extremely awkward 5 days considering we live together :-/). The only advice I can give you is to try to talk things out with someone, anyone. Just posting here is a great start. Venting helps so much because if you keep it in you’ll explode LOL Then just take a breath, step back for just a little bit and then when you’re ready pick back up where you were. When all is said and done you’ll be married to the man of your dreams and that’s all that really matters anyway, right?? Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
2877 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

 

that sucks =( its possible that in the next month she’ll have made her major decisions (venue, venue flower etc)  and then as your mum says, theyll have more time for you

In the meantime, do you have a friend you can bounce ideas off? i know its stressful, im planning my wedding alone too. Theres a language barrier between my inlaws and i, and my family are in another country and frankly not that interested =S

so i know how it is to do it alone and be a bit lost – i also have NO idea how to choose colours etc. Pinterest helps though!

pm me if you want someone to bounce ideas off =P

Post # 5
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

“My sister keeps inviting me out to do stuff with her, but whenever I ask her she says she is just too busy with her wedding.”  Dude, that’s being a really bad sister on her part.  She can at least play the doting sister to you.

If it makes you feel any better, I went dress shopping by myself – and looooved it.  I didn’t want to be swayed by anybody else and I actually am not a huge fan of shopping with other people to begin with. That said, Wedding Bee is for bees exactly like us so you’re in a great place!  Just start posting away and we’ll be your ‘sisters’.  🙂

Post # 6
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I feel you! I live 400 miles away from my family & friends and 100 from my fiance. My wedding isn’t until Oct 2013, but I’ve done so much on my own and at times it is depressing… I definitely want to share my happiness with everyone but it’s just hard when your so far away! And at first my mom made a huge deal with me wanting to have our wedding in 2013 because my sister’s grad party is a few months early. She doesn’t want my out of town family to have to “choose” between the two events because I got a grad party with everyone. But we can’t really put our lives on hold! In the end I’ll be marrying my man and that’s all that will matter! I’m sure it will work out!

Post # 7
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t think you sound bridezilla-y at all. I don’t think your sister is being fair to you at all. Just remember the bee may not be there with you at the time but you can always post questions or pictures of ideas and plenty of people will help provide tips and opinions. You won’t be alone completely but I feel your pain. ((Hugs))

Post # 8
Member
3645 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Firstly *hugs* 

Secondly, here is my advice: Everything that you have written is so open and heartfelt, nothing sounds bratty or selfish at all. Print this out and give it to your mother and sister. 

They will understand. Sometimes people don’t listen and understand when you are talking to them, particularly if you are nervous about the conversation and are trying to make it light. They might just dismiss it as unimportant. But in written form which 1) usually signals to people that it is an important issue and 2) allows them to read it in their own time and multiple times, it is easier to get people to listen and understand.

You are all adults and you need to let them know how you feel. It is not as if your wedding is a year after your sister’s, it is only 1 month! You need to be doing all the same things as her now too! You need dresses and invites etc etc. 

What you are asking for is not too much and I’m sure that they just don’t realise how you are feeling and that they haven’t done as much for your wedding. 

So, print this out and go give it to them. Now 🙂 

Please let us know how it goes and again, *hugs*.

Post # 10
Member
203 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Good luck. Definitely keep moving and get as much support as you can from FI. As far as your family, ask them what a good day would be for them this week and then use that to schedule your most pressing appointments then. And if worse comes to worse FI and I figured everything out on our own. It can be a challenge if you have a hard time making decisions, but also maybe it can be something you really take pride in after the fact.

Post # 11
Member
3645 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@SakuraBlossomBee:  I’d really like to try and give you some more courage to tell them how you really feel, so here goes:

Let’s turn this situation around, if you were accidentally making your sister feel this way, wouldn’t you want to know so that you could fix it asap? As you said, she isn’t doing it on purpose so even if it does make her feel bad for a little while, that isn’t your aim, you aren’t meaning to make her feel bad, simply stop you feeling left out. 

Again, you haven’t said anything awful in your post. This will make you feel better and the process more fun. 

I really think that everyone will appreciate you being so up front and honest and I can only see it making everything better. Perhaps even add the part where you say that you know that she isn’t doing it to be horrible and that you need courage to show it to them do that they know without a doubt that you aren’t being awful (which you aren’t!) and that you were a bit nervous about telling them.

I think that this will bring you all closer.

Post # 12
Member
1284 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

HUGS!

I don’t think you’re being bridezilla-y at all.

Like others have said before, you have absolutely come to the right place to bounce ideas around. Feel free to use the boards! I think that might make you feel better.

That having been said, I also think your sister is being unfair to you.

Keep your chin up and be determined to enjoy this process regardless of how it turns out!

Post # 14
Member
3645 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@SakuraBlossomBee:  Yay! I’m glad that you are feeling better and plan to be open with your family. 

Please come back and let us know how it goes with your famly.

Dress appointment – exciting! 😀 

Post # 16
Member
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’m so sorry you are going through this. It sounds like she has some pent up frustration though you can hardly be blammed for getting engaged the same day! Hopefully after you talk to her in person things will get better. Maybe it will help if you two try to sit down and work out a schedule together so you both get time to get everything that you need to get done. Really sorry that things haven’t been going well so far and really hoping they get better for you! This seems like an incredibly unfair situation. Glad that you finace has some good news though, that’s something to look forward to!

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