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Well...it might be because your wedding is little far off. Mine is in June and no one has talked about any parties yet and my family and friends are totally excited about the wedding! Your shower and bachelorette take place within a few months of your wedding.
As for an engagement party, maybe no one knows to throw you one? Some people don't know if they're supposed to have one and who is supposed to throw it.
Re: your friends' bachelor/bachelorette parties -- IMO, they're usually guys/girls-only things (unless people have a joint one) So it makes sense that you are being invited to the bachelorette party and not the bachelor party.
Well I'm suprised that the other family is already making plans for bachelor/ette parties and bridal parties if the wedding is 9 months away. Seems a little too soon to be really talking about those things. So don't worry I'm sure your time will come for planning parties with your family/friends.
I'm sure your friends/family are just as excited for you as their's is. Also, it might be odd for you to attend the Bachelor party depending on what they are doing. I.e. Crazy night in a men's only club. I've been invited to the bachelorette parties when I've known only the groom. Think of it this way, you get a chance to know her better.
Oh - don't worry about that. We engaged in December, engagement party in June, first shower in September and one more coming up. You have plenty of time for many festivities!!!!
Totally with the other posters, it is REALLY early to be talking about showers and bachelorette parties! The only reason my parents threw us an engagement party was bc I pretty much badgered my mom into it and then of course, not to be outdone, FIL's decided a week after that they too wanted to throw us an e-party...So maybe your family just doesn't know? Other than that, I'm sure a bach party and shower will happen for you but my wedding's like, 4 months before yours and no one has talked to me about either of those things either!
oh Rabbit :/ some bees might not remember your earlier post about how your family doesn't want to help with stuff or contribute financially.
Do you have any good friends who you think might be able to throw you a shower? I know it's not at the height of etiquette, but if you have a close friend who lives nearby, you might consider confiding in her about how down and out you're feeling because of your family's recent attitude, and how you wish you could have the normal shower/bachelorette experience, but don't really have anyone to throw them for you. See about joint planning, and stress no gifts (this part makes it more polite, if you're concerned about that, haha).
I'm in the same boat..but with my parents giving all the attention to my brother and his FI. Not so fun...my parents planned a big engagement party for them (I've been engaged for a year..getting married in eight months, they're been engaged for five or six and getting married in a year!). I'm trying not to be jealous...but it's hard.
I would say ask one of your BMs if they're willing to host something, or even help you plan it. Throw yourself an engagement party (no gifts if you want). Especially if your parents aren't really in the picture (financially or otherwise, or even just far away), it's totally fine. I say go for it, you should get to celebrate this special time!
Maybe part of it is that my FI's family doesn't know about engagement parties AND we're still 10.5 months out from the wedding (holy so soon batman!). As for the bachelor/bachrlorette parties- knowing my friend as I do, I doubt its going to be strippers and all night drinkin' for his party, but it would be great to spend time getting to know his FI better. After 4 years of them dating I think I've only spent a few hours with her total.
@daydreamwanderer- I am in a situation where all my good friends save one live elsewhere (one is in India for a year teaching English, the other is in the deserts of Nevada, and the third lives in Canada). The one who lives here, one of my BMs, is so buried in school i'd feel bad bringing it up. Maybe once the new year rolls around and it hits everyone that I am getting married THIS YEAR (2010) that things will start happening. Right now everyone's all "its a year off, what'cha worring about stuff for?" I sometimes feel like everyone is on my FI's side- leave everything until the day before cause its all cool... ;P
I can empathize. My family and friends are all way far away and so I will not be having any of those 'things' - showers, bach parties, etc. Hugs. You may be surprised when you least expect it, though!
Hi Yes I agree, it is a bit early and you too will have your day!
I know I try not to compare with other brides to be but its hard not to!!
Just concentrate on what you and hubby to be want and don't get too sucked into anything!!!
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So, just months after my FI and I got engaged, one of my very best friends and his awesome girlfriend got engaged too. Yay! I saw this coming since the day they met. When he came home he GLOWED! So sweet! And while many people may not be happy about this, I am- he's getting married a mere month before me. We're wedding buddies! Love it! :)
Anyhow, I am feeling a bit left out of the fun. I see how their families are dealing with their engagement and I can't help comparing it to how our families are handling our engagement. They're having an engagement party in two weeks. There are already plans in the works for 2 bridal showers. Her MOH has already inquired to me about my ability to travel to where they live (2-3 hours away, depending on traffic) for the bachelorette party (shouldn't I be part of the bachelor party, since I am more his friend then hers? Or are girls not allowed at those things?). While I am super overjoyed for them (so happy for him!), I feel sad because not a single word has been mentioned in either my family or my FI's family about ANY parties. No engagement party, no bridal shower, no bachelorette party. And while I wouldn't have thought this would bother me...it does.