Post # 1
I’m 25 and I always thought I’d own a house by now, at least a condo. I have a degree and am smart with my money but now I’m preparing for grad school and am not going to be able to comfortably afford a house for a while. Because of my student loans and having only worked at my current job for three months I was denied a car loan! And I have strong credit! It’s just a tough market. A few of our married friends are buying houses and although I have no desire to set up a “homestead” and wouldn’t buy a house even if we could I feel left out of the excitement and the investment opportunity. I have guilt about going back to school, like if I just “settled down” we could have a house, kids ect. FI wants all that but he also said he’d support me through this and if this is what I will be happy doing, all the rest will come in good time.
I never foresaw these feelings come when I decided on grad school. I feel like I am missing out on such a great time in your 20’s when you are just establishing yourself ect. I hope I’m not the only bee feeling this way.
Post # 3
Don’t feel bad about your decision to get more education. After you graduate, you might find out that you have to move somewhere else in order to use that brand new degree and you will be happy to not have a home slowing you down. Trust me. My husband and I had to move across the country last summer for his job and I hate that we have a rental home now. I worry about it all the time and just want to sell it and get rid of it.
The market is really tought right now and you don’t want to be getting into a home if you aren’t sure that you can afford it or that you will be staying there for at least a few years if not more.
Post # 4
I understand how you feel! I have two years left in my grad program (doctor of pharmacy) and sometimes I get a little frustrated because I feel like I’m perpetually stuck (i.e. can’t buy a house yet, have kids, etc). I know if the long run it’s a really good investment, but for now (and the next few years), my FI and I have to make choices that seem to revolve around my educations decisions. A lot of our friends are at the stage where they are buying the house and starting to have kids, but we just aren’t there – because of my school really. I’m hoping it gets better with time.
Post # 5
I can empathize with the house hunting part, I think! I don’t know if I really want to own a house right now, but lately a bunch of annoying things have been cropping up at our current apartment, which used to be really quiet and dead, but not as much with the warm weather lately.
It makes me kinda depressed because I just want to settle down in a quiet and safe neighborhood, but for the next couple years, at least, it will be school/finding a job before we settle down permanently. 🙁
Post # 6
I’m in grad school and I have a house. But I feel like I’m missing out too. I have a shitty car. In fact, it’s worse than most of the cars I see parked in the lot of the high school in my neighborhood. I have tons of student loans. I make next to nothing with my grad school stipend compared to people our age with real jobs. And I don’t really like what I do right now. Why am I doing all this again? Oh yeah, I need those three little letters behind my name to get the job I really want someday.
Post # 7
I toootally understand … FI and I are both in grad school, prob won’t graduate for another 2 or 3 years, and our friends are starting to establish their careers and buy houses and think about getting pregnant … ok so we definitely don’t want kids anytime soon, but a house would be fantastic! We definitely feel the yearning, and sometimes get bummed that we can’t do all that yet, but if we hadn’t gone to grad school, 1) we wouldn’t have met, and 2) I know that I would have continued to be dissatisfied in my career, and eventually my earning potential would have capped out without an advanced degree. Hang in there, and know that it’s normal to have those conflicted feelings!
Post # 8
Don’t feel bad. I think all of us are just trying to figure everything out in our 20s no matter what we are doing. I own a home and have a great job, but I can’t go back to school full time because of my house and good job!
The road of life is long and we all go at our own different paces. Don’t see it as a race. You have made the decision to go back to school which is big and awesome!
Post # 9
I think jaylii said it best. 🙂
There is nothing to feel bad about. You will have those moments when the two of your are ready. No need to rush this thing we call, life.
Post # 10
i hear you! I know there’s no rush, but I am in school and FI has a unstable job (it’s not his fault, it’s just the nature of his field) and there is no way we can even consider buying a house. Not to mention that we have no idea where we’ll be living when I’m finished school.
The rational part of my brain says, you’re only 25 — there’s plenty of time for house buying later. But the other part of my brain wants a house and is sad that my friends are all buying and I am not.
Post # 11
Honey – trust me – the grass always looks greener on the other side! I am in that house-hunting, baby making group. BELIVE ME, I wish, for one day, that I could go back to that simple way of life!
Post # 12
I totally feel for you! My hubby and I are both in grad school (I’ve got 3 years of med school left plus 3 for residency, he’s got 2 left). People all around us are having babies and buying houses, having more babies, going on amazing vacations, etc. And we’re just accumulating student loans and studying like crazy!
The funny thing is, my sister-in-law and her husband bought a house and had a baby when they were my age, and they feel like they missed out on enjoying their 20’s. In the end, it will be worth it. I’m sure you’re in school for something you love, and you’ll be happy when it’s done that you waited for houses and babies!
Post # 13
Okay. Don’t. Feel. Bad. I got married at the ripe ole’ age of 31. I totally f’d up my 20’s by not investing in myself. Meaning…..starting an IRA & stashing away money for that “rainy day.” My hubby came from a very investment savvy family and he began his IRA in his teens. We are very lucky to have purchased our first home together, but you must keep things in perspective. In this tough economy, paying yourself FIRST is a must. Sack away any extra money you can now. When the time comes, you will be much better off at having a down payment on a home. And as for babies……well that’s a whole other topic!!
Post # 14
dont feel bad. it took us a long time to get a house. first we cant afford it, then we didnt have the job for a long time and the last one was really bad credit. but finally it happen. we believe that everything happen for a reason. one day you will have your dream house. just keep you eye on the prize
Post # 15
Don’t feel bad! I sometimes feel like you, and I am going to be 27 in June. I am just finishing school in May. There is a nursing shortage, but there is also a hiring freeze here in Vancouver right now, so I am regularly panicking about the job situation and having to pay off my student loans. But it all will WORK OUT. I don’t own my own home either (the housing market in Vancouver is REDICULOUS), and I am no where CLOSE to having kids. Lots of my close friends have homes and children. You gotta do what is right for you, and know that sometimes its okay to be a little down, but also spend some time being excited and proud for all that you HAVE accomplished. I know that certainly makes me feel better 🙂
Post # 16
Thanks everyone! The grass IS always greener on the other side isn’t it? I do want those three little letters and it is something that I want to devote my life to. I’m as commited to my intended field as I am with my FI and know that there is nothing else I would be as fulfilled with doing. I’m on a mini-crusade and I feel good about that. I don’t envy my friends with babies, as bad as that sounds and we are spending our summer “feathering our nest”, our apartment, by buying matching dishes, making a slip cover for a chair and making a “home” out of our ground floor, half basement apartment. I told FI that I’m at that feathering state on the Kiss posters and his crazy old man halloween mask have to go! Just those two things reallly, I’m not that kind of girl but these both scare me!
I’m excited we are doing this and it’s also nice, since we don’t have a mortage, a car payment OR kids, that we have a little extra money to buy new furniture (maybe NOT used!) and paint and whatnot. We decided to stay in this apartment for a few more years and even though we’ve lived here for almost two years already, it’s time to make it “home”
Thanks Bees! I love knowing I’m not the only one. Based off of my Facebook feed, I am!