Post # 1
It’s been awhile since I’ve been here! I got engaged last summer, and I am getting married in November 2013. Since the wedding is eight months away (I really hope it goes by quickly!!) all that has been done so far is booking the church and reception venue. I did buy a dress and veil, and I have bought a few small things for the wedding.
Here is what is making me crazy, and maybe some of you can relate to this. My fiancé and I, along with my parents (who are paying for the wedding and helping with planning) are super, super traditional. I talked to a co-worker of mine who is also engaged, and she said that all white bouquets and traditional gowns with sleeves are tacky and boring (she didn’t know that my dress and bouquet were traditional).
I just feel so stupid when I talk to vendors because most of them assume that (most likely because of our ages-FI and I are in our early 20’s) we want this modern, wild, raging party.
This is just not our style at all! I have no problem with couples who want that type of wedding; don’t me wrong. However, Fiance and I are very conservative and traditional Christians. Our church, which is our ceremony venue, restricts alcohol at the reception, even if the reception is not on church grounds. Our venue manager thought that was funny and ridiculous. Fiance and I don’t drink and most of our families don’t either, and we honestly couldn’t afford it anyway.
Finally, I also feel frustrated right now trying to find a photographer. Since I want more tradictional photos, I am frustrated because every portfolio I can find looks EXACTLY the same to me, and they are exactly what I don’t want. If I see any more “cutesy” pictures, or especially one more picture with the entire wedding party jumping mid-air, I might scream!!
I honestly mean no offense to any bees who have chosen those types of photos. I just feel stupid and ridiculous because it feels like I basically want a wedding from 20 years ago! My anxiety and serious demeanor don’t make this any easier! Are there any other super traditional brides out there like me?
Post # 3
@SparkleSun: Your cow-worker co-worker is either a nasty b!tch, or an idiot who doesn’t know when to keep her mouth shut. Either way, criticising someone else’s wedding is never cool. Ignore her.
Good vendors and photographers will cater to what you want, not what they think you should want. (Though in the case of the reception manager, it’s probably that they’ll make more money if there are alcholic drinks and it’s his/her way of pressuring you).
Post # 4
@SparkleSun: I want my wedding to be fun, and believe me with my Fiance it will be a barrel of laughs.BUT I am traditional and I am wearing white, have mainly white flowers and to me that is not boring. It is classy and beautiful. I won’t be jumping up and down, Fiance might, and that is ok, but not for me. I don’t think alcohol is a necessary factor at all. Dont let anyone make you feel like your wedding is boring or dull. They can say what they want. It does’nt make it true.
Post # 5
@SparkleSun: There is NOTHING wrong with being traditional! You and your Fiance can do the wedding any way you want, and if you prefer the traditional way, more power to you. Nobody has a right to make you change that if you don’t want it changed. *Hugs*
Post # 6
Welcome to wedding planning – people are always giving you unsolicited opinions. Just brush them off, you deserve to have the wedding you want!
Post # 7
I have a really hard time believing anyone will attend your wedding and think “WOW! She is carrying while flowers! How boring!” because a) how is that boring? and b) even if they thought it was boring they will be paying more attention to the smiles on the faces of you and your Fiance than on flowers.
Also, people don’t need alcohol to have fun so I don’t think people will have a bad time simply because it’s not there. As for the photographer, like paula1248 said, they will do what you want to do. Often photographers have those photos in their porfolios because that’s what lots of people want to do. But it doesn’t mean you have to do it. We didn’t do the jump thing either. It’s just sort of hard when you are all wearing long dresses and tuxs.
Post # 8
You can have a fun and traditional wedding, so long as the guests aren’t uptight. Seems like your guests will be on the same page as the two of you so don’t worry. Everything will work out.
We are not having alcohol at our reception either (we are getting married and having the reception at the church) and if our guests want alcohol bad enough they can leave early to get some. I’d rather them leave and get some than get trashed at my reception (which if they are that desperate for a drink they likely would get completely hammered if there was an open bar)
Traditional is sweet, it is wholesom and it’s sad the rep it’s gotten lately. Some days I wish I were back in the 1950s, then I remember just how women were treated and am back to “yeah, I’ll stick to 2013” but I wish a lot of the values and traditions were still stuck in our time
Post # 9
I’ve been to an AMAZINGLY fun booze-free wedding! We did all sorts of fun wedding dances (group dances), and songs from the 70s and 80s. Everyone had a great time, and everyone kept very modest.
I’m a HUGE fan of a traditional wedding! Yours is going to be AMAZING, no matter what your miserable co-worker thinks. If it represents you as a couple, it can’t be bad!
Post # 10
My dress had half-length sleeves. Does that make me boring? Besides, your wedding is in November so long sleeves makes sense for the weather. White bouquets are gorgeous. I don’t understand how this is tacky and boring…
As for the alcohol-free reception, I’m sure your guests will still have a blast. Most of them have to drive to and from the wedding anyway,
Post # 11
If you’re boring, then so am I. Big, wild, raging parties aren’t our speed either.
Post # 12
I’m sorry but what is a traditional photographer?
Do what you want, most people not in wedding world don’t do these over the top diy or colorful weddings so I don’t think anyone going to be aghast at your wedding, and most people know if the reception hosted at a church then more then likely there won’t be alcohol or perhaps very light refreshment served. Also most vendors I worked with didn’t make assumptions instead they tend to start with what’s your vision for your day and work from there. I think it’s unprofessional people would have comments or thoughts on what your wedding would be based on your age.
Post # 13
Um, I’m not traditional by any means, but I think ANY wedding can be beautiful if done correctly. White flowers are beautiful, and so are black, lime green, or rainbow!
All that really matters is that you love whatever it is you are planning for your wedding day. Nobody is going to be thinking, “oh those flowers are hideous!”, or “wtf, everything is white!”. And if they are, then they seriously have some major problems to work out with themselves.
As PP stated : EVERYONE will begin giving you unwanted advice, or putting thoughts in your head.
Don’t let them get you down!
Post # 14
1. Your co-worker has no filter.
2. I get you on the photos. My husband’s cousin is a photographer and she does amazing photos without all those “cutesy” things you mention. That was something that was very important to me.
3. You are NOT a boring bride. This is your wedding. It is about marrying the love of your life. Ignore what others say.
Post # 15
There’s nothing wrong with being tradition. We aren’t going completely traditional, but our venue also restricts alcohol and we’re not really having any dancing. It’s a small reception space, so there really isn’t any room for that. I feel like people will be bored by our wedding too, but honestly, no one is going to sit at your wedding and say “Oh my, why on earth is she carrying hideious white flowers? How traditional! Blegh.”
Post # 16
I’m not super traditional, BUT, I did go to a pretty extreamly traditional wedding a few months ago. It was my FI’s cousin and so we went because it was important to his parents. I have to say that I thought it was an amazing wedding. Its okay to want something different from what everyone seems to want. If it reflects the two of you, and everyone there knows you both, then it will probably be perfect. At least, perfect for you. That doesn’t make you boring.