Feeling like a failure b/c of relationship not working out…

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
1689 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

“On-and-off” is rarely a good sign.  If you are getting married, you really shouldn’t have any doubts about the other person.  And your relationship should be very strong.

I know several couples who dated for 10+ years who took a break once because they were young.  They ended up getting back together and eventually married, but the break was only once, with very good reasons behind it.

However, you should never fall into the trap of, “Well, we keep coming back to each another so there must be something there.”  By breaking up and getting back together, you are using the relationship as a crutch.

My friend’s mother just remarried this year at at age 70, showing you are never too old to fall in love or meet the right person. 

Good luck!

Post # 4
10899 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@lepetitebee:  It makes perfect sense.

I’m sorry that you’re feeling disappointed by a seven-year investment in something that did not pan out as you had hoped.  However, by ending this relationship and gaining back your “singleness,” you are much closer to finding the right  relationship at some point in the future.  It also stands to reason that, after having another person in your life for so long, you actually are looking forward to the opportunity to be on your own for awhile.  🙂


Post # 5
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

The feeling will pass.  I felt like such a failure during and after my divorce.  It took a few months before I was able to focus on what I learned about myself, other people, and what I wanted out of a relationship (and how bad the marriage actually was.)  I wouldn’t pursue this relationship any further and I would stop all communication with the ex.  Take time to heal and then move on to new relationships.

Post # 6
1036 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Youre not a failure! Think of it it this way – 7 years is a lot better than a lifetime of unhappiness!

Post # 7
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@lepetitebee:  You are not a failure nor are you alone.  Some things just aren’t meant to be!  Be thankful you found out early enough, before marriage and kids.  I felt the same way after my last long term relationship.  But I enjoyed being single and working on me for about a year.  I hated getting back into the dating game, and that felt like failure every time one didn’t make it past 2 dates.  But it did work out for me in the end.  I have faith it will for you, too.  Chin up!

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