Feeling like crap after doctors appointment :(

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
8916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

@bouncybee:  That doctor is a Grade A bitch.  I would definitely find a new doctor, tell her exactly why you’re leaving her practice, and write a bunch of negative reviews wherever you can.  Hugs!

Post # 4
Member
2840 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Holy shit. That is completely unacceptable. I am so sorry you had to go through that. Many many many overweight women have perfectly healthy pregnancies and perfectly healthy babies. There are some things that you may be at higher risk for, like hypertension and gestational diabetes, but again – higher risk doesn’t mean 100% certain, and you can lower your risks by healthy eating (NOT dieting!) and a little bit of exercise. 

Read http://plussizebirth.com/ and http://wellroundedmama.blogspot.com/ and please look for another doctor asap! You do not deserve to be treated like that, period. 

Post # 5
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee

@bouncybee:  I’m so sorry! Your doctor was very unprofessional! While it is a doctor’s job to give you honest health advice, it is also their job to be supportive particularly when you are starting a pregnancy.  

Lots of Virtual Hugs to you – I’m sorry for hurting! You are beautiful no matter what your weight, and you should be celebrating being pregnant, and working hard to be healthy for you and the baby. 

p.s. Get a new doctor! 

Post # 6
Member
8593 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Sorry OP, I would find a new doctor!  That’s pretty unacceptable.  It’s true that overweight/obese pregnant women should gain less (or maybe not at all) but there are better ways to suggest this.

Post # 7
Member
644 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Wow, I can’t believe a doctor would actually say those things!!! While it isn’t ideal to be way overweight during pregnancy it doesn’t really help to focus on that part now that you are pregnant. They should have been more supportive and giving advice on how to proceed with a healthy pregnancy, suggest a nutrition plan and as you mentioned possibly order an early scan. I’m stunned that this happened to you. Can you go to a different doctor?

Post # 8
Member
6510 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Am i wrong to think that this treatment is unacceptable?

No, you are not wrong. That is seriously disgusting behavior and I’m so sorry that you had to go through that today. There are much better ways to inform a person that they need to use weight than to insult them. I feel like most doctors would be pleased to hear that you have been making progress and that you are following your WW leader’s advice. It makes me so sad that you said you are used to being treated horribly due to your weight!

 Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Post # 9
Member
975 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Banff, Alberta

@bouncybee:  What a total bitch! Can you report her? I can’t imagine anyone saying anything like that to anyone, no matter what their size. It doesn’t matter, because no one deserves to be treated like that, but what size are you? 

Post # 10
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee

I would definitely find a new doctor, that’s not the type of woman you want around throughout your pregnancy.

Post # 11
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Oh hun, don’t let this doctor get you down! She sounds awful.. at the end of the day you were able to get pregnant yourself so it totally irrelevant what shes saying about waiting.  I would definately look into getting another doctor, theres no need to feel crap about yourself just becasue of her. Fx for you.

Post # 12
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m very sorry your first appointment went like that 🙁 I’m not a doctor and I wasn’t in the room so I can’t say what was appropriate or not (although it doesn’t sound appropriate or professional to me), but you’re entitled to your feelings regardless. 

You are a person, you do have feelings, and you do have value and worth. You know yourself better then the doctor does and you know that you’ll make the right decisions for you and your child. I know it’s very difficult, but remember that in every profession there are judgmental people who lack tact. Try to stay positive for you and your baby! You are not disgusting. Be kind to yourself! This is supposed to be a wonderful time not a sad one and as hard it is, you have to take the value that you can find out of what people say and ignore the rest. She absolutely should have talked to you respectuflly about the possible consequences of added weight, rather than make it a personal slam (which is what it sounds like). 

Hang in there hun!!! Try not to let it get you down too much 🙁 

Post # 13
Member
4513 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

What?! Did she call YOU stupid or did she say something like, “its not smart to get pregnant/go through a pregnancy at your weight” etc etc? I mean, it might still be harsh but I interpret that much differently than blatantly saying, “you’re stupid.” Maybe thats just me though. I just find it so unacceptable and shocking that a doctor would say this to a patient! Find a new one.

Post # 15
Member
1343 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@bouncybee:  I just had to pull out the computer for this one (typing on the tablet just wasn’t going to do it)

All my life I have been bullied by healthcare professionals. Examples: 

Doctor- “Mrs.Lolita, I see that you are here for a head cold/ sinus infection? Looking at your weight here, you do realize that your BMI puts you just into the obese category” 

Doctor- “Mrs.Lolita’s mother, I know she is only 9 years old, very active, and has healthy eating habits; however, have you ever tried the atkins diet for her?” 

Literally, I have had an OBGYN while inserting a speculum and doing a pap smear tell me how dangerous it is to be overweight and ask me how many calories I eat a day. (rule of thumb: unless you are my husband, don’t talk to me while messing with my ladybits, especially about sensitive material)

It will never end until YOU make it end. Find a doctor that works for you. They don’t have to baby you. As healthcare professionals it is their job to talk to you and give you the tools you need to be healthy. They should build up your self confidence and not tear you down. 

I was so nervous when finding out that I was pregnant. I have lost some weight, but I’m still overweight. I just knew that I would be treated as a leper by my doctors, especially because I was pregnant. Well, I took to the internet, saw a place that had overall good reviews and took the leap. She (the doctor) didn’t make a single nasty comment about my weight. 

She complemented my skin and how excited my husband and myself looked. She told me that I shouldn’t gain anymore than 10-15 pounds and most overweight women really have no problem with this (she was very encouraging). She set me up with the nutritionist in the office. She told me what exercises I could and couldn’t do. 

We are doing a scan at 9 weeks because my uterus felt further along to her. She made a point to tell me that it wasn’t because of my weight (and not to worry), but that my uterus just felt bigger. 

I left there feeling well informed and yet respected. I think that should be the goal of any doctor! YES you are still a human being! YES you deserve respect and YES you deserve good healthcare. 

You need to find another doctor. NEVER have anyone let you feel inferior. Like I said, your doctor shouldn’t baby you (there are risks associated) but they should give you the tools you need to have a sucessful pregnancy. 

Congrats OP! If you ever want to talk you are always free to message me anytime! I know how scary it can be (I know how crappy you can feel). 

Good luck ((hugs))

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