(Closed) Feeling like I cant talk about my wedding (Its 2 months from today)

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

You need to say these things to them!! I totally agree with you, there is no reason that you can’t let your wedding be over with before you start working on theirs – it’ll still be a whole year away!!

No advice, other than talk about it with them on a neutral level

Post # 4
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Is your brother marrying your future sister in law or is it a coincidence that they’re being weird about this?? Its time for YOU to be excited about your wedding. Maybe tell her fine if she doesn’t want to focus on yours right now but you’re not ready to focus on any wedding but your own until after its over.

Post # 6
Member
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

i think she needs some sense slapped into her.  sorry for the violence.  she should have enough sense and respect for you.

i’m in her shoes.   my brother is getting married this august and i’m getting married next year.  i’m doing some planning but in no way am i making a bigger deal about mine than theirs.  the only time i talk about my wedding is when i ask my future sis in law for advice.  i figured she’s been through it so she probably knows.  i sort of feel like i really can’t get too excited about mine it until after their wedding is over.  i’m having a destination wedding so i’m waiting until after their wedding to send my save the dates. 

Post # 7
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

Hm, I understand both sides. You have a lot of things to do right now… because last minute details are crazy! But she wants to talk about her wedding as well. If I were you, I would try to understand her situation. Of course she will have tons of time to plan… but she shouldn’t stop all planning just because you’re getting married in 2 months. When she talks about her wedding, just help her out with planning. If you have planned something or have insight from your wedding, say something. But if not, there’s no need to bring up your wedding as well. Let her have some time to talk about hers without you bringing up yours. I’m not saying don’t ever talk about it. But seeing her side, it would be nice if she were able to talk about hers without you mentioning yours. It was wrong of her to snap on you though. Geez.

Post # 8
Member
3640 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I think that you need to really let her know how you feel. Whether in person or in a letter: Tell her how it feels every time she pushes your wedding aside, or tells you you can’t talk about it. Explain that there are only 2 more months until your wedding and that after that you’ll have 12+ months to talk about hers. Not that you can’t talk about her’s now, but that it should at least be 50/50.

Be clear, be blunt, be nice about it but let her know that she is hurting you.

Post # 9
Member
278 posts
Helper bee

WHenever I am in situations like this, I try to add in sarcasm or make it a joke. For example, if someone said “who in the hell cares about your wedding” I would say “The same people that care about yours, our family. And since your family I thought you would care a little more about mine” and then if they get a sour face I would just say “geez chill out, its a joke. Dont let weddings get you all so uptight.” Because in the end, they are being crazy jealous and you need to call them out. What if you bring up something about bm hair or makeup..is she going to throw that question out the window and say NO LETS TALK ABOUT MINE. Like for real? Your wedding is first, therefore, needs to be discussed more often (especially when she’s a BM).

Post # 10
Member
1747 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I wouldn’t even bother saying anything. I would go about my day talking to the people that did care.

I wouldn’t be venemous when her time came around, but I would be much less likely to care or offer my thoughtful insight.

She has esteem issues that won’t go away with one talk, I can tell you that.

 

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