- 3 years ago
- Wedding: February 2017
I’m actually hoping these feelings are stemming from being irrational; I hate feeling this way and, if its a feeling that I can control and change (versus being a problem on his end), I will be much happier. If this is more of his issue, it won’t be so easy.
SO turned 21 6 weeks ago. The dynamic of our entire relationship has changed since (and even before) his “big birthday day”. For weeks before his birthday, he would drink very frequently at home to ‘warm up’ for his birthday. It was unusual behavior since he never really drinks, but its somewhat understandable. He went to Vegas for his birthday (I didn’t go since I’m not 21 yet and didn’t want to hold him back from enjoying himself) and since then, he is consumed by partying and drinking. Its affecting our relationship.
-I asked him to come over to my parent’s last Thursday, since I stay at his place all the time. He said he would, but then said he was going to grab a bite to eat first (and said he’d bring me food). He shows up 5 hours later (11:15 at night) after drinking (drinking and driving is a huge no-no to me, especially since I live 30 minutes away from the bar) and forgot to bring my food. Seems silly, but I felt like I wasn’t important enough to consider.
-I work and go to school and haven’t done anything on the weekend in a while. Last Friday, we decided to go to a friend’s house to stay the night and drink. He worked early the next morning so we would have to drive separate (I haven’t had a chance to sleep in in a very, very long time.) I got out of school (and had to work for a few hours) and he said he’d get me food so I wouldn’t have to worry about dinner. When I called him to say I was done and was leaving, he was already drunk as hell and needed me to pick him up and drive him. Either I would have to stay sober to take us home that night, or I would have to wake up very early so we could drive home in the morning so he could get his truck and make it to work. Both situations seemed to give me the short end of the stick. AND, he forgot dinner again: again attesting to how insignificant I feel.
-I picked him and his friends up from the bars this past weekend and he ended up puking all over my car. I offered to pick him up, so I didn’t really care, but I’m really trying to give him the chance to enjoy this newfound drinking freedom.
-And then tonight, he’s out again at a bar with his friend for a concert. I worked 12 hours today and offered to pick him up, but when I learned that he would be out late, I got angry and said it wasn’t fair. Now, his mom has to stay up late tonight until the concert is over to pick him up.
I just don’t understand this new lifestyle, and how its consuming his entire social life. He is always going out, we’ve had hardly any time together, and I am feeling so frusterated because I have been working a lot lately and am still trying to pull my weight on household duties (mostly grocery shopping, dinner, and laundry.) He has been working short days this week and has done nothing productive, yet he continues to go out and drink with his buddies.
Please help ease these feelings of insignificance. Its breaking my heart.