Post # 1
Tonight was a disaster, and that is an understatement at this point probably.
It started out good when my SO and I took an impromptu dinner date into town since I didn’t feel like cooking tonight. We got home and were joking around. SO brought up the engagement again and I asked him if he’d heard anything about the ring. He said if he had I wouldn’t know since he wants everything to be a complete surprise. Ok, fine. But then he said “doesn’t matter anyway I have to the end of January now for our anniversary.” That comment sort of pissed me off and I told him that if he waits till the end of January I’d be pissed because he gave me a timeline of the end of the year and I only extended it him because the ring issue was out of his hands. That didn’t mean I wanted to wait till the end of January, since it would honestly make me feel like he was dragging his feet until the last possible moment.
So he apologized and we sat down on the couch and started playing around again. I was laughing and my SO was laughing. Then he looked at me all dreamy eyed and that’s where things got somewhat blurry. I remember him tickling me and then he called me by my pet name. He then dropped to the floor and I was still laughing. I told him to get up and stop playing around since I wanted to see if any good New Years Eve countdown shows were on TV. But he wouldn’t get up and said ” will you marry me?” I was laughing and he was smiling all hard, so I thought he was joking around. I wouldn’t put it past him to do such a thing. I asked him if he was serious and then he got up and left the room. Later on he told me he was serious, and was angry I didn’t take him seriously. I told him I didn’t know he was because 1) he called me by my pet name when he asked, which already irks me when he does it when he tells me he loves me. I don’t feel it carries the same weight as him calling me by my name and telling me that and he knows that. 2) We were joking around when he asked and when I later on asked him why he asked then, he said it was to appease me. He didn’t want me to be mad he didn’t ask before the new year since I told him I didn’t want him waiting till the last possible moment to ask. I then told him that I didn’t want him asking because he felt he had to. I wanted him to ask when he actually wanted to, which he later claimed he did. But I’m not buying it completely.
I cried myself to sleep after that. He woke me up to countdown to midnight with me, but I was still angry with myself and a little with him. I then asked him what he would’ve done if I would’ve said yes. He said he would’ve kissed me, but wouldn’t have told his parents. Which sort of defeats the purpose of asking in the first place if you ask me. If I can’t tell anyone that we are engaged, why ask before you’re ready to tell other people? I mean waiting a day or two I can understand. But possibly waiting weeks makes no sense to me. And we had once again discussed this before. I apologized and he said he’d get over it and ask me again later when he has the ring. So yeah my night sucked…
Post # 3
I’m sorry to hear your night wasn’t what you had hoped. (((hugs)))
Try not to (next year) ring in the year like this. I know it sucks, but it really starts things off on the wrong foot. Maybe tell him next time if he’s serious to call you by your real name and not do it when joking. Preferably with a ring. Since he seems to get it, all you can do is make sure that you two maintain the good vibes.
Happy new year. It should be getting better for you soon!
Post # 4
@Tarheelgurl: i think you need to relax. He is going to have the ring soon and propose. Even if he waits until the end of January it’s not because he’s dragging his feet – it’s probably to make sure he can surprise you. It kind of sounds really insecure to say something like that. Waiting and your relationship will be much easier if you just relax, enjoy the process and let it happen when it happens. No one wants to be fighting over an engagement just weeks before the proposal is supposed to happen.
Post # 5
@Tarheelgurl: I’m sorry the night didn’t go the way you wanted. Just take some deep breaths and relax. He’ll propose when he’s good and ready. The last thing you want is for him to feel like he’s obligated or pressured to propose. Maybe you could plan a fun date night together to take your minds off of things?
Post # 6
@Tarheelgurl: I would be upset too!! Making you wait to the last minute for no good reason is kinda mean. (LOL- at first I typed “kinda men” instead of “kinda mean” which also works). I think it is good that you stood your ground and clearly communicated what you wanted. Now he knows not to joke around about it and I’m sure he will get it right the next time around. And you really are so so so so close!! Tons of waiting bees would be so thankful to know they have less than a month to wait! So now that you have spoken your peace, start the New Year on a new foot- 2013 looks like it is going to be a particularly amazing year for you!! *BIG HUG*
Post # 7
@Tarheelgurl: Ugh…I’m so sorry. Boys can be so dumb, can’t they? It’s such an important moment in a woman’s life and we just want it to be so perfect and not to be made light of.
Just take heart that it is coming soon and that 2013 will be your year. Now that your SO knows how you feel, I’m sure he will do his best to make the proposal so memorable and special for both of you.
NYE was a little bittersweet for me also as at one point before midnight, I the crazies took over and I actually thought my SO was about to propose (even though I logically knew it wouldn’t happen that night). The disappointment sent me over the edge, and running to the ladies room in tears.
This proposal waiting game can make the most sane girl a little crazy for sure!
Post # 8
Thanks for the replies everyone. We did talk about things and I straight up told him that the answer was still yes since I failed to give him an answer when I felt he was joking around. But he said he would just wait and do it with a ring next time. Our new year did start off great though, my SO got a few days off of work, so we got to spend four days or so together. 🙂
Also I wasn’t pressuring him to propose. I told him to do it when he wanted to, but he was the one who told me he would do it before the new year. So I was just asking him was that still happening or not. He put himself under pressure, not me. And if he does wait till the end of the month I will be livid. I’m pretty sure the ring is close to being done by now, so there is no reason he should have to wait till our anniversary to ask me. And if he does, I will feel like he’s dragging his feet, especially when he gave me a deadline of the last week in December and told me that the only reason it got pushed back was because he didn’t have the ring. So if he does get the ring soon, I will see no reason in him holding onto it for awhile. I know it’s coming, and the longer he waits, the more it will make me feel like he’s just making me wait for nothing. And yes, he does know how I feel about that.