Feeling low – Separate for the holidays.

posted 2 years ago in Holidays
Post # 2
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

It doesn’t seem right that you have to work on EVERY holiday. Is it not an option to arrange with your work to have at least one of the major holidays off every year? Then you and your spouse will know you can spend your holiday together, and can alternate whose family you spend it with.

Post # 4
Member
5966 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

 

LadyCapricorn:  do you have any friends in the area that you can spend time with during the holidays?  I know it’s not the same but at least you won’t be alone. I know this will sound cheesy but maybe consider volunteering to help the needy or to deliver toys to kids on christmas or visit a children’s hospital and help. It might help to do something like that so you aren’t alone and are still spreading some love around christmas. If i was going to be alone and had no friends to spend the holidays with that’s what I would do 🙂

I’m sorry you are so bummed. I would be too. Maybe talk to her and see if alternating every year would work? one year she spends it at home with you (since you are her family unit now) and one year she can go visit family? thats the solution I would suggest if I were in your place. Good luck OP

Post # 5
Member
2328 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t know why but something about this post compelled me to come back and respond. I think when your SO returns you should have a talk about how you are going to practically deal with Thanksgiving and Christmas in the future. Who to spend the holidays with can often be a difficult decision to make but one that should only be made by the two people in the couple and not to be ditacted by either family. 

I live in England and don’t celebrate Thanksgiving so can only speak from a Christmas perspective. My DH works in a supermarket and he isn’t allowed any holidays for December. He has his usual time off obviously and everyone gets 3 days around Christmas day itself but it does mean that we can’t go away together to visit my family members who live elsewhere in the country. Instead I am going with my parents to see them a few weeks prior to Christmas. Is there anyway your SO could go before the holidays so she still gets to see them but spends the actual day with you? 

For me, the most important thing is I get to spend Christmas Day with my DH. Whether that be with his family, my family or somewhere completely different. 

Post # 6
Member
10493 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

stardustintheeyes:  The alternating thing was what I was going to suggest.  Maybe your family can even visit you during the holidays.

Post # 7
Member
3695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

LadyCapricorn:  That is a bummer. I would be pretty bummed if I had to spend the holidays completely alone. At the same time, there is no way in hell that I would leave my SO alone for the holidays to go visit my family. As PP suggested is there any way that your SO can go visit family before Christmas and then come back and spend Christmas with you? If you have friends in your area, maybe you can spend the holidays with them?

Post # 8
Member
5016 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

LadyCapricorn:  To me, being with my spouse is not an option. I think the best solution would be for you and your SO to start new traditions at your home on major holidays. Perhaps your family or hers could come to you, instead. Perhaps choose a weekend around the holidays where you can go home and celebrate and visit your families. It’s not fair to you that she leaves every holiday – I wouldn’t stand for it. 

Post # 9
Member
1429 posts
Bumble bee

Its nice that you support your SO’s decision to go travel home … but you should pretty down about it and personally, if I had to work every holiday I would want/expect my SO to stay home with me for some of the holidays.  If SO has more vacation than you they can go visit other times some year or if its just the timing you could go together at some other time. And, I don’t know how old you are but I feel like my parents have gotten more understanding as I’ve gotten older that I have my own life separate from them now and can’t spend every holiday with them.

Post # 10
Member
3136 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Sweeeeeeeeeetie, that sucks. Plan your own Christmas and thanksgiving late! Just the two of you! Been there. It’s really annoying. Ugh missing out on Christmas cuddles. Delay it, change it, break the ruuuules. But I feel for you.

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