(Closed) Feeling neglected tonight.

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Totally feel you– my FI works really long hours and I work from home, so he expects me to have dinner ready when he gets home and the whole house always clean. I actually enjoy it most of the time, so it works out for us, but I know how it can sometimes feel very frustrating.

I would definitely talk to him to set some guidelines for who is responsible for what. Could he throw in a load of laundry before he leaves for work or when he gets home? Or doing other small chores that aren’t time consuming. I’m sure he doesn’t even realize that you want him to do more, or know what he could do to be more helpful (I know that’s how my FI is). 

Another way to ease the stress would be to think of ways you can do some of the things together. Get things ready to make homemade pizza or make-your-own tacos or sushi before he gets home, and then you can finish preparing the meal together when he’s there. That way you turn the cooking into something a little more enjoyable and he can be involved. Same with some cleaning chores– totally dreading cleaning the bathroom, or pulling weeds in the yard, or whatever? Tell him upfront that you’ve set aside next Saturday to do it together and get it done more quickly. When you’re done, go get an ice cream or watch a movie to reward both of you.

Also, just for your own sanity, I’ve found it really useful to set myself a weekly schedule of what days I do which chores or clean what. Otherwise I feel overwhelmed by everything every day.

Honestly, guys are totally clueless when it comes to some of this (especially if their moms did everything for them) so it’s up to you to talk to him and/or find ways to invovle him.

Sorry you’re having a tough day though! 🙂

Post # 5
Member
44 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I feel your pain.  I went through the same thing.  We both work full-time plus I was taking  classes and coming home to cook and clean. I finally had enough, talked to him and he saw where I was coming from.  I still do the cooking and cleaning but now he helps load the dishwasher and helps with the laundry among other things.

Talk to your guy and let him know how you’re feeling.  I’m sure he’ll come around.  

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