- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
It is just about 8 months away and I am so nervous! Is this normal??
Am I marrying the right man?
Will I end up in divorce?
Am I missing out on my youth? (I’m 25)
SO many questions flying throught my head… And to top it off we seem to be a little more on edge with eachother as of late. Usually we understand each other pretty well but, now it seems I am constantly displeased with him. I wonder if I’m just being a bitch… or bridezilla?? My biggest fear is being a bridezilla. I stare at him and know i love him. That isn’t the problem… I mean if we weren’t getting married I wouldn’t be questioning my relationship. I also know that if we weren’t getting married I wouldn’t be so concerned with details about our relationship.
So what do I do?
I let the days go by and wake up some days so annoyed with him I can just rip my own hair out…other days I wake up so in love that I don’t want to get out of bed… I just want to cuddle him and love on him for hours…
Mind you, we have been living together for over 3 years at this point. We have seen some bad days and some great days. But these feelings I’m having now are new.. I question myself.. the way that you should be questioned by your best girlfriends after you have been with a guy a while… Do you love him? Enough to put up with the good, the bad, the ugly?
I mean why don’t already married couples tell you about these emotions? Maybe because everyone is living in a pretend world where everything is perfect and they don’t want us wives-to be/husbands-to be to know about how horrible the engagement period was or how scared they actually were. I recently asked my girlfirend if she was nervous hours before her wedding.. Her response “No, Why would I be nervous?”. Uhm… BECAUSE YOU ARE GETTING MARRIED AND SAYING I DO FOREVER!! And a break up is not just a simple break up..especially if you have gotten to the point of children. A break up from marraige starts with seperation then moves on into divorce. You split your assests, fight over your children and pets, and eventually give up or give in.
That is not part of my vision for my future. However, I would be lying to you if I told you I wasn’t worried about it being a possibility.
So why don’t they tell us? Or is it just me feeling so un-sure? It couldn’t be…Could it? He seems so calm. Does he love me more than I love him? If so, when did that happen? Can i do better? Will I be poor and unhappy if I marry him? Or will we be comfortable or rich? So many questions and no answers…
Am I insane? Is this normal?…