Feeling old in your 20's

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
320 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

It’s the quarter life crisis!  I’m 25 next week and I’m feeling it, too.  I know we are young and have plenty of time, but damn, it feels stressful. 

Post # 3
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m also from an area where I’m “old” to be getting married at 27. Luckily, when I went to work at a unversity (somewhat nearby, but in an urban area), I connected with lots of women older than I who aren’t married or have kids yet (funny, to them I’m too young to be married). With seeing both sides, I’ve been able to chalk it up to the fact that “it’s all relative” and do what works for me. I’ve always been the youngest in my family and am still called the baby, so I don’t really have the feelings of oldness. I’ve always wanted to be older and even now, I certainly don’t dread my 30’s (they’re the new 20’s!) — I like that I’ll be more into my career, have more money, and more independence. I also will be buying a house with FI, starting a family, and lots more exciting things that I’m not doing now. I also know it’s better than the alternative! Thinking about it like that makes me happy to get older!

ETA: Overall, I try to balance that with just being happy in the present. I think too much we dwell on the past or future. I am practicing mindfulness and being in the moment. There’s trade offs at every age so I’m trying to enjoy and take advantage of the perks of being 27 right now 🙂

Post # 5
Member
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

purplebumblebee:  I’m practically an old maid getting married at 25. Everyone I know got married 18-21 (some 23 because they waited “so” long :-P) and many have a few kids already.

Luckily I have a friend my age who loves to go out dancing/drinking/clubbing. Even though clubs aren’t really my thing, I like to drink and I go to have fun with her otherwise I probably wouldn’t go on my own.

But it’s summer now so you should make some sort of summer/20s/fun bucket list!

Post # 6
Member
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I had a quarter-life crisis at 27. It was rough but I made it through by upgrading my job, apartment and town.

Post # 7
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee

purplebumblebee:  I don’t “feel” old even though i am about to be 24.

Ask my cousin and she will tell you I am a grandma. Yeah i dont go out drinking til 4am every weekend now. I rarely go out during the week – most nights i am asleep by 10pm so i can wake up early and take my dog out for a run before work. She always rolls her eyes at me or says i am lame like an old married woman but honestly, that is just not that ejoyable for me anymore. Every now and then SURE i love me a drunken night out, but it isnt my life style. 

SO and I go to house parties with our friends, we go to Las Vegas (A LOT according to some people lol) sporting events, we LOVE disneyland etc. But to her, I’m old because i am always hanging with him and not shmammered with her. 

Point is, if YOU feel old – then do something about it! Go out and LIVE. Do what you love, join a class, go out, drink, travel etc. 

Post # 8
Member
4758 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I just turned 22 and feel old sometimes. I’m studying abroad right now with 25 other people and it is just confirming my thoughts about not being your typical “lets get shitfaced every single night” college student. I feel like a grandma on this trip. But in reality I am so glad it is just me, my SO and our dog and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I lost both of my parents by the time I was 16 so I also had to grow up really fast, but it has made me into the person I am today.

Post # 9
Member
10489 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

leisha606:  That’s tough to do when it’s due to medical issues.  I’m tied down to a minimum of a medical appointment a week.  I need to spend a fair bit of time hanging out by an emergency room just in case.  Travelling is difficult when you’re concerned about how far away the medical help you might need will be.  Add in the fact I have little energy and often feel like crap and it’s difficult.

Post # 10
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Travel, move to the city, join an adventure group! Take weekend trips to towns you’ve never been. Go to poetry readings and art shows in the city. Pick a political or social cause to fight for and join an advocacy group. No offense to fellow Midwesterners, but it’s a pretty beige place, especially if you’re in the suburbs.

 

I guarantee when you are hiking the Appalachian Trail or backpacking through Europe or protecting women from pickers outside Planned Parenthood, you will not be surrounded by boring married 22-year-old-married-with-kids, nor will you find yourself so bored with life that you compare your 23 year old face to an 18 year old’s and find it lacking…

 

Post # 11
Member
1091 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

I’m turning 29 soon, and I feel younger than I did at 19. I’m not entirely sure why. Maybe it’s because the older I get, the more I realize how much I don’t know? I felt much more confident in my eternal wisdom when I was younger. Now, looking back, the fact that I felt wise is hysterical!

I still have SO much to learn!

(FYI, I’m not even engaged yet… Been with my SO for 3 years, but he’s also 3 years younger than me.)

Post # 12
Hostess
2787 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m 26 and feel old…you can call it the clock ticking….but I DON”T WANT KIDS right now…and then sure enough I get people trying to ask me when I think it’s a good time to do so…and I’m like I DUNNO…then I feel bad for my 33 year old husband…who doesn’t want kids now, but wants them sooner then I do…and then we can’t agree on how far apart we want kids…and I’m all about the 4 year gap because I want to breath in between kids…and then of course people tell me I have to start now if I’m down for that..because time is not my friend….

But then I feel like I accomplished nothing in my life (not true but…) and I want to do something cray…but time is not my friend….and I want to live life with no regrets before babies come….yet I feel young…I feel like I did when I was 20…like the world is my oyster….

OHHHH VENT….over……anywho I guess what I really meant to say was…I don’t feel old…but people never fail to remind me that I am not young and time will tick…

Humm I don’t like time sometimes….

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  KingsDaughter.
Post # 13
Member
2065 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

purplebumblebee:  this usually happens. i mean 23 is kind of early to feel this way. i turn 28 in two months! how am i already this close to 30. i dont have children and just married. though i feel pressure from society to have children… cuz im “old” lol. you just got to brush it off. to be honest. i look at myself and who i was as a teenager and way sexier as an adult. yeah i was skinnier and could eat whatever i want. And remember some of those out of high school girls are going to look terrible in a few years! just try to take care of yourself. or at least thats what i do. eat healthy, stop tanning, exersice. lotion up… i have been finding my first wrinkles. and for the first time my knees are sore lol. i couldnt imagine if i had skipped my early twenties, got married then and started having babies. stop thinking about how old you are and start planning your life. like OP said, go travel. start living! 

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