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OK. This is REALLY shallow.
I just got some wedding pictures back from my best friend (MOH). They are lovely pictures and she is a wonderful photographer.
But I feel like I look old... you know ... matronly, tired, menopausal, and chubby. In my head, I imagined a 20 year old. But now I see a 50 year old.
I know it's just head games and please don't think I'm fishing for compliments - but reassure me that I looked ok.
Thanks Bees.
I think you looked amazing! I'd have personally guessed your age at maybe 37 or 38. And I think you killed that dress a lot better than most 25 year olds I know!! :)
You looked beautiful! "Matronly" is the last word that I would use to describe the woman in those pics.
ETA: the word I would use is radiant. It is so obvious that you were incredibly happy, which only enhances your beauty.
You really do look pretty and very happy. But I know exactly how you feel. I'm 44 and when I saw some of my pics I too was totally shocked that they didn't show a 20 year old because that's how I still feel inside. This is just the age where it's hard to reconcile what you see in the mirror vs. what you see in your head. Lol No worries though-you look great!
I think as we all get older the outter image doasn't match with the inner spirit. Believe me I somethimes feel like I've lived a few lifetimes and feel it. Other times I feel like I'm a kid again. My fiance and I just got back from a bike ride and I always feel like a little girl when I ride my bike (I just keep reaching for the bell.. ding! ding!...lol)
I know what you're saying but your from your pictures theres NO way I would have guessed you were over 40, no way!!! You look absolutely beautiful. I hope us girls have reassured you, you look amazing!!!!
@sonomagal: You look stunning! Way younger and exuding happiness and healthiness more than many 20- and 30-somethings I know.
"matronly, tired, menopausal, and chubby" - not even close! Don't self-sabotage, you are a beautiful bride :)
Yes, Ill Be Mrs B and 2ndtimeacharm. You are exactly right.
Its so hard to look at photos of myself in general. The face I see in my mind's eye is just not the face that shows up in photos these days.
I feel so much younger than I am.
The wedding pictures really brought it home. It was also a second wedding for me. When I first got married, I was 29. I guess that's what I was expecting to see again. When I saw me in the new photos, it sort of freaked me out - and then all I could see were all the imperfections and signs of age.
Sigh.
But thanks Bees. It does help a LOT to get other view points. So keep 'em coming. LOL
@sonomagal: When I read that you see a face with imperfections and signs of age it triggered something Ive often thought of myself.
Im 46 years old, like you getting married the 2nd time and feeling more in love than I did my 1st husband. I see my reflection in the mirror and see tiny lines forming around my eyes and the wear and tear my body has been through. You know what? Im proud of every single line. I wouldn't trade my face/body (ok, maybe my body...lol) for a 25 year old. I try to live by "I'm old enough to know what I want but young enough to do something about it!!!" Would you want to be that 29 year old bride again? I wouldn't want to be the 19 year old bride I was even if a genie granted me that wish I'd say "No thanks", I love my life now. Please know you're not alone, I totally understand and I'm here for you if you want to PM me.
"I'm old enough to know what I want but young enough to do something about it!!!"
BRILLIANT.
I feel exactly like you do. I thought I understood what love and marriage was when I was 29. But I've learned a lot and have found a man I really love - and I really understand love and marriage far more than I did at 29. Go back to being 29 years old? No way.
I just need to learn to see myself as a beautiful 50. And the truth is, I was seeing imperfections at 29, too. Why can't we women learn to love who we are and not what wew think we should be?
I have to agree with the pp's you look extremely happy, and that to me says youthful! You look awesome, definitely NO where near 50.
@sonomagal: and you ARE a beautiful 50 and if you ask anyone here they would never think you're anywhere near that. Us women are hard on ourselves, we can fight aging but will never win, eventully it's gonna catch up to us. Be proud you've fooled mother nature this long!!!!
You honestly look VERY beautiful and happy. The adjetives you used to describe what you see definitely don't match what we see. congrats!
You honestly look VERY beautiful and happy. The adjetives you used to describe what you see definitely don't match what we see. congrats!
You look gorgeous...
I know how you feel. When I imagined what I would look like on my wedding day, I imagined the 23 year old that I was when I was first married... But that isn't who's in the wedding pictures that I treasure so much now... The woman in my wedding pictures is older and wiser with a lot more experience. She's heavier, not in the best shape of her life any more and she has some gray hair that she covers with hair color...All those things show in the pictures, but so does something else...For the first time, I see a woman who is completely in love in my wedding pictures...
That's what I see in your pictures too... A woman who is completely in love, with the confidence and experience to know it's for real.
I agree with the PP's, you look beautiful! I would never ever have thought of any of those adjectives you used when looking at these pics!
I'm 28 and I'd kill for your body!
You look simply gorgeous and your dress is amazing! Don't let your mind play tricks on you! You are a beautiful bride.
OMG you do not look old! You are a glowing and stunning bride!
OMG you look beautiful!!!!
Weddings aren't just for 20 year olds...us older women maybe have a leg up on them...we know what we want, we have had amazing successes in life, and we know how to ROCK the DRESS!!!
I agree with everyone else about how pretty and youthful and happy you are. I'm 46 and only wish I looked so young!
But, for my real question: where did you get the veil? I wasn't planning to wear a veil but I love yours! 
you're seriously 50?? you're are you just exaggerating? because honestly, i would have guessed 35.
In my opinion you look "real." like a real bride with a stupid silly look of love on her face because she's going to spend the rest of her life with the perfect partner. NOT one of those air-brushed magazine brides that always look pissed off angry. Seriously, why can't they smile?? (sorry, one of my peeves, lol)
@dmcanespy: Awwww thanks. As for the veil, I got it on etsy. The seller's name is "abusymother". It was a custom veil with the following:
diamond white
single layer
cascading cut
1/8" satin ribbon edge
33" long
It was only $35!!!!!!!!
Gosh everyone - what INCREDIBLY nice things to say. I do feel better. It really is all about the images we carry in our heads and the unrealistic images of what we are "supposed" to look like us women (of ALL ages) carry in our heads.
When we aren't size 2's, under 30 years old, with airbrushed skin we think we are deeply flawed. Thank you for reminding me that you can be just as beautiful - if not more so - at a size 14, at 50, and with less than perfect skin!
Here's a picture that I really like! Enjoy.
you HAVE to be kidding...you looked GORGEOUS!!! I hope I look like you when I am 40 something. :) Seriously, beautiful!
As an Encore Bride-to-be who just turned 61, I think you look FABULOUS! I feel the same way, especially after seeing my pre-wedding pictures. I kept seeing a 20-30 year old, then I see this "mature" women! This gives me hope! Congratulations!
I am 49 and getting married this December. I hope on my wedding day I look half as beautiful as you look. BTW - you have a stunning figure not at all chubby!!
@sonomagal: you look extremely happy and radiant. love is a powerful thing. i do know what you mean though about how we see ourselves. we are our own worst critics though. stop judgin yourself and just enjoy the wonderful man that loves the beautiful woman standing next to him and who's hand he took in marrige. congrats!!!
Wait a minute. Am I reading this right? You're 50? That isn't possible - you don't even look 40 in those photos! I hope I look that amazing when I reach the fabulous age of 50! Congratulations on your wedding!
I think you are lying ... you are obviously not 50 .. I bet you sonomogal isnt even your real name either !!!
First of all, you look great. Congratulations on your wedding!
Second, you look better and look like to take care of yourself better than a lot of 20 somethings.
Third- the 20 somethings will one day be 40 somethings. You just have to embrace and focus on your positive qualities and love life!
You look great and the most important is you look very very happy :-) Congratulations on your wedding.
I think you look great. Also, keep in mind that most professional wedding photogs do a LOT of retouching. So it's really not even fair to compare your wedding photos to those of 20-somethings anyway. Even the 20-somethings don't actually look that good in most cases!
Mountain Man says Im not allowed to compare myself to anyone born pre-moon landing. That heps a LOT in keeping my morale up.
We shouldnt compete with 20,30, or even 40 somethings.. We are awesome in our own way.
I think baby boomer issue is that we have no one as role models. Before us women did age quicker. Remember 50 is the new 30 ;) especially with a new love in your life.
@retreadbride: You look great. Don't even worry about it. I am 48 and will be married one month after my 50th birthday. Yes, I'll get the airbrush makeup but other than that I am not going to stress about it. I am engaged to a 60 year old with 3 times the amount of energy than the whiny 35 year old I used to date.
Its not that we don't have role models. Women used to chop off their hair as soon as they hit 35 and dress frumpy/matronly. They still had young faces but this went unnoticed because of their hair and clothes. That's why 50 year olds look so much younger than they did 30 years ago.
@nycsa: Hair- I remember in my 30's thinking- "when Im 50 I have to have short hair." and actually heard a 20 something co-worker mention the same thing. Geez- I have great hair, and as long as Clarol can cover the roots Im keeping it long.
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