feeling overshadowed

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
790 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

well being i dont know you at all i cant really be happy for you, but im in your shoes, my FI has 3 other siblings and everyone woo’s over them but when it comes to my FI and i , “whats your name again”….ugh, his mother hates me, his father dosent really like the idea im so opinionated- i dont like how everyone drinks and i hate smoking – i told my FI in front of his family he would have a better chance of me forgiving him if i found him in bed with another woman then he would with a cig, in his hand/mouth. (my dad died from smoking related issues- i wont love someone else who wants to kill themselves slowly like my father did i wont deal with it) so for that i think i have be shunned from his family, in photos they always tell me now in front or you stand in the back and most of the time im chopped out of the photo- his one brothers was getting engaged around the time we did and his FI asked me over and over “did you get your spot light yet are you happy now because we want to get engaged and dont want to step on your toes bla bla…” i didnt really care if they got engaged the same day, but just the way she put it made me feel like crap and then everyone was so SO excited for them to get engaged they wanted to do a engagement party for them and everything for us its like “well its about time”—my FI and I started dating the same week as his brother and his SO, so its not like we were dating years and years and its about time…we get no love from the family…sometimes i like it because im now not obligated to do anything for them because they always seam to neglect me in something, so “i never knew it was her birthday, sorry i didnt make my awesome cake for you” i get to say with total sarcasm….ha… oh lord can i vent about them…if i could take my FI far far away i would be so happy… but really its cool about looking for a house,we were doing that aswell but we put it on hold because we have to fix his house to sell it and the wedding its just a bit much rite now…

Post # 4
Member
8425 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@meij:  You just have to be happy for yourself, to put things in perspective: you’re getting a new house and you’re getting married.  Not much to be sad about.  If you depend on others for your happiness, you will be constantly disappointed.  Congrats on the new house and your upcoming wedding 🙂

Post # 7
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@meij:  I understand why your family wans’t over the moon excited about the engagement. If your wedding is a year and a half+ away, they probably won’t get excited until under the 1 year mark.

As nfar as houses that does suck because that is happening now. I am glad that your friend is excited, and hopefully your family comes around once you are in the process of buying the house and moving in.

Post # 8
Member
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@meij:  Aww sorry about that *hugs* don’t know what to do, my family is often that way, my sister is the center of everyone’s attention. It stinks to feel that way but I think it’s normal. I just focus on FI and I and make the best of it! He is my new family! 🙂

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