- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
A little background.
I’m a 26 y/o and I’ve been with my fiance for nearly 6 years. We got engaged in 2010. We’re getting married in ~ 2 months. He’s been sick with a chronic illness for the past year and a half which has landed him in the hospital a couple of times the past few months (and we’re constantly worrying how he’ll feel on the day of the wedding since he’s been feeling so crummy, to the point where the last time he was in the hospital, we actually talked with his parents about whether we should just screw all the deposits and postpone the wedding)
In my adult life I’ve struggled at times with anxiety. Last year I was diagnosed with OCD in addition to the anxiety (not the handwashy sort of OCD, but more the “I can’t stop worrying about x” sort, constantly checking things, constantly ruminating on things, etc). That’s been rough on me – and consequently on my fiance – because I feel like it’s robbed me of the (somewhat) more carefree person I used to be. and obviously since I care so much about my fiance, watching him struggle with being sick has been incredibly difficult and I’ve been depressed over it.
Combining all of these factors, there’s still a lot left to do for the wedding (writing the ceremony, picking the music, etc). Granted, we got a lot of the big details out of the way long ago (booking all the vendors, etc). We finally sent our invites out ~ 2 weeks ago after deciding we’d try to proceed with the wedding as planned rather than postponing, and we’re just going to keep our fingers crossed that my fiance feels ok that day.
I get frustrated and overwhelmed so easily with everything that’s going on. I cry at the drop of a hat – my parents are visiting this weekend and yesterday my dad was telling me that some friend of his was wanting to know why the hotel was so far away from the ceremony/reception venue (it’s about a half hour drive, because the only hotels near the venue are not ones i would be comfortable putting our guests in, and because a lot of the other hotels are either totally booked for some big event that the city announced AFTER we set our wedding date, or the hotels jacked up their prices ridiculously high because of that event), and wanting to know whether there was going to be a shuttle. I kind of lost it when I heard this, because I spent days agonizing over whether the hotel was too far from the venue and everyone I asked said it wasn’t a problem, and because our invites and wedding website clearly have written on them that there will be a shuttle available and asking people to indicate if they will be taking it. I had a meltdown yesterday because of this, because this was criticism coming from some random friend of my dad’s who’s not even likely to come to the wedding, when I have bigger issues to deal with like my fiance potentially not being well the day of.
Anyway, because I’m so overwhelmed and emotional, I’m totally freaked out that I’ll either have a panic attack at the wedding or I’ll just be a crying mess the whole day and I feel like I’ll ruin everything as a result. Does anyone else just feel really overwhelmed some days with the planning process? Are there any readers out here who have anxiety / OCD / or depression who would be willing to share how they got through their planning?