Feeling overwhelmed over long distance, money, and waiting :(

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
2368 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

 Having a few friends that are full time writers (political writers as well as fiction novelists), the very best thing I can suggest is to get a day job. Once you reach the point of so much freelance work that you can’t do your day job anymore, that’s when you can transition to full time writing. 

If you’re dead set on writing for a living, you don’t necessarily need a job in your field, just something to pay rent and bills. Once you have an income, you can contribute to the house/wedding savings fund. At that point, you won’t feel like you’re financially bringing the relationship down, you’ll be actively contributing. And when the writing takes off, you can do what you love!

Post # 4
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2022

Oh girl, my heart goes out to you! I too find myself separated from my boyfriend by thousands of miles. The little bit of money I make from work has to be saved up for am immigration visa so I can eventually move to his country. I feel your pain, really I do. For me the worst part is the waiting. Ughhh!

Here are a few suggestions:

  • First of all, let your SO handle the ring. You have brought the issue up before and if he’s telling you that he can handle, then just trust him. That’s hard to do, but he may just yet have something up his sleeve. 
  • I do agree with the previous post about a “day job”. Even a little bit of regular income will help you to save. I know it’s not ideal, but Mari had a great plan for ya.
  • Have you considered staying in a long-distance relationship until you are married? It’s not ideal, but why bring the extra burden of rent on yourself? It is very true that distance makes the heart grow fonder. If he really is The One, then you will have the rest of your lives together.
  • Any chance of him moving closer to you?
  • HANG IN THERE!!! Enjoy the time that you have now to spend with your parents. Things will get better and true love always finds a way 😉

As for me, I’m still waiting on my SO to pop the question. But I’m confident that it WILL happen. So I just have to be patient for now.

 

Post # 4
Member
224 posts
Helper bee

SilvanArrow:  Chin up darling. As my SO would say, “tackle one thing at a time”. Make plans as to what takes priority, how long before each can be completed. ANd reward yourself as each is accomplished. This has helped me and is still helping me.

Post # 5
Member
523 posts
Busy bee

I agree with MariContrary that you should try transitioning into writing fulltime. My creative writing teacher in college is an author with several published books but he still is teaching several classes to supplement his income.

I’d suggest taking on a second job to start getting some money of your own.

I’m the same age as you and my SO and I’ve been doing LD for two years of our 4 year relationship (I see him once every 4 months!!) and we’re continuing for the next two years definitely 🙁 so I completely feel your pain and frustration!!

As for the writing thing have you thought about trying to see if there is a “Writing group” maybe at your local library or in the community? A group that you can bounce ideas off of or who might help you make inroads? If you worked at the local community college teaching classes or something maybe you could mingle with the English department and see if they know people? It would also help with the money issue! I’m just throwing ideas out there lol, hopefully one might help you 🙂

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