- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
Today marks the 18 month hurdle of breast cancer recovery, and i have been to the hospital for my 3rd 6 monthly check. I get so nervous every time this appointment comes around. this morning, my Fiance is on nights and he rang me up before i went to work to wish me luck. this is a routine appointment so i told him i didnt need company.
Came back from my appointment and he got up from sleeping, obviously he has slept all day , being on nights, and when he gets up his body is in morning mode, so he is not too chatty, but i had only been home 5 minutes when he got up, and i made him a coffee and sat (probably childishy) waiting for that question. you know the one…..How did it go at the hospital? well it never came and he just sat there miserable, tired and complaining that he had toothache! i asked him if he wanted asprin…..no thanks…….what would you like for dinner?……..nothing thanks i am not in the mood for eating.
i asked whats wrong you look really miserable? to that he snapped my head off! WHAT DO YOU THINK’S WRONG, I DONT FEEL LIKE TALKING COS I HAVE GOT TOOTHACHE! IS THAT OK WITH YOU???????
No it wasnt particularly OK with me as a matter of fact! anyway at 8 o clock he left the house to go to work, and just said bye, see you tommorrow, STILL didnt ask how it went at the hospital.
In my head i made all kinds of excuses why he might have forgotten to ask. he was tired, he didnt feel well, he didnt feel like he COULD ask after snapping my head off…….but to be honest…..i am GUTTED!
there is NO excuse. i went out of my way to try and make him feel better, offering to fetch asprin, asking him what he wanted for dinner, how could he forget i had been to the hospital? and worse still, if he DIDN’T forget and still didnt ask?
What would you bee’s have done/said?
I’ll tell you what i did!
when i knew he would be at work, i text his mobile, and said ‘Hi Babe, just wondering how you are feeling?’
to which he replied……’not too bad now thanks’
then i threw another text at him……”well I thought i would ask how YOU are, and thanks for asking how i got on today!’
he replied……’how did you get on?’
and what about this for a pile of shit……he told me
”i didnt ask you earlier because i thought if there WAS a problem, you would have told me anyway!!!”
that was 3 hours ago and i didnt reply…..nor will i tomorrow.
Am i making a mountain out of a mole-hill, or was that REALLY insensitive of him?
i mean this wasnt a broken finger, it was breast cancer. he was marvellous when i was first diagnosed, but now i am 18 months out, he thinks its all over, and hopefully it is, but emotionally its far from over, for me at least.
I am not trying to harp on about Breast cancer, but i think it slightly top trumps toothache. but because its HIM with the toothache, its much worse than anything i have been through……..its right up there with man-flu!