(Closed) Feeling pushy…

posted 5 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’m confused, are you already married? If so I can see how it would be a little strange from his perspective that you want an engagement ring. You could try explaining that you like the style of a “set” or “stacked rings” and that you want something that will last forever. CZ and sterling silver is nice for a while but won’t hold up to years of wear and tear. Ultimately it’s what YOU have to wear so it should be something YOU like.

Post # 4
Member
2743 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Disney

I felt like this when we purchased my first stone (which had a fracture). I arranged for a cutter to bring down a stone for him to purchase, a very rare sapphire. Note that this cutter is very good, and this fracture situation wasnt known till a master gemologist magnified the stone 1000 times. The stone despite this fracture is actually still worth 2-3 times what we paid and can be set in a different setting just not the one for my ering due to the tension. I felt it was forcing because of the time frame, and fiance at first wanted to pick the stone on his own. He then realised quickly that color of gemstones is very different stone to stone and that its something that is very personal. He also realised the place we were looking at previously was going to hose him on costs, and he didnt know where else to look. I knew quickly crap from quality and the tricks of the trade and where to get deals. In the end the second stone we chose I picked as well so I no longer felt pressuring. I especially felt this way  when he arranged to have the first stone set within 8 weeks of purchase, and then he got antsy when they took longer than anticipated to set the second stone. He was just as eager to get the ring in :). So dont feel bad men dont sign themselves up for payment plans if they’re not eager to get it done.

Post # 6
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I feel like I was a little pushy. We’ve been dating almost 10 years, by then you should know if you want to spend the rest of your life with me!

Post # 7
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I pushed my previous fiancee in to buying me a ring, and by ‘buying me a ring’ I meant that I bought it myself, but I digress.

 

Clearly in that situation, I pushed him and shouldn’t have, because he obviously wasn’t ready, nor was I really in love with him. However, in your case, since you’re alreday married, I don’t think you are being ‘pushy’ guys need to be nudged sometimes, and clearly they don’t spend as much time thinking about the ring as we do!

Post # 8
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

man need little bit pushing, it is natural and also he says he wants to. So dont feel guilty about it and enjoy

Post # 9
Member
6360 posts
Bee Keeper

Sounds like he just didn’t know what was involved, not that you’re pushy.

I was lucky in that I didn’t need to be pushy about ring details because the budget and carat size he first propopsed were too big rather than small or non-existant… But, if he would have been oblivious like yours (and surely lots of men) I may have had to approach it similar to you. i’d have been ok with no diamond (I don’t like cz but I do like just a precious metal wedding band) BUT i really would have liked an engagement ring as well (even with a little melee diamond) so I’m sure I would have hinted at that if it seemed necessary.

For me, the traditional gold wedding bands for each of us the most important symbol, but a engagement ring with some kind of diamond in it to sit on the outside of the woman’s wedding band was also somewhat important to me as a symbol. It’s what I always saw growing up as “the” symbol of marriage.

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