(Closed) Feeling really down in the dumps, need encouragement

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

First, big hugs to you.  You sound like you really need it right now.

Is it possible to get counseling, and maybe antidepressants?  I am currently in a major depression cycle myself, and its worse because my loser husband left a week before Christmas, I’m alone where I am, and I am facing major debt for my college degree when I graduate in August, with no job offer yet.  So I definetly can feel exactly where you are.

I know this may cause even more stress to you, which probably isn’t what you want, but is a second job an option, even temporarily, to help you bring in more money and get back on your feet?

 

Post # 4
Member
1165 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Regarding fitness, I cannot recommend weight training enough. It can be done safely at home and you can work around your injury. I started lifting when I had a broken toe, so I was severely limited in other fitness activities but had no problem with weights.

The book I used is called The Body Building Bible for Women, but there are a few good books for female weight training. Between that, a cheap set of free weights, and youtube videos (I used youtube to check form for individual exercises), I was set. Can you check out books from the library? If you can’t afford weights you can even use household items (e.g., water bottles).

You said you don’t want to get another job because you’re maybe moving in the next year and a half, right? I could understand if you were moving in a month, but a year and a half? That sounds ridiculous and self-destructive. Why would you wait that long? I understand it might be hard to find work, but not even trying doesn’t make any sense.

If you could bring in a little more money, plus exercise, I bet you’d feel like a new person.

I can’t help you with the career crisis, just know that you are not alone. Almost every person in their 20s has gone through what you’re experiencing.

Post # 6
Member
1651 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@JoolyBee:  I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way! It’s the absolute worst feeling in the world!

I totally get how you’re feeling (I’m 25 this spring). There are times when I’m completely at peace with my life and the way things are going. . . and then there are times when I feel like a complete failure because I live with my parents, am underemployed (with a similar degree to your’s), and still have some debt to pay off. It’s incredibly tough to stay motivated and take care of myself when I feel like that.

Just do the best that you can. Are there any hobbies that you love doing? If so, schedule in some time every week where you can just focus on doing that. If you’re really good at a craft, like knitting, you can even try selling what you make online to bring in a little extra money (just make a couple things first and then post them online). Have you tried exercising with a friend or your fiance? The social aspect of exercising could be what you need to stay motivated. And trust me, taking care of yourself will help you feel more in control and calm.

As for the job I can’t give you much help there. I’m also underemployed. I love the people I work with, but I hate the work I do because there isn’t enough (I work fast) and it just doesn’t challenge me. I’d love to find another job, but there aren’t many opportunites open to me where I live and my boyfriend has an amazing job here so I can’t ask us to move too far away. My dream is to work in the Editorial department of a Publishing house because I love to read. . . unfortunately, I live more than an hour outside of NYC and taking the train in every day would break the bank too much to make it worthwhile (plus I’d never see boyfriend).

I would recommend that you try to stick it out until you reach the 2 year mark at your current job. If you still hate it then start looking for something else. At least that way you’ll have the extra job experience to show on your resume. And if you don’t find anything else immediately just hold your head up high and know that you are doing the best you can with a tough situation. 

Post # 7
Member
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

Sending hugs your way… I’m so sorry you are feeling like this πŸ™

I can completely sympathize with the underemployed thing. It is really, really, really hard. And I can also understand how frustrating it is. I am currently in a technically part time job (I’m able to work 38-39 hrs a week though) and I don’t make enough to actually live off of either. It’s hard when you know you did all this hard work and it seems like no one, anywhere else, really cares! Or will give you a chance.

It seems like you were trying to find a new career path though! And I’m trying to encourage you to keep it up. My degree was pretty specialized, but I’ve found two other things I think I can also be passionate about, and I’m trying hard to persue those as well. Please keep your chin up. There are plenty of other people out there your age struggling and feeling underemployed and looked over as well! I am one of them, and I know a few of my classmates who are the same. We’ll find our way though. Just think, we have to fight and claw NOW… which could mean we’ll be prepared later in life. THere were those who came out of school and breezed through until the recession, lost their jobs, and had no clue how to fight back because they never had to. We’re taking our hits now, but it might prepare us!

Also, there are a bunch of us on myfitnesspal to help each other stay motivated. It is sooooo hard for me with exercise too! I used to be so active and I never had to worry about metabolism or weight. That has changed over the past two years or so. I found just limiting myself to 1500 calories a day and making myself watch what I eat a little bit has all alone made a difference! I’m sunnyday278 on there too if you want an encouraging buddy πŸ™‚

Post # 8
Member
1640 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@JoolyBee:  I am sorry you are feeling that way. If it helps, I’m 25 and still don’t even have a Bachelors degree (I was dumb after highschool)…I am in my junior year at a state univeristy and go to class with a bunch of 18 year old kids….and I work 2 days a week as an intern and all I do is my ABCs all day filing because nobody gives me REAL work. T_T My FI has a great degree, great job, great upward mobility, insane earnings potential…and my earnings potential is probably one third of his maximum for my whole life.

I can definitely say there has been more than one breakdown over self-worth and regrets over not having done this sooner…and whether I’ve made the right choices. I will have the debt issue when I graduate (and for my career path, I have to go up to a Masters or higher just to be considered worth something).

I think it’s something that happens to everyone at our age. Maybe the abroad thing will give both of you a new perspective and allow you to find your passions. I think it could be a very liberating change of scenery for you. And if you can get in touch with those passions and desires, you could potentially find things within your interests that you could turn into a career.

As for your depression and motivation, I agree with the idea of a counselor; someone who you can talk to freely and who can offer you constructive advice and help you sort out your thoughts. They can also give you direction without judgement, which I feel is important. I also like the idea of hobbies, things to give you a good release and help you center yourself. Everyone needs an outlet. Mine, sadly, is playing Video Games with my FI, lol. Do what works for you.

For the fitness thing, hopefully once you start to mentally see things differently, you will be motivated to make your physical self different (better) too. And take your disappointment in yourself and turn it INTO motivation. There are a lot of good videos/dvds, YouTube videos, websites, and other sources to give you good ideas and keep you motivated/give you short workouts. YOU CAN DO IT!! <3

Post # 11
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Hang in there!

I feel like I am in a similar boat: I am up to my ears in student loan debt, but I graduated almost a year ago, and haven’t found a full time job!  Some college degrees like mine (and it sounds like yours too) are just really tough to find correlating jobs!  I just do what I can…wake up, kiss my fiancee goodbye as he walks out the door to go to work and begin the job search again, day after day!

I also look at all of my friends which are in graduate school, getting their MDs, PhDs, etc. and feel very humbled.  But, it doesn’t matter when I go home, because even though I’m lacking a career, have zero money to spare and a tiny apartment to share with my dog and fiance, we are happy that we have our lives to figure out the rest.

And, you are right, getting some fresh air and exercise DOES always make me feel more motivated, confident, happier and all around more satisfied!

So, keep looking!  It sounds like you have found the partner in life that will love you and support you as you find the right career, and you both find the right place to live and time to move!  Be kind to eachother during this tough time, and support eachother.  In the end, it will all be ok!

And, who says your wealthy friends aren’t going home in envy of you?  I’m sure you have your strengths to brag about too!

Post # 12
Member
1651 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@JoolyBee:  You’ll get through this. Just keep your head up and do the best that you can. πŸ™‚

Post # 13
Member
1640 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@JoolyBee:  You are welcome πŸ˜€ Sorry so late, been busy O_O!

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