Feeling really low about wedding

posted 3 years ago in Recaps
Post # 3
1112 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Hermoine:  *hugs*

Mines in 12 days, so i can’t empathize exactyl.  But i do know what it’s liket o get caught in over thinking about negative things.  It’s a spiral.  You have to do a mental exercixe to clamp down on those thoughts.  Everytime you start to think about something that makes you low, say to yourself something that made you smile!

Post # 4
2912 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@Hermoine:  Hugs to you. I can imagine many of us feel a little down after the wedding, I think it’s totally normal 🙂

Post # 5
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Hermoine:  I have never experienced this, but if you are actually feeling depressed, I think you should go to the doctor.

Post # 6
1175 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Hermoine:  Oh…..hugs.

Try to focus on what you loved about your wedding.  I think we all get down after spending months obsessing on how perfect our day will be.  Me, personally…….I am fairly certain that I will cry……and I have an ugly cry.  Our wedding comes, it is the climax of all the endless hours of planning and consuming.  And as fast as it starts, the day is gone and its over.  I think it is quite normal to be depressed.  However, if you find that you don’t feel better in a reasonable amount of time, seek out the help of a professional.

Focus on the meaning of your wedding, not the fact that you cried.

Post # 7
10883 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009


HUGS!! Many brides experience *some* form of what you’re going through for a variety of different reasons and with a range of intensity. There have been quite a few threads from bees who have experienced post-wedding blues, regrets, sadness, and even depression. Because so many of us grew up dreaming not only of our future marriages and families but also of our future weddings, we feel as if we’ve waited our whole lives (up to that point) for this one special day and that it has to be *perfect* (in our own eyes.) When it isn’t, we can feel some very strong disappointment and even grief.

I am posting from my phone, so I am not able to link to any of those threads; however, you can search for them. Some of the them may be helpful to you. I personally found that the passage of time and the ability to view things from a different perspective were very helpful. Ultimately, you will need to choose to move beyond your disappointment, or you actually will end up missing out on your life *today*, because you are too absorbed in re-playing and analyzing things that you cannot go back and change.

Post # 8
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@Hermoine:  Post Wedding Depression is real.  You just spent months if not years of your life planning for a single day and now that it’s over you keep picking the day apart piece by piece.  Try to let it go.  If your guests had a great time, then you had an awesome wedding.

Here’s a great article from HP about getting over PWBs: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bitchless-bride/five-ways-to-beat-the-aft_b_2932986.html

Also, it seems your feelings are persistent so it may be a good idea to seek help from a trusted friend or family member and if there isn’t one of those around, there is nothing wrong with visiting a counselor a few times to hash out what’s bothering you about your wedding.

Post # 9
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Hermoine:  If it makes you feel better, I think I looked like a doof walking in too, I was happy but I had to carry one of the hoops in my skirt, and I kind of bent over a little doing it and it wasn’t as regal/graceful as I’d have liked. (From my guest pics I can tell.) But I figure it’s only one moment in the day and if the rest was pretty then I can let it go. Just remind yourself… it’s just one moment in a long day of awesomeness.

Post # 10
226 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Ooh we’re date twins! I felt the exact same as you and that is why I went on Wedding Bee since! I read the wedding regrets threads and found out that some brides felt this way after. 

Are you feeling low because you have some wedding regrets, like you wished you did this or did that or are you feeling low because you think you have nothing else to do or look forward to?

Mine was a mixture: some things didn’t go as plan, and I could not comprehend that 6 months of intense planning amounted to the one day that blurred by so fast in my memory. I felt like I blinked and the day was over. It was too unsettling for me that I felt like something was wrong. Also, I’m aware of how bored I am now when I get home. Like there’s a huge vacuum in my evenings and weekends. I’m not the type of person who gets myself busy or is very social.

Now that I know what’s going on in my mind, I know to give myself some new project to look forward too, like focus on my career.

Yes 6-months of intense effort was worth the day that I could barely remember, because I really did have fun planning the wedding, even though I cried and stressed some days. I also learned a little bit about event planning and management. I got to exercise my creativity and learned to pinch money. So I didn’t get to talk to any guests, that’s ok I was told they enjoyed the wedding. I don’t think I’m being lied to becuase I thought that was a nice wedding too from what I can see in the video that I watch everyday. 

Now the last bit I have to deal with is this long time friendship that I might potentially lose because she was being a selfish bridesmaid. 

I cried on the plane ride over to our honeymoon. Even my fiance felt the low too because the last two weeks on him was intense helping me.

We’ve had the same amount of time since our weddings. Do you think you are getting better about it? Being on this website helped me alot. Are there any aspects of your wedding that’s making you sad?

Post # 11
4827 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

@Hermoine:  I was depressed and super obsessive after my wedding too. Don’t be so hard on yourself!!!! I always see brides walk down the aisle with this ridiculous, fake grin plastered on their face so it was probably refreshing to have some real emotions!! There are many worse things than being emotional on the ‘biggest day of your life’!

Post # 12
5087 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

*hugs* to you. 

Post # 16
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

May I often a word of advice? Now that the wedding is over, perhaps you need to brighten up your day by focusing on the future and your future plans? Maybe start to plan for the next big holiday, or even a really great weekend away?. or a really detailed intimate evening at home?

I once planned a dinner at home for my partner. I cooked the meal that we ate on our first date, had flowers on the table that he first gave me. Had a table number with the number of the house that we first lived in etc. He loved it! We even danced in our little kitchen to ‘our song’. 

The wedding is just the beginning of the story…. you just need to start writing the next charter.

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