Post # 1
Need to vent. I think i have post weding depression quite bad, keep crying and feeling really sad in the mornings, feel really silly. The thing is I thought I would be SO relived for the wedding to be over but I’m not. I just keep getting really down and obsessing about how I didn’t keep my composure walking down the ailse and deeply regreting it, like I ruined the wedding or something, I know this is ridiculous but I think maybe my mind is focussing on this to stop me being so overwhelmingly sad that it’s all over. I was so nervous and emotional walking down the ailse, I wish I’d been happy and smiley, it’s making me really unhappy and wondered if anyone else experienced this extreme reaction after their big day : ( P.S Everyone has been telling me it’s the best weding they have ever been too, so why do I feel so low
Post # 3
Mines in 12 days, so i can’t empathize exactyl. But i do know what it’s liket o get caught in over thinking about negative things. It’s a spiral. You have to do a mental exercixe to clamp down on those thoughts. Everytime you start to think about something that makes you low, say to yourself something that made you smile!
Post # 4
@Hermoine: Hugs to you. I can imagine many of us feel a little down after the wedding, I think it’s totally normal 🙂
Post # 5
@Hermoine: I have never experienced this, but if you are actually feeling depressed, I think you should go to the doctor.
Post # 6
Try to focus on what you loved about your wedding. I think we all get down after spending months obsessing on how perfect our day will be. Me, personally…….I am fairly certain that I will cry……and I have an ugly cry. Our wedding comes, it is the climax of all the endless hours of planning and consuming. And as fast as it starts, the day is gone and its over. I think it is quite normal to be depressed. However, if you find that you don’t feel better in a reasonable amount of time, seek out the help of a professional.
Focus on the meaning of your wedding, not the fact that you cried.
Post # 7
HUGS!! Many brides experience *some* form of what you’re going through for a variety of different reasons and with a range of intensity. There have been quite a few threads from bees who have experienced post-wedding blues, regrets, sadness, and even depression. Because so many of us grew up dreaming not only of our future marriages and families but also of our future weddings, we feel as if we’ve waited our whole lives (up to that point) for this one special day and that it has to be *perfect* (in our own eyes.) When it isn’t, we can feel some very strong disappointment and even grief.
I am posting from my phone, so I am not able to link to any of those threads; however, you can search for them. Some of the them may be helpful to you. I personally found that the passage of time and the ability to view things from a different perspective were very helpful. Ultimately, you will need to choose to move beyond your disappointment, or you actually will end up missing out on your life *today*, because you are too absorbed in re-playing and analyzing things that you cannot go back and change.
Post # 8
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@Hermoine: Post Wedding Depression is real. You just spent months if not years of your life planning for a single day and now that it’s over you keep picking the day apart piece by piece. Try to let it go. If your guests had a great time, then you had an awesome wedding.
Here’s a great article from HP about getting over PWBs: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bitchless-bride/five-ways-to-beat-the-aft_b_2932986.html
Also, it seems your feelings are persistent so it may be a good idea to seek help from a trusted friend or family member and if there isn’t one of those around, there is nothing wrong with visiting a counselor a few times to hash out what’s bothering you about your wedding.
Post # 9
@Hermoine: If it makes you feel better, I think I looked like a doof walking in too, I was happy but I had to carry one of the hoops in my skirt, and I kind of bent over a little doing it and it wasn’t as regal/graceful as I’d have liked. (From my guest pics I can tell.) But I figure it’s only one moment in the day and if the rest was pretty then I can let it go. Just remind yourself… it’s just one moment in a long day of awesomeness.
Post # 10
Ooh we’re date twins! I felt the exact same as you and that is why I went on Wedding Bee since! I read the wedding regrets threads and found out that some brides felt this way after.
Are you feeling low because you have some wedding regrets, like you wished you did this or did that or are you feeling low because you think you have nothing else to do or look forward to?
Mine was a mixture: some things didn’t go as plan, and I could not comprehend that 6 months of intense planning amounted to the one day that blurred by so fast in my memory. I felt like I blinked and the day was over. It was too unsettling for me that I felt like something was wrong. Also, I’m aware of how bored I am now when I get home. Like there’s a huge vacuum in my evenings and weekends. I’m not the type of person who gets myself busy or is very social.
Now that I know what’s going on in my mind, I know to give myself some new project to look forward too, like focus on my career.
Yes 6-months of intense effort was worth the day that I could barely remember, because I really did have fun planning the wedding, even though I cried and stressed some days. I also learned a little bit about event planning and management. I got to exercise my creativity and learned to pinch money. So I didn’t get to talk to any guests, that’s ok I was told they enjoyed the wedding. I don’t think I’m being lied to becuase I thought that was a nice wedding too from what I can see in the video that I watch everyday.
Now the last bit I have to deal with is this long time friendship that I might potentially lose because she was being a selfish bridesmaid.
I cried on the plane ride over to our honeymoon. Even my fiance felt the low too because the last two weeks on him was intense helping me.
We’ve had the same amount of time since our weddings. Do you think you are getting better about it? Being on this website helped me alot. Are there any aspects of your wedding that’s making you sad?
Post # 11
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
@Hermoine: I was depressed and super obsessive after my wedding too. Don’t be so hard on yourself!!!! I always see brides walk down the aisle with this ridiculous, fake grin plastered on their face so it was probably refreshing to have some real emotions!! There are many worse things than being emotional on the ‘biggest day of your life’!
Post # 13
@PetalFace: I’m not sure if I’m geting better but I’m understnading it more, I thought I was going a bit mad but see that lots of other brides on here felt the same and that I’m not alone. I don’t feel as if there is a void exactly as I have plenty of hobbies but I just regret that ailse walk, I regret that I wasn’t happy and calm. I don’t remember hearing the beautiful music that we spents weeks deciding on, I don’t remember seeing my husbands face as I walked down. I was just a shaky emotional mess.
However I’m starting to realise that I’m being so unfair on myself, I am an emotional person at the end of the day, the wedding was VERY stressful to plan and the moment I walked round the corner it was like it all hit me and also I was really emotional about marrying my best friend, it was so overwhelming and now I think about it there was no way I couldn’t have cried. The rest of the day and whole weekend actually was so beautiful. I’m just feeling really lost, you spend 2 years imagining and feeling the magic of your forthcoming big day and then it’s gone in a flash, it is unsettling I agree, it goes SO fast and alot i only remember because of the photos.
My magical feeling kept going over the honeymoon and that was the hardest coming back form there. One of the other hard things is that my husband doesn’t want to talk about it anymore, when I try and remember nice things about the day he just seems un interested now, like its over and done lets move onto something else, I think that’s what I’m finding the hardest. It sounds over the top but it’s like when someone dies and everyone stops talking about them. I am struggling esp in the mornings but from what I’ve read and how Im sorting things through in my head I think I will get better with time, it may take a while, it’s very hard and I didn’t expect it at all I expected to be relieved.
I’m sorry about your bridesmaid, that’s hard, I had so many fallouts during wedding planning and they are devastating and once the wedding is over they almost hurt more. I hope you can sort it out or at least feel better about it with time BiG HUGS
Post # 14
@Bebealways: Yes you are right, it’s funny though isn’t it that that moment seems to be the most importnat when really, it’s the lead up, the party afterwards and everything else and most importantly getting married! I think I’ve been loosing sight of whats important, nothing is perfect and if it was it wouldn’t be real. I think I might be coming out of it as I’m starting to see how silly and nick picking I’ve been when the rest of the day/weekend was so stunning. I think my emothions got so hyped up before the day that it’s natural to feel confused when it’s suddenly over
Post # 15
@lealorali: Thankyou, I am starting to see this, I have been so, so hard on myself when I worked so hard to have a beautiful wedding I really don’t deserve to feel like this I deserve to feel proud and happy
Post # 16
May I often a word of advice? Now that the wedding is over, perhaps you need to brighten up your day by focusing on the future and your future plans? Maybe start to plan for the next big holiday, or even a really great weekend away?. or a really detailed intimate evening at home?
I once planned a dinner at home for my partner. I cooked the meal that we ate on our first date, had flowers on the table that he first gave me. Had a table number with the number of the house that we first lived in etc. He loved it! We even danced in our little kitchen to ‘our song’.
The wedding is just the beginning of the story…. you just need to start writing the next charter.