Post # 1
My BIL has generously offered to shout me and my sister flights overseas to visit my other sister. It’s a surprise for her. My local sister and I discussed dates, we were in agreement with these particular dates, which took a lot of hassle for me to arrange cover at work.
Local Sister wants to take her husband. I was a little put out by that, but she was going to take him regardless of how I felt anyway.
The dates we picked don’t suit him, so she suggested I arrange alternative dates off (not possible), or go alone. She doesn’t want to exclude me or her husband (who never should have been part of the plan anyway), but by going with he wants, she IS excluding me. I told her they should just go and I won’t.
I’m shattered! What was supposed to be sister time has turned into a big mess, all because she wants to plan around what her husband wants! It’s only a 4 day trip, so they would cope without each other for such a short amount of time.
I could go alone for 2 and a bit days, I don’t want to miss such a great opportunity, but at the same time, it’s causing me a great deal of stress (this came up with very short notice). I don’t really know what to do 🙁
i guess I’m just looking for support. Am I justified being upset with my sister?
Post # 3
Have you said anything to her? I agree that she’s not being considerate, but if you don’t tell her how you’re feeling than you really lose the right to be upset.
Post # 4
I think so, yes. It sounded like it was a sister trip planned and she is choosing instead to go with her guy, and that hurts. I have two sisters, and my one sister has done this to me, chosen her guy over me in certain circumstances, and it really sucks.
You have every right to be upset, can you talk to her about it?
Post # 5
@Deejayelle: I suggest you just go without her on the dates you originally booked. You can’t change the date, end of story, no negotiating. She can go with you or go at a different time with her husband, it’s up to her. Enjoy your time with your overseas sister, whatever happens.
Post # 6
I have said to her that if he really needs to be back by a certain time, maybe he should travel back alone but apparently that’s not an option (apparently it’s more acceptable for me to go alone). I did this flight last year alone and it sucked. So us travelling together would have been really good.
I did say to her that I felt really let down – that we had discussed the dates etc and what changed. She said that the flights were the issue. The flights were actually doable, I just don’t think they fitted in with what her husband wanted.
I just feel really frustrated that she can’t leave her husband behind for a few days!
Post # 7
I think once a person is above the age of 21 – and I’m being generous there, I really think 18 – unless they have some serious medical condition, they should be able to travel anywhere on their own.
I travelled to, and spent 3 months, in Italy on my own when I was 16. I’ve also done the 26 hour flight to Australia from the UK, and back, on my own about 9 times. Time before last, I left my husband for 3 months when I went back to Australia to see my mother.
Sorry to say, but your sister is being childish and pathetic. I’d go on the dates that you had originally arranged. If she can’t cope without her husband for a few days, it really isn’t your problem and your plans shouldn’t suffer because of it.
Post # 8
The other issues aside, I don’t think traveling on your own should be a big deal for either you OR your BIL unless there is some sort of safety issue (e.g., a woman traveling alone in Saudi Arabia).
Post # 9
I have 2 sisters and I would be really annoyed and hurt if one of them essentially cancelled a planned sister trip bc she couldn’t spend 4 days without her husband. Pathetic.