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Marinara - I am so sorry for you. It is sad that your mom isn't invested in your wedding prepartion. ((((Hugs)))).
Is there any way you can express to her, gently, how you feel? It might help to talk to her. You never know.
Oh no, big hugs!! It's okay, it's the "icing on the cake" sometimes that sets us off. Take a deep breath and make a to-do list.
I'm in a similar boat in that I am doing everything, the Mister is busy with work, my mom runs hot-and-cold and our families can't help financially. I find the to-do list helps me focus and helps me cross off the lofty dreams that I just can't do for one reason or another.
So the bathroom basket is nice but is it needed? Or can it wait a little longer on the priority list?
It's all going to work out. Talk to your FI about helping a bit more on weekends or on his lunch break. I'm sure he will be happy to help.
Hang in there!
I am sorry to hear that you have been so alone in your planning. Have you told your mom how her actions are making you feel? Even if she does not change her behavior, it might help you to let her know that her lack of participation is really hurting you. As for help, do you have any siblings, cousins, or good friends who can help you do stuff? Like attend appointments with you, shop for things, do DIY projects. I have a married friend who has been a HUGE help to me because she loved planning her wedding so much she wanted to relive it by helping me. I know it is hard, but try not to let this all get you down. :)
Aw, you poor thing, that must hurt. I agree with the others in that it might be good to talk to her.
Do you have any close friends nearby who could help you take care of some of the planning? I'm in a similar situation myself in that my friends and family aren't anywhere near us so will be doing everything with just my FI's help but being able to email pix to people to bounce ideas off helps somewhat.
But you know, you can only do what you can do so don't kill yourself trying to keep everyone else happy. Hope you feel better soon 
Im going through the same bathroom basket problem with my mom too!!!!!! She hates weddings and wasnt involved in my sisters or mine! Since the beginning she told me to never speak to her about anything wedding related which sucks because she's my mom and I want to share this experience with her. When I went to try dresses on I had to drag her with me and she wasnt even excited, then last night when I went for my fitting she said 'its nice but its not like WOW or anything'. Are you serious?! I asked her months ago to do the bathroom basket because she's good at that kind of stuff but I've spoke to her a ton of times after that but had never mentioned it. I have 2 daughers and when they get married I will definately be there for them 100%, i've learned so much from all of this. Good luck to you hope she comes through
aw I'm sorry you aren't feeling supported in your wedding planning! I feel that way sometimes and it always helps to make a post here or just ask for ideas from the hive. This community has been super helpful to me in planning without feeling alone.
It sounds like I wrote part of your post. I can truly feel your pain as I was going through something very similar and I felt so alone, like everyone close to me (other than FI) was unreliable and selfish, it cut me to the core. We have since decided to elope because quite frankly, why should we plan a wedding for a bunch of people that don't care? This way we get to do our own thing and save a ton of money. :) I feel really sad for you, especially about your Mother. Is there any particular reason that she wouldn't want you to get married? I think she should put her differences aside with your Father for a cuple of days, it's the right thing to do. I hope things get better and people become more involved and enthisiastic.
I feel for you. Basically I am the only person planning anything. My mother is not coming to my wedding. Only one BM is really showing any interest in details so I can understand how it can get very lonely. If it wasnt for the fact that I'm locked into all this money I think I would elope too at this point...it goes back and forth.
Thank you for all the replies, you guys really made me feel better! At least a little less alone :) I talked to FI when he got home from a business trip last night, and we made a long list of stuff he is going to take on. Some of you suggested that I talk to my mother about my feelings. That is a really good suggestion and I thought about it, but I just know my mom & she is not emotionally mature and those sorts of conversations never go well. I feel like the "mom" in the relationship most of the time. At this point I think I'm just going to let her be as involved (or not involved) as she wants to be, and not ask her to do anything.
But thank you all for your support. I'm sorry to hear that so many of you feel the same way I do. Weddings are SO much work, and there are so many emotions from SO many different people involved!
You know how some people hate the holidays? Well I feel like weddings are to life what holidays are to the year. They have all the fighting, intensity, joy, pain, loneliness, depression, togetherness and fleetingness of holidays -- but exponentially so!
Thanks again for all the kind words
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Hi Bees. I am feeling so sad this morning. I got a text from my Mom about a small wedding thing, and for some reason, it just set off an emotional flood gate of stuff that has been building for months & months.
This whole wedding-planning process has so far been something I'm doing mostly on my own. FI works 70 hours per week and has a long commute, so although he wants to be more involved, the blood sweat and tears have been mine.
Then there are the families.
His family lives on the other side of the country, so there is not much they really can do to help, I understand that. The thing is, though, they have not even offered to help with the things they could possibly help with. Also, they can't afford to contribute financially and I do totally understand that. It just would have meant so much to hear something like "From this distance there might not be much we can do, but if there is anything, please let me know!" It would have made all the difference for me. Their involvement thus far has really just been more work for me -- I put lots of effort into emails about all the stuff we're planning. I know they appreciate them, but it ends up being one more thing I'm taking on to please everyone.
And then there is my Mom. Throughout the process she has been hot & cold. Sometimes very nice, other times... not so much. She has told me that she doesn't want to help with big projects (like DIY flowers). The thing is, I never ASKED her to help, she just volunteered that she didn't want to, and it was weirdly hurtful. She told me that she will not attend the rehearsal & rehearsal dinner because she doesn't want to see my Dad two days in a row.
But the thing that just set off this sadness I'm feeling now happened this morning. Yesterday I asked her if she would take on a couple small things, one of them was getting the stuff for our SMALL bathroom baskets. I told her I wasn't picky about what went in them. She agreed... then this morning she texted me: I changed my mind about the stuff for the bathroom.
It was the very first thing I saw when I woke up. It just hurt my feelings so much. We're talking about $15 and 15 minutes that could be spent anytime over the next 4 months. I just wanted to have one less thing to worry about. It just hurts my feelings so much that she doesn't want to do it, and that she just texted me all abruptly like that. It really just brought home a lot of the feelings I've been pushing down for the past 8 months.
It just made me feel so sad and alone.
So how can I be feeling this way over a bathroom basket??!!! :(