(Closed) Feeling sad & alone in planning – long, sorry :(

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Marinara – I am so sorry for you. It is sad that your mom isn’t invested in your wedding prepartion. ((((Hugs)))).

Is there any way you can express to her, gently, how you feel? It might help to talk to her. You never know.

Post # 4
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Oh no, big hugs!!  It’s okay, it’s the “icing on the cake” sometimes that sets us off.  Take a deep breath and make a to-do list. 

I’m in a similar boat in that I am doing everything, the Mister is busy with work, my mom runs hot-and-cold and our families can’t help financially.  I find the to-do list helps me focus and helps me cross off the lofty dreams that I just can’t do for one reason or another.

So the bathroom basket is nice but is it needed?  Or can it wait a little longer on the priority list?

It’s all going to work out.  Talk to your FI about helping a bit more on weekends or on his lunch break.  I’m sure he will be happy to help.

Hang in there!

Post # 5
Member
1816 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I am sorry to hear that you have been so alone in your planning.  Have you told your mom how her actions are making you feel?  Even if she does not change her behavior, it might help you to let her know that her lack of participation is really hurting you.  As for help, do you have any siblings, cousins, or good friends who can help you do stuff?  Like attend appointments with you, shop for things, do DIY projects.  I have a married friend who has been a HUGE help to me because she loved planning her wedding so much she wanted to relive it by helping me.  I know it is hard, but try not to let this all get you down.  ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Aw, you poor thing, that must hurt. I agree with the others in that it might be good to talk to her.

Do you have any close friends nearby who could help you take care of some of the planning? I’m in a similar situation myself in that my friends and family aren’t anywhere near us so will be doing everything with just my FI’s help but being able to email pix to people to bounce ideas off helps somewhat.

But you know, you can only do what you can do so don’t kill yourself trying to keep everyone else happy. Hope you feel better soon Smile

Post # 7
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

(((hugs))) … I hope you feel better!

Post # 8
Member
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Im going through the same bathroom basket problem with my mom too!!!!!! She hates weddings and wasnt involved in my sisters or mine!  Since the beginning she told me to never speak to her about anything wedding related which sucks because she’s my mom and I want to share this experience with her.  When I went to try dresses on I had to drag her with me and she wasnt even excited, then last night when I went for my fitting she said ‘its nice but its not like WOW or anything’.  Are you serious?! I asked her months ago to do the bathroom basket because she’s good at that kind of stuff but I’ve spoke to her a ton of times after that but had never mentioned it.  I have 2 daughers and when they get married I will definately be there for them 100%, i’ve learned so much from all of this.  Good luck to you hope she comes through

Post # 9
Member
640 posts
Busy bee

aw I’m sorry you aren’t feeling supported in your wedding planning! I feel that way sometimes and it always helps to make a post here or just ask for ideas from the hive. This community has been super helpful to me in planning without feeling alone. 

Post # 10
Member
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

It sounds like I wrote part of your post. I can truly feel your pain as I was going through something very similar and I felt so alone, like everyone close to me (other than FI) was unreliable and selfish, it cut me to the core. We have since decided to elope because quite frankly, why should we plan a wedding for a bunch of people that don’t care? This way we get to do our own thing and save a ton of money. ๐Ÿ™‚ I feel really sad for you, especially about your Mother. Is there any particular reason that she wouldn’t want you to get married? I think she should put her differences aside with your Father for a cuple of days, it’s the right thing to do. I hope things get better and people become more involved and enthisiastic.

Post # 11
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I feel for you. Basically I am the only person planning anything. My mother is not coming to my wedding. Only one BM is really showing any interest in details so I can understand how it can get very lonely. If it wasnt for the fact that I’m locked into all this money I think I would elope too at this point…it goes back and forth.

Post # 12
Member
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Lol…I murdered  few words in my last post and now I can’t edit. Oops.

The topic ‘Feeling sad & alone in planning – long, sorry :(’ is closed to new replies.

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