Post # 1
I just feel so sad. I feel like I just don’t want to plan anything anymore in regards to the wedding. At first when we decided to get married, I was so excited and I started making the centerpieces, party favors, bought the dress, the decorations, found the venue, booked the DJ, etc. etc. And while I know the wedding is still a little while’s away, I just feel like ugh…I don’t want to do anyting anymore. I’m done! Plus the other thing that’s making me a little sick, is all the expenses relating to the wedding. Yes, we will have a small wedding (35 ppl max.) and i’m trying to keep it under 10 000 $ but just the thought of having to spend 10 000 $ on one day makes me sick. At first, it didn’t but now it does! I just don’t understand people who are spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on a wedding.
I’m so sick of all the expenses that I’m trying to cut the guests list to no more than 23 ppl including me and the groom. I think if I continue feeling the way I’m feeling now, the guest list is going to be shorter and shorter as the wedding approaches.
Does any other bee feel the same way as I do?
Nobody is helping us pay for this wedding. Actually, since I make alot more money than my fiancé, I’m the one who is paying most of it. He will be responsible for the rings, the alcohol, the suit.
Post # 3
I felt like that for a lot of the time we were engaged. Everyone was super discouraging and I wished so badly that we had eloped. But in the end, when it finally came to the day, everything was so totally worth it! The weather was absolutely perfect, everything was gorgeous, and I married the man I loved! Maybe it is time for you to take a break, just take a week or maybe longer off and enjoy your time being engaged!
Post # 4
@Lauraine: ur just over doing it take a few steps back… it is scary to seethe money add up but you have done soooo much already you need to see it through u will enjoy the day it self just take a step back
Post # 5
@Lauraine: I think you, my friend, are suffering wedding burnout! The only cures are 1) getting married or 2) taking a break from planning. Of course, you’ve still got several months before getting married, so it sounds like the best burnout treatment is taking a break for a while! Give yourself a few weeks of no wedding talk, websites (including this one!), projects, or stressing over your spreadsheets and to-do lists. Focus on other fun things in life, preferably those that make you feel good about yourself and your relationship.
When you’re feeling like thinking about the wedding again, before you do start taking on tasks, read (or re-read) A Practical Wedding to remind you of what’s most important! It will be ok! You’ll come back to it focused, fresh, and with new ideas about how to keep in all in a reasonable budget.
It will be ok!
Post # 6
@Lauraine: I felt this way, and only had 4 months to plan everything. Which was our choice, but still. My best advice is, since you have until May, take one to two weeks off now, and completely ignore and forget anything and everything wedding relateboric the thought of two weeks off or more actually makes you more anxious and upset, then just take a week off. Leave the Bee alone (we’ll wait for you!) don’t watch wedding TV, take all your wedding things at home and put them out of sight. Don’t take or make phone calls, etc. Just lay it all down, get some rest, catch up with friends, FI, a hobby you’ve set aside…
I remember crying to my mommy about this last year, And Im 42 years old! i hit a miserable point and this is what she told me to do. take a week off. It made all the difference! All we wanted was a nice dinner party for 50 (ha) and “oh yeah we’re going to say some wedding vows instead of playing charades” and instead I found myself PLANNING A WEDDING! And it does get overwhelming.
best of luck to you and check back in with us! ((Hugs))
Post # 7
Awwww. you bees are all so nice and sweet! Thank you so much for your posts and suggestions. You are all so right. I need to take a darn break from the wedding plans and yes I know deep down in my heart that if I don’t stick to my original plan, you know, all the people I really thought of in the beginning that I really wanted to be at our wedding, the dj, the decorations, and all, I will probably regret it. So, I am disconnecting from the wedding plans as of tonight and taking a much needed break so that I will enjoy the “day” when it gets here!
Whenever I tell fiancé that I’m changing my mind on this part or that part of the wedding, he seems a litte disappointed and tells me I’ve already invested too much in it not to go along with the original plan. I feel that whereas in the beginning he’s the one that wasn’t too much in the planning, he’s getting more and more into it now that I seem to be a little tired of it all. I could not believe it this weekend when he asked to see the catalogue for the suits and tuxs. Really! Its been on the table for the last five weeks lol.
ok, bye everybody.
Post # 8
@Lauraine: That’s good! Get him more involved in the wedding planning and that will help to ease the burden on you. Just because you’re paying for most of it that doesn’t mean that he can’t help make decisions and plan!
Post # 9
I’ve been pretty good since last night when I posted about my feelings and the planning and the wedding and, and, and. First of all, I took a container I had in the bedroom in which I was supposed to put things in it related to the wedding that was already in another container. I also had a smaller container I was planning on putting things in. Well, I took both containers and placed them in the closet so I don’t have to see them all the time. I figure when I will feel better and when I will have more energy, I will get to that project.
The thing is though, I just can’t seem to stay away from this web site lol. Oh well! At least I’m not on it during weekends cuz I’m always up at the lake on wknds and there is no computer up there, thank the Lord heehee.
Post # 10
@Lauraine: awwww don’t give up. I just had to do the same thing in under 6 months. we are paying 10,000 for our wedding on just one income. We are having 70 guest. It’s very difficult to plan with so little money and to have to do it all yourself. I hope you get back into the swing of things and enjoy your planning.
Post # 11
- Wedding: June 2014 - EDD Aug '15
I feel the same way sometimes. Only 37 guests on our list but somehow the costs are just adding up and up and for just ONE day!? I feel sick too. Sometimes I feel the whole wedding industry is a mad farce :/ Yet my FI disagrees and says ‘it’s fine, it’s the only wedding we’ll ever have’.
Post # 12
I too am starting to believe the wedding industry is a big farce. I can’t believe the prices they are charging for this or that. I’ve told several friends that if i had to open a business it would be related to weddings.
My FI and I could have eloped but when I started looking into that possibility, I also felt it would be way too expensive to go away for a week. So, I stuck with my idea of having a small cerremony and a small reception in an italiam restaurant, thinking it would be nice to have my friends and one member of my family present (both my parents have passed away and only one brother can make it to the ceremony. He lives at the other end of the country and already it will be very expensive for him to come to my wedding). But in all honesty, although I know it will be nice and all to have the ceremony and reception, I still think if I had not invested so much into this wedding, all I would do is go to city hall get married and then go to a nice restaurant with my husband to be and two witnesses.