Feeling sad/sentimental about losing maiden name

posted 2 years ago in Names
Post # 2
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2014

It’s such a big change, I can definitely relate! Before the wedding, I would have told you that I was definitely going to take my husband’s name. However, when I started filling out the paperwork, I realized I didn’t feel comfortable losing my maiden name just like that. Even though as a child, I sometimes would get made fun of for my last name, I’ve had it for 27 years, my degrees are in that name, and I felt like I would be losing a part of me. At the same time, i want to make sure that I have the same name as my children. Right now I am considering hypenation or doing two last names, but I haven’t decided for sure yet.

 

Would it be an option for you to keep your maiden name professionally and change it to his name legally? Or keep your maiden name legally and use Mrs. Newlastname socially? 

Post # 3
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

It was hard for me but I moved my maiden tiny middle name. I use both professionally, as in Susan Smith Jones. 

Post # 4
Member
41 posts
Newbee

I know how you feel. It is like losing a friend. when I get tag on Facebook I think wow I wont be seeing that on my feeds after I’m married. 

Ive never had a middle name I’m not keeping my maiden name in my name anywhere. 

you have so many ways you could be called once married if people call you by your first and his last it will be like your a whole other person

Post # 6
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Mode:  I’ve been married for 2 months & still haven’t gone through the whole name-change officially. I’ve been trying it out at work using First Maiden Married in my signature line on emails. I still forget and answer the phone First Maiden (awkward pause) Married.

I promised that I would go through the name change before our 1 year anniversary. Hopefully I’ll be ready for it by then!

Post # 8
Member
1400 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I didn’t like my maiden name when I was a teenager, but now I love it, and I didn’t want to just drop it. And even though my middle name is super common, and not a family name or anything, I didn’t want to drop it because I like the flow!

So I’m taking my maiden name as a second middle name. On the marriage license, under new name, both are listed in the middle name. For me this is perfect. Plus it helps that they’re short, together they’re as long as my new last name, and they start with the same letter, so I’m still Ladyamalthea M. Lastname, just the last name has changed and the initial has a double meaning.

Post # 9
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Mode:  Texas is different. You have to have your maiden name on your marriage license. Then the marriage license is proof that you have married Mr. Married, so that you can change your name without court fees to Mrs. Married.

Post # 11
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Mode:  I, too, am going through a weird feeling of losing my name. I definitely do not want a hyphen though. I think my ultimate decision will be to keep all names: First Middle Maiden Last

 

I have zero idea if this will affect paperwork in any way, but for some strange reason I feel like it is a slap in my parents face for getting rid of the name they gave me! Plus, I am a huge daddy’s girl and I really want to keep his last name, but I also love my current middle name…so I guess I’ll keep them all!

Post # 13
Member
1346 posts
Bumble bee

My maiden name happened to be a woman’s typical f first name, and it was VERY difficult to live with, but my legal signature is now First name- maiden name- DH’s name, which I LOVE. 

Because people would often think I didn’t know my first name from my last name, I wound up with a series of alternative identities which was not a problem until 9/11. Then I began to be accused of using aliases!

Just be VERY sure which names you wish to use, and always use EXACTLY the same form every single time if you need to sign legal documents.

Post # 14
Member
957 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I love my madien name, it’s italian and I always get comments from people. I’m from UK so italian surnames aren’t so common so people always ask me about it. someone asked me about it the other day and I had a bit of a moment ‘no-one is ever going to ask me that again!’. my grandad is italian and it feels like I’m losing a connection with my family, FI’s surname is pretty cool though but I’ll miss my name so much. 

Post # 15
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Before the wedding, I was feeling very sad about losing my maiden name. I had already decided that I was going to make it into a middle name, but I was still sad. Husband and I got into some serious discussions about it, which often ended up with me crying. Now that we are actually married…I am more OK with it. Though I can’t apply for the wedding certificate for another 5 weeks or so, and I can’t change anything without the wedding certificate. I suspect when I start the paperwork for that, I may be a little sad again. But I think I’ll get used to it. I think I’m just literally grieving the loss of my maiden name. It’s not particularly unique or anything, but I still love it.

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