Feeling Selfish and need help getting over it.

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
131 posts
Blushing bee

@CanadianBride456:  It’s a good thing to recognize that you want her to have her special day. I don’t think it makes you selfish because of that. I would be worried too and maybe address some of the concern with her. It isn’t that you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. You just want to make sure people aren’t burned out – for their sake, of course. Have you discussed it with your FI? Or maybe even ask your family members or the people who will attend 2-3 of the events. How would they feel about it?

Post # 4
632 posts
Busy bee

@CanadianBride456:  Hmmm. I don’t necessarily think it’s selfish, I think it all depends what your cousin wants. She could be super easy going and be happy that she doesn’t need to do a separate BBQ. If I was in your shoes, I’d just call her up or take her out to lunch and be super honest about it – just tell her you jumped to these conclusions because you were excited about them, but that you should have asked her first. Talk about her about the logistics of having the weddings so close (like, what’s the best way to plan things to avoid family burnout for both your events so they’re both special? What would she prefer? etc etc) and just try to work out what would make you both happy instead of guessing what the other one wants.

Post # 6
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I take each wedding individually. Yours could be the only one in a year and if it’s not good ita not good. It could also be the best in a line up of 4 in a matter of months!! People will enjoy your wedding based on how you put it together. Yeah they might get burnt out on going to all the events 3 weekends in a row, but their enjoyment will come from you getting married and your planning!

Post # 7
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Why would she end up with the same dress? There are millions of dresses out there… you are probably more likely to be hit by lightening…. 


People are going to have a blast and your wedding too! 

Post # 8
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

@CanadianBride456:  Seriously, I’d love to part of your family! I think it would be fun going to two weddings and an awesome BBQ in between. People won’t be burned out–it’ll just be a big celebration time. 

And I wouldn’t give another thought to the dress–as Makemeamrs pointed out, there are a zillion out there. Even if they are similar styles, people aren’t going to notice.

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