Post # 1
Hey Bees. I know what I’m feeling now it totally and absolutely selfish and I need all you lovely ladies (and any men that may be out there) to talk some sense into me. So heres the story:
FH and I have been engaged over a year, and are getting married in about 7 months from now. For every person that gets married in my extended family (i.e. cousins) there is a large BBQ with live music and a ton of people. Over Christmas my first cousin A got engaged to her long time bf, and I was so excited her! I even said that if she got married close to our date that we can share the BBQ so that a band doesn’t need to be paid for twice, and tents don’t need to be set up twice, etc. And then she said that they’re getting married 2 weeks before us which works out well because then we have the BBQ the weekend in between us. At first I was so excited about this! A bigger BBQ with more family and friends should make for an even better time! But now here I am, starting to feel like a selfish little brat. One weekend in Cousin A’s wedding, the next the BBQ and the next our wedding. I’m worried that our common family is going to be burned out from weddings and family and not have a good of a time.
I’m also worried that we’ll end up with the same dress. I messaged her and told her my dress, so now I’m just crossing my fingers until she responds! I also told her when my bridal shower is so hopefully she isn’t planning for the same weekend too. I should also mention that we’re getting married in the same church.
So Bees, I need to hear how I’m being crazy and selfish and that she deserves her day just as much (and maybe more!) than me.
Post # 3
@CanadianBride456: It’s a good thing to recognize that you want her to have her special day. I don’t think it makes you selfish because of that. I would be worried too and maybe address some of the concern with her. It isn’t that you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. You just want to make sure people aren’t burned out – for their sake, of course. Have you discussed it with your FI? Or maybe even ask your family members or the people who will attend 2-3 of the events. How would they feel about it?
Post # 4
@CanadianBride456: Hmmm. I don’t necessarily think it’s selfish, I think it all depends what your cousin wants. She could be super easy going and be happy that she doesn’t need to do a separate BBQ. If I was in your shoes, I’d just call her up or take her out to lunch and be super honest about it – just tell her you jumped to these conclusions because you were excited about them, but that you should have asked her first. Talk about her about the logistics of having the weddings so close (like, what’s the best way to plan things to avoid family burnout for both your events so they’re both special? What would she prefer? etc etc) and just try to work out what would make you both happy instead of guessing what the other one wants.
Post # 5
@Kazza: Thanks for your responses bees! They’ve made me feel a bit better. I guess why I’m feeling selfish is that I’m worried about my wedding. I’m worried people won’t have a good time at because they’ll be “sick of weddings” so to speak. I don’t really want to mention this to Cousin A because I don’t want to make her feel bad about setting her date so close to mine. There is a reason why she chose that specific date.
Thanks again for your responses! This is why I love the Bee!
Post # 6
I take each wedding individually. Yours could be the only one in a year and if it’s not good ita not good. It could also be the best in a line up of 4 in a matter of months!! People will enjoy your wedding based on how you put it together. Yeah they might get burnt out on going to all the events 3 weekends in a row, but their enjoyment will come from you getting married and your planning!
Post # 7
Why would she end up with the same dress? There are millions of dresses out there… you are probably more likely to be hit by lightening….
People are going to have a blast and your wedding too!
Post # 8
@CanadianBride456: Seriously, I’d love to part of your family! I think it would be fun going to two weddings and an awesome BBQ in between. People won’t be burned out–it’ll just be a big celebration time.
And I wouldn’t give another thought to the dress–as Makemeamrs pointed out, there are a zillion out there. Even if they are similar styles, people aren’t going to notice.