- 8 years ago
- Wedding: December 2010
You might find this post a bit odd, but I am a feeling a bit shy about asking my bridesmaids and flowergirl to be in my bridal party. I am also a little unsure about who to ask.
I want to ask my closer friend from highschool. I was not in her wedding, but she is my closest friend now and from highschool. She has always been there for me, support wise. I no longer talk to many of my college friends, and aren’t close with them anymore. I actually want to ask her to be my Matron of Honor(you call someone that if they are married right?)…but since I am having a lower key, smaller wedding, I don’t plan on having a bridal shower really or a bachelorette party…..so I don’t think the responsibility for that would really fall on her, although I would want her to say a toast.
I also know I am going to ask my fiance’s little sister. We get along really well. I really enjoy her. She will be 14 and a half, so I was almost confused, if I was supposed to ask her to be a jr bridesmaid or not. I think I would rather ask her to be a regular bridesmaid. My fiance’s mother already told me that when I order my dress, she wanted to come along.
My fiance will be asking his younger brother to be the Best Man, and his little brother, age 11, to be a jr groomsmen(but we won’t call it that, I think).
Here is where I am unsure to ask:
I am tempted to also ask my other highschool friend, who I am closer to and still in touch with. It was always the three of us our senior year, and she also only still talks to me and my other friend. She lives far, but the rehearsal isn’t until that evening, so I am hoping she can fly up earlier in the day to make it. Problem is, she might be in another wedding that following July (we are getting married December) I dont know if she would want to be another bridesmaid. Since I don’t talk to college people anymore…..and don’t have a whole lot of friends in my area where I work…I think it would mean a lot to have the two of them(my highschool friends) in my wedding. However, none of us were in eachother’s weddings….they might think it is weird that I ask.
And here’s another one:
I have two older sisters, unmarried….they are very cynical about marriage, and weren’t always supportive of my relationship. However, my fiance and I worked things out(as you can see…we’re engaged!) In fact, I even remember one saying a long, long time ago “I don’t have to be in your wedding, do I?” That was a long time ago. But since I’ve been engaged, my sister said she would want to be in it if my other sister was a bridesmaid and she would have to lose weight first(her words).
Well, my oldest sister…I feel like our relationship has changed a lot in the past year or so. We used to be really close, but nowadays she is not that nice to me….bitter that I don’t visit as often (I used to come home out of loneliness every weekend from the town I work in) and we argue a lot. I think she thinks fiance is immature (As I said, we have worked thingsout and he has grown up a bit, and stopped being confused, etc.) We aren’t as close as we used to be….etc. So I for awhile I wasn’t even considering asking either sister to be in my wedding. I didn’t have a feeling that either wanted to be in it. I really want supportive people in the wedding with me(as far as bridesmaids). My parents started saying to me, “You aren’t going to ask your sisters?” So now I don’t know what to do about my sisters. I do realize that you should include your sisters, it’s just that I want them to be supportive/happy about it and enjoy the experience not despise it…etc. I also want to include them and not hurt their feelings. Maybe I would regret not having them…it seems like its polite to have them.
So as far as my bridal party, I am for sure asking my closer highschool friend and my fiance’s sister. Should I ask both my sisters or just one? (Of course one could always say no) Should I also ask my other highschool friend? (she also could say no)…..If all said yes, then I would have 5 bridesmaids……. We’re still unsure of how many guests we would be having, but we think about 30 people…..maybe more…..maybe 40. Do you think it would be weird to have 5 bridesmaid with such a small wedding? I just talked to my fiance and he said to ask all 5, and maybe even someone will say no….and it doesn’t matter if there are 5.
As far as the flowergirl, I want to ask my fiance’s little cousin who is 5. I know she and her parents(FI aunt and uncle) will be there at the wedding and are very excited, so there should be a good chance they will say yes…
I’m really shy about asking everyone and I have to ask soon!! (I guess I am feeling my social anxiety) I am a shy, quiet person in general. I am also unsure about how to ask them, but am thinking about giving them a special card, along with an edible cookie with the dress/question and maybe a mug or magnet? What do you think about the mug or magnet? (I found ones that said Will you be my….) I am wondering if I should skip the mug in case the person says no. Well anyways, thanks for reading this post. I guess I just need some encouragement…… and wouldn’t mind hearing what you think.