Post # 1
So after writing my previous post, I noticed SO has stopped talking about weddings and marriage and engagement. In fact, it’s effecting me a little more than I’d like to admit. My first thought is, “NO! I need affirmation! Is something wrong! Doesn’t he love me!?”, and then the rational side kicks in and knows everything is fine.
I made the mistake of allowing myself to believe something was wrong, became silently upset, and then spent the evening reading our old emails and thinking about how wonderful he was when I had found out a family member had passed away. And I just felt stupid. This morning when we woke up, I apologized to him for being upset and childish and he said, “No, don’t apologize. This is a relationship, and I am here to listen to everything you have to say. It doesn’t mean I have to agree with it, but I will listen and consider.”
*sigh* The drama they create and we perpetuate.
Post # 3
Aw, he sounds like a sweet guy. You’ll end up living happily ever after. It just takes some time… I waited 5 years for the proposal. Every man has his own timing… unfortunately.
Post # 4
It sounds like you’ve got a keeper there!
Post # 5
He sounds really sweet!! I’ve heard that when the men stop talking about it, it’s because they are seriously considering it and wanting to surprise you. I don’t know if it’s true or not but there may be something to it!
Post # 6
You’ve definitely got one of the good ones. The thing I got reminded of often is: do you want him to propose because HE wants to propose or do you want him to propose because YOU goaded him into it? That actually came from my now-fiance, which definitely made me a little quieter on the subject of, “When am I getting a ring?”
Post # 7
Agh I know, that was the mistake I made in previous LTRs because it was the next “logical step”. In this one, I haven’t said a word. I wasn’t expecting much, and then he began to talk about it. A lot. And that’s what got me going! I don’t talk about it without him bringing it up because I’m terrified of becoming ‘that girl’ again. But I suppose with a wedding we’re attending this weekend, and his brother’s upcoming nuptials… I have engagement brain. 🙂 Damn him for talking about rings and sizing and reception venues. But damn him in a good way, I love him. 🙂
Post # 8
logical step?! are you sure we aren’t twins??? lol that sounds like me in my past ltr and engagement. with m it is so different, it just feels right… lol! i don’t know any other way to describe it
Post # 9
Honestly, my Fi talked about getting married a lot (he brought it up more than me, b/c like you I didn’t want to be “that girl”) When he stopped talking about it, I got a little scared too…but you know what…1 month after he PROPOSED!!! So he was up to something when he wasn’t talking about it, so maybe that’s what your BF is up too! Sounds like its coming soon! He’s sweet to say those kind words to you!!
Post # 10
He sounds really sweet and definitely someone that wants to marry you. My FI talked a lot about marrying me and even a week before he proposed, I was still getting upset and wondering if he was “serious” about getting married. Your feelings are totally normal. Just hang in there, it’s coming!!! 🙂
Post # 11
Maybe he stopped talking about it because he wants to surprise you later? Or maybe he is saving money and planning and doesn’t want to give anything away.
Post # 12
he sounds sweet. what a keeper!
Post # 13
Engagement brain can be so frustrating! But if he is talking about it, that’s a good sign. I just think that guys talk about it for a few months, THEN start thinking about getting the ring, THEN start looking for one, THEN they buy one, and THEN they propose. Our brains go from thinking about getting engaged to wanting to be engaged in 0.7 seconds flat. Faster than a porshe engine… LOL!!!! It’s so hard to hang in there and not say anything, but it’s good that you are realizing how important that he is to you, ring or no ring. You’ll get there!!!!!!
Post # 14
So how do you know he’s gonna propose or thinking about it. The only things I have to go on are
1)We picked out a ring but he has not purchased it yet.
2)He told his buddies at work that he is going to propose and that he is buying my ring this month before it goes up in price. (But he could just be saying that to his work buddies to look cool since they are all married)
3)He opened up his store credit card where my ring is.
Please help!! Am I crazy? Cause it’s all I think about and I don’t bring it up to him because I don’t want him to feel pressured. I love him and I know he loves me and my kids more than anything.
Post # 15
When they get quiet, they’re getting close and preparing the surprise 🙂
Post # 16
Ladies, here’s an update!
We went to his friend’s wedding this past weekend. I was in an emotional mood. After the ceremony, we had about two hours of downtime before the reception and headed back to the hotel. I called my mother and talked about the bittersweet feelings associated with attending someone’s ceremony. I headed back into the room, and after some nudging from him, I admitted to SO that it’s difficult to go to weddings because I always wonder “why not me”, and that I was worried I wouldn’t get married. He asked why I thought we wouldn’t get married, and I sobbed that he stopped talking about it! Well, he said he stopped talking about it because I asked him to!
Later on at the reception, we sat with people we didn’t know (he only knew the bride). It was the groom’s aunts and uncles. One lady took a look at us and said, “I can tell you’re going to get married.” Totally unprompted! She then sat us down and lectured for about twenty minutes that things might get tough, but we need to “hang in there” and keep it going. SO even told the table of his plans for the ridiculous groom’s cake.
During a slow dance I asked him not to make me wait too long. I hope he doesn’t. 🙂