Post # 1
since i’m having a destination wedding, it’s costing my guests significantly more money to even attend. therefore… i feel guilty even thinking about getting gifts. and so… way too guilty to actually make a registry to tell people what gifts i’d like to have.
i actually am nervous that my little wedding will be a let-down to them too! like they will resent me for making them spend so much money to travel only to give them a sh*t wedding or something.
the only good thing (that helps with feeling guilty) is that most of them are using the wedding to take their kids on their first disney trip. am i crazy for feeling this way?
Post # 3
No you aren’t crazy but you just need to realize that if someone can’t afford to travel and get you a gift, they probably won’t come to your wedding. Most people who go to a wedding want to buy a gift for the couple and registering stops you from getting 20 duck centerpieces.
Post # 4
I much prefer when a couple has a registry. I know that the gift I am purchasing is something the couple wants, needs, loves, or all three.
There will be people who want to buy you a gift, whether they attend the wedding or not, so make it easier for them and lessen the chance of getting 6 toasters.
Post # 5
I don’t think there’s a problem having a registry in this situation, but I understand how you feel. I used to want to do a destination wedding, and I was planning on including a note in the invitation that said ‘no gifts please / your presence is the only gift we need’, etc etc. But I don’t think anyone would judge you for including a registry.
Post # 6
@rosworms: I would still create one, people may not buy gifts though, but some may!
Post # 7
I think a registry is so common place in today’s wedding society that most of the guest will feel totally lost without one, even if it’s a destination wedding! I understand the guilt tho- I’m having a wedding in my hometown and felt kinda weird making one since FI and I lived together for over 2 years and have mostly everything we need. But I’d say make one anyways. If people choose to buy you a present they’ll at least know what you guys need/want! (My FMIL got 8 crockpots when she married- think of the horror haha)
Post # 8
okay… well, i guess i’ll make one with some inexpensive stuff that we just haven’t put effort into buying for ourselves… like a laundry hamper…
Post # 9
If you let them know about your wedding in advance, there should be no problem with a modest registry. I wouldn’t be registering for a bunch of high-dollar items, but most people are going to get you a gift. Also, consider having a bridal shower in your area before the wedding. That way, people don’t have to worry about bringing gifts on their travels.
Post # 10
I would love to go to a DW way more then a local one, you get a vacation out of it! I’m sure they will love your wedding and actually remember it b/c it’s different and fun.
I wouldn’t worry about feeling guilty about the registry. It’s their choice if they want to get you a gift. If they want to, they’ll ask where you’re registered and get you what they want off of it. It would probably actually be more difficult for them if you didn’t have a registry, b/c then they’d have to try to figure out what to get you by themselves, never easy!
Post # 11
i am also planning a DW and have some of the same thoughts… as for the registry part – dont forget that you will have many people that cannot make the trip and they will especially want a registry in order to be a part of your big day. i thought it was awkward too, having a DW and THEN asking for gifts… but so many people asked very specifically about the residtry because they knew they could not come… i hadnt thought about it that way. we also have a big disclaimer on our website — that all we really want is for people to be a part of the wedding and that gifts are absolutely not necessary.
Post # 12
If you feel weird about it then don’t do it. You’re not obligated to register. People who want to get you a gift will. They’ll choose something they like and think you’ll like. And if you don’t, then return it. Despite what everyone always says when I tell them I’m not registering, you will not wind up with 20 toasters.
Post # 13
- Wedding: September 2008 - A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park
You can always register and then make sure people know that they don’t have to get you a gift! Or register with a charity so that if they contribute, they can make a difference. 🙂