Oh my gosh I went through this before with my boyfriend. We’ve been together for nearly 9 years, living together for 6 years, so basically married.
I had the same exact issues you are having. I would want to talk to him, he’d be “busy” scanning facebook, checking his email, instragraming his brother, etc. Any conversations I tried to had were very one sided, and often times he seemed annoyed. It made me feel so sad and lonely. I also have no friends of my own really, and moved to a new state, so no family nearby, so he was my main person I talked to and wanted to spend time with. He also would tell me I talked (my talking was ranting pretty much) about work (or plans for school), but mainly work, too much (well, technically he never phrased it like that, but same point)
What fixed this problem:
1) I enrolled back in school finally. Being isolated from friends definitely is a problem. He probably has other people he can talk with, you only have him. That’s how it was for me. When I started going to college, I had my own things I needed time to focus on, and he wasn’t my main focus anymore. For you, unless you also wanted to go back to school, find a hobby or group that is OUTSIDE the home, that he is not part of.
2) Main way I fixed this, we talked. I took an evening to gather my thoughts and did a lot of self-reflecting, and then asked him when would be a good time for us to talk that night. During the talk, I told him how I was feeling. Pretty much everything you wrote. After saying how I’d been feeling (using I messages, not blaming him, staying calm and collective), I asked him what he thought. Basically, he told me that he didn’t like me talking about work because I just would go on a long rant, and get mad when he would try to make a suggestion to fix something, or because he wasn’t sure how to fix the problem.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want me to talk, but he was frustrated as he couldn’t solve the problem or I wouldn’t let him. When I explained to him, that all I wanted to was freely complain, and all he had to say was “I’m sorry, that sucks” or something similar and to just listen.
When we talked about how he would cut me off when I was having a conversation, or when I expressed that I felt he was just trying to make the conversation end, I found out that he thought I was purposely trying to bother him when I thought he was doing something (when I’m in the kitchen, and he’s in the living room on his phone) on his phone or computer. I explained that I really had no idea he was busy, and we set up a system where, if I start a conversation, and he’s doing something, then he would let me know right away, and then once he finished, he would let me know and give me his full attention.
Another thing we talked about was how he felt that he just needed an hour or so when he came home from work to decompress, and to not talk about anything serious or have a long conversation. We realized the problem was I would be isolated at home all day, dying to talk to him, and he felt bombarded everytime he walked in the door. He compromised by giving me a few minutes to have a long convo or rant about something when he get’s home, and then I would give him space and do my own thing so he could decompress a bit.
Another thing that helped, being intimate/having sex more frequently. He was also feeling very resentful about the fact that we had been having sex only once or maybe twice a week, if that. He was very cranky about it, which also caused him to be shorter and less patient because he was angry and upset about it.
Hope this helps!