Post # 1
So my FI and I have been engaged now for a month and we have so we have booked our venue and that’s about it. I also had in my mind who i wanted as my bridesmaids and yesterday saw them with my FI as a meal out/engagement meal. The problem is i should have worded it better when i said i had a good time at the meal on facebook as today i got a very nasty text from my sister basically saying her and my mum feel left out of everything i’m doing with my wedding and she was angry she wasn’t invited to this meal.
Whooooah there all this was was a catch up, granted i shouldn’t have said it was an engagement meal but i felt very hurt that i was being told off for having a catch up with my friends.
I then called my mum as i obviously don’t want her upset and want them both involved with everything but i get them same from her saying i haven’t involved them in anything and hadn’t told her who the bridesmaids were (although FI said i did a couple of weeks ago) and she kind of finished the conversation really quickly.
Well needless to say i broke down in tears, this isn’t what i wanted at all and i want nothing more for them to be involved. I don’t know what to do and feel now i should tell them every little thing to avoid them being hurt.
Was i wrong to have this meal out??
I am going to spend Saturday with just my mum and sister and bring my wedding box of bits to get them involved.
Post # 3
Don’t get them involved! They’re being jerks already!
Be cautious if they are going to make you feel bad over a stupid FB post. :
Talk with them and see how they expect to participate first before you allow them into your special day… going to take a lot to take it away from them if you find out their expectations are crazy later.
And no, you weren’t wrong to say that… you could have 10,000 engagment meals: breakfast, lunch, dinner, drinks only. Your mom and sis don’t need to be there for every single one!
Post # 4
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@mishy: Holy cow, you are in for a long engagement!
No, you’re not wrong for having a dinner out with your friends. Are your mother and sister always involved to meals with your friends? Because I can tell you my mom NEVER is.
I would just calmly respond to both your sister and mother that you’re still enjoying being newly engaged and haven’t done much of anything in the way of planning yet. Let them know what you plan to do in the near future or if you’re waiting on doing anything else right now.
Post # 5
Thanks for you replies. No my mum and sister don’t come out for meals when I go with my old colleagues but I can see their point of view as well, as my father passed away last September and my mum is worried she will be left out which would never happen, I love her dearly.
I have spoken to them both but my sister seems to still have a grudge about it. I’ll just make sure i call them whenever we are thinking about making a decision about the wedding.
Post # 6
@mishy: “I’ll just make sure i call them whenever we are thinking about making a decision about the wedding”
Please don’t forget, this is YOUR wedding, not theirs! I think it is very sad that you feel like you are in a position where you need to inform them or get their opinion on every decision that you make. I understand that they want to be involved, but holy, there needs to be some boundaries…