Weddingbee boards

Ok, this is a little bit of a rant. Sorry if it's a bit long! ;)

I totally UNDERSTAND. When a couple gets married the days are after the wedding and the honeymoon are hectic and I do know that it takes a while to get back to normal....but....do brides usually just fall off the radar completely and forget their friends???

My friend got married the first week of October 2008. I was one of her two bridesmaids (MOH, but don't feel like using the title anymore). She completely vetoed a bridal shower AND a bachelorette party but I heard she was complaining about it to her now DH's friends. I assumed she said her 'bad' bridesmaids didn't do anything for her to prevent people from thinking she was weird for not having a shower or a party...she does let other people take the fall sometimes just so that she doesn't have to deal with stuff...and that would totally explain how cold the groom's friends reacted to us (bridesmaids). Totally uncomfortable and uncalled for.

I technically moved mountains for this woman. Spent days helping her out and didn't even get a proper thank you. My mom suggests I should let it go. I quite CAN'T and I'm feeling used.

I don't want to confront her because I'm not sure if I'm overreacting. She is my bridesmaid...well, MOH, really but at this point I really want nothing to do with her. I had send her a few emails, texts and messages for different reasons...wishing her a great honeymoon, welcoming her back...etc. ALL of them have been ignored. No reply whatsoever.

Two months after her wedding we finally met after she postponed a couple of times. She went right to my wedding details (which is fine) but with a very aggressive attitude that quite frankly left me stressed. I went on a trip just 2 days after her wedding and she didn't ask me anything. I changed the convo to her honeymoon and all the places they visited...and she went on and on for all the limited time we had. I think I have a very selfish friend and I just realized it. :(

I did leave her reception early...1hr. before everything finished. I had been with her technically since the day before and since 6am that day. She was not a bridezilla...just a bit thoughtless. I don't know if leaving the reception early warrants all the ignored emails or she truly is just busy.

My mom suggests that I shouldn't care and that as long as she shows up on the wedding day I shouldn't bother...but that's NOT how I work. I don't want repayment for the time I spent helping her with her wedding but I also don't want a friend that I'm thinking is NOT a friend. What do I do? any advice would be greatly appreciated.

thanks!

Thanks ES123..I don't know why this situation has turned me into a total chicken!

I'm usually very straight forward and so is my friend but is like she turned out to be someone different. A lying, control freak. Being a control freak I can take...she's always being a bit like that but the lies I can't. She blamed her FI for decisions she made herself so that I would go along with it without knowing.

I hinted to my mom about getting a new MOH and she freaked. "Rude" to take back the title and my parents do love eating at her family restaurant. Argh! Wish me luck!

Weddings can be sooo stressful! My suggestion is honesty. Try to tell her that although she may not have intended to make you feel a certain way... that X and Y bothered you. Being honest about feelings can't be right or wrong, b/c those are just your feelings. And even though she may not intend to hurt you or be inconsiderate... if she left you feeling that way, you should let her know. What she does with that information is up to her, but honesty - albeit can be brutal and hurtful - is probably the best way to go. I always tell my FH when we have disagreements "you may not have intended to do X, but it left me feeling Y..." Everyone is different, and feelings are different, so what is nothing to her, could be somethign to you... and i think its probably best to acknowledge that!