Post # 1
I have looked forward to the day of my wedding all of my life…..It has been a dream of mine to have a beautiful wedding filled with love from my family and friends. But, so far it seems like the love is going to have to come from my friends and FI’s family.
I come from a very religious family…we have all attended the same church all of my life. I have always considered myself to be a Christian…I love God and believe that he is a part of my life. Well, I unfortunately have had to deal with the fact that my Pastor will not marry us due to us wanting to have a regular reception (as in dancing and alcohol). The thing is that me and my FI are social drinkers….we only drink on special occasions and it’s only wine and the occasional beer. We have a lot of family and friends that drink and didn’t think it would be a big issue to have alcohol at the wedding.
Well, because of this my pastor will not marry us, so we have had to seek out another pastor who has happily agreed to marry us. Because some of my family also goes to my church….and my pastor doesn’t agree on the reception, several of them have told me that they cannot attend my reception at all. They state that it is a sin to listen to secular music and witness dancing. Needless to say I am very hurt…….I don’t understand why they can’t just be there for us and not judge me so harshly.
I’ve constantly gone to friends weddings and witnessed their families celebrate with them with happiness……..Why can’t I have that? I feel like the people that supposed to love me the most are the ones that constanly hurt me…..I’m just upset and I’m starting to regret even having a wedding and reception……I just don’t know what to do……..I can never be happy because of trying to please others…..
I’m sorry for the long post….I just needed to vent to someone……
Post # 3
I’m so sorry they’ve decided to take a stand when it comes to your wedding! I wish people could understand that they can just attend a wedding without passing any sort of moral judgement :(.
I’m glad your friends and FI’s family is there for you, even though it must hurt so badly that your family isn’t. Major hugs coming your way.
Post # 4
Focus on those that can be happy for you. I know its hard, but its for the best
I hope this is the only time they judge you and cant support you, but be prepared that in the future they may do the same thing if it doesnt agree with their religion.
Post # 5
Can they just attend your ceremony only? I am sorry about all this happening 🙁 My MOH had a dry wedding because of her very religious family, but she is not a big drinker so it wasn’t an issue (there was a cash bar in the lobby so we drinkers could buy from there)
Post # 6
I just wanted to give you these…*HUGS*
I’d focus on those that are there to support and stand by you. Maybe your other family members can do what Miss Sardine suggested and just come to the ceremony? I hope it all works out in the end.
Post # 7
1 corinthians 13:2
“And if I have the gift of prophesying and am acquainted with all the sacred secrets and all knowledge, and if i have all the faith so as to transplant mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.”
“For we have partial knowledge and we prophesy partialy; but when that which is complete arrives, that which is parcial will be done away with.”
Have your reception, enjoy your wedding, enjoy your life.
God is not that petty.
Live Laugh and Love.
Post # 8
Oh no, that sounds horrible! I would hope if the guests in question are really close to you that they will change their mind and come anyways. I didn’t realize some people were still so old-fashioned about that kind of thing. During the ceremony I understand, but the reception??
And since when is dancing a sin? Or drinking…let’s think about the whole turning water to wine thing for a second here!
Post # 9
@Lulou: wish I could press *LIKE* on your post!
sheebsw, i second Lulou’s post, and hugs to you…
Post # 10
I’m so sorry 🙁 I’d recommend that you have whatever you’d like at your wedding. If you wan’t alcohol there as well as dancing, so be it! Don’t allow people that are willing to hurt you in the way they are acting, dictate your wedding day. I’m just astonished that they would honestly not come to your wedding because of a pastor refusing for a ridiculous reason. I’m sorry if this offends anyone but I don’t see what the harm is in watching other people dance.. the people that call themselves christian and honestly belive it’s a sin to watch people dance must have not ever read the bible. Example:
“Let them praise his name in the dance: let them
sing praises unto him with the timbrel and harp.”
“A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.”
“You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy.”
All throughout the bible it mentiones dancing and relates it to celebrating! It makes zero sense to say that dancing is a sin. Perhaps you should show them these quotes in the bible.
I really hope that you have what you want at your wedding. If they don’t attend because of something silly like that, then they aren’t much of family now are they? A family supports each other no matter what, not just when convienent. At least in my book anyway.
Post # 11
I’m so sorry that is happening. Not to offend, but that is a sad way to interpret the bible. Life and love should be celebrated. Goodluck!!!
Post # 12
I’m so sorry your family is being so ridiculous about this. My FILs are devout Christians (both pastors) and they don’t partake of alcohol. But they haven’t expressed any issues with others drinking at our reception – heck, we’ve brought beer over to their house for our own consumption and they haven’t complained. And I’m sure they don’t have any issues with dancing (seriously, what’s wrong with dancing!?) It really irks me that some people can be so narrow-minded. 🙁
Post # 13
Stand firm and rejoice in knowing you are doing what is best for your love on your special day. Celebrate and allow yourself to be happy, and surround yourself with those that support you. *hugs*
Post # 14
OMG….Bees, thanks you all soooo much! You all have really made me feel better with your kind words and scriptures to refer to I’m really going to let it all go and enjoy my day…..I know that I have people that will be there to dance the night away with me and as long as my FI is there, everything will be just fine
I really do LOVE Weddingbee!!!!
Post # 15
Wow if people are refusing to attend based on the pastors opinions, thats totally twisted. I wouldnt even consider those people as friends.