Post # 1
I’m travelling to SD for a little part of the holidays to do some more wedding planning, getting my make up/hair trial in and giving 2nd payments to all vendors.
I asked my bridesmaids if they wanted to get their hair/make up done, they said they would pay for it if I wanted them to have a specific look but they don’t care. So that’s great, I don’t need them to be painted in any specific way. However, I do want to treat them to mani/pedis a couple of days before the wedding and the place I usually go to is 30/person and I only have 2 girls.
The problem is I already booked a hotel and I cannot extend my stay to these extra days before for the pampering/prep for me and my bridesmaids. If I use the money for a hotel then I won’t be able to treat them.
I don’t know why but I feel kind of weird asking them to let me spend a night in either of their homes. I didn’t have a shower, bach party, and letting them pick any dress in the color I want. I’m not having them buy shoes as its a beach wedding/sand barefoot.
My bridesmaids are hard up for cash but they have each found their dress showed it to me and committed. Everytime I text them about something wedding related I feel like they hold their breath and give a sigh of relief in realizing im not expecting them to spend double or triple digits.
I want to do something nice for them in this way but Im kind of annoyed at how everytime I bring anything up wedding related immediately they start saying how they don’t have $$ or time but they don’t even realize I’m not asking them to pay for anything, and I was just sharing something with them.
anyone want to share with me any similar stories?
Post # 3
I hear you. But I think it’s easy to get blinded by wedding planning (I know that’s all i talk about some days!). if they start getting weird about the topic, just straight out ask them what’s making them worry. Then you can say you don’t want them to pay, or address whatever’s making you feel weird. Sounds like just a small communication problem to me. Hope it works for you!!
Post # 4
@elliptical2013: I’m kinda confused…are you talking about taking them for mani/pedi’s this weekend while you’re in SD? Or for your wedding? If I was your friends I wouldn’t have any problems having you stay with me if you were in town visiting. I would do that for any of my friends (especially my BM’s) in a heartbeat! If you don’t feel comfortable asking them maybe you could put a feeler out? Mention that you thought about staying an extra day but you didn’t book the hotel for the last night? LOL As far as the comments about not having money, one of my BM’s is doing the same thing too. We’re paying for both of her boys to be in the wedding) and FI is going to take his free Tux and give it to her husband, so all she has to pay for is her BM’s dress…but she still complains. Unfortunately, there isn’t much you can do about it….I just kinda roll my eyes (in private, not in front of her LOL) and know that while it can be kind of annoying, its not worth stressing over. I found a very affordable dress and she’s known which dress and the price ($150) for a year to save up for it. We all struggle with money and I get that…been there done that…i think some people just handle it differently. LOL
Post # 5
I’m sensing that you might be assuming they’re thinking things that they aren’t necessarily thinking. You could have a “team huddle” and tell them the game plan so that you don’t feel like they’re surprised every time you say something to them or ask them to do something… You know what I’m saying?
Post # 6
I’m a little confused by your post but it sounds like you want to treat them but it would mean every one planning to come to the wedding 2 days sooner. Right? My suggestion is to either treat them the morning of or call a locate place by them and have a gift certificate set up for them to go to before the wedding.