Post # 1
The invitations went out almost 2 weeks ago, and I was so very thrilled to have that done, and to be able to check off one more thing, getting us closer to the actual wedding. Now, the RSVPs are rolling in, and at first, I was super thrilled to open them up – mail! exciting! – but, as the “No”‘s start to roll in, I’m feeling….sort of sad? Honestly, none of the No’s that we have gotten so far have been unexpected – a relative who lives 1000 miles away, a family friend who told us before invites went out that he had (inadverntely) planned a trip for the same weekend, a cousin who I have no relationship with, who I didn’t expect to come, a judgemental aunt who told us that unless we were getting married in the church, she wouldn’t be coming – but I still feel bad about myself/our wedding every time I open one of these No’s. Realistically, we planned on a good number of people declining, and I know that every yes means the catering cost goes up – but I still feel weird/sad about it. Am I totally insane here? Does anyone else feel this way about the nos?
Post # 3
I was the same way when we got our first no in, I was definitely disappointed. But now that we had our tasting & for what we are guessing as the final count I am honestly liking the no’s! A lot of people we didn’t think that would make it are now & its made our guest count go up a little more than we hoped.
Post # 4
@jenn6051: Glad I’m not the only one! I know I’ll be happier with a smaller number in the end, but its just sort of a blow to send someone this invitation that I slaved over for endless hours, just to have them say “no” – especially the ones that didn’t even write anything, just checked the box.
Post # 5
Yeah, I have a couple people who I really wish were able to come who just can’t for whatever reason. But several of them are from out of town, so I kind of expected it but still feel disapointed!
I have one couple who aren’t coming because they don’t like one woman is coming. It was very awkward how we found out and even more weird when and how they finally told us.
BIG HUGS and best wishes for a beautful day and bright future!
Post # 6
I cant relate yet, I just sent our invites last week, but I can imagine it making you sad, even if you knew before hand. Ithink we all like to think of our wedding as everyone being as excited to be there as we are so when we get nos its an icky feeling. No matter what though. Your wedding will be amazing, and everyone who is anyone will be there for you and your Fiance.
Post # 7
i haven’t send out invites yet, but i expect a lot of people to decline. most of my fiance’s family lives on the other coast. aside from his most immediate family, most probably won’t be coming.
i’ll bet you’ll receive a flood of yes’s closer to the wedding. people can be lazy. hang in there! 🙂
Post # 8
How about getting a ‘no’ from your favorite Aunt and Uncle, because they received an invite to a wedding prior to yours?! To top it all off, the wedding they’re going to is a distant relatives, daughters’ wedding! Ugh, I was upset for sure. But like other bees have said, it’s not entirely saddening to see your expected guest count go down; after seeing the caterer bill, etc.
Post # 9
I was more suprised because the “no’s” I got I had not expected and the those I expected to say “no” ended up coming.
Post # 10
i feel said about the no’s too! I want a ot of people to be there and share this day with me. But then again its less that I have to pay for!
Post # 11
It doesn’t make me sad. The people I expected to say no, did and I am ok with that.
Post # 12
I’ve been praying for the people who we expected not to come to actually RSVP at all, but we wrote “regrets only” thinking people would actually inform is that they’re not coming. Oh well, life’s all about learning.
I did have a high school friend RSVP no because she is in med school (so proud of her!) and my heart sank a little. But on the big day we’ll be so surrounded by love that I won’t be focusing on who couldn’t make it.
Post # 13
There was a problem with our invites getting out in a timely fashion (Grrr)… to the point where they arrive at people’s homes within a week of the RSVP “due date”. Some people are still “uncertain” as to whether they’re coming even though we’re less than a month a way (like relatives of my Fiance that live in other states). So far I’ve only received yes RSVPS, I know the nos are out there since some people said probably not or no ahead of time (that doesn’t mean you don’t have to send in your RSVPs tho!) I understand it sucks seeing knows, but at this point I’d rather see Nos than just not know at all. :/
Post # 14
I don’t think you should feel sad if they’ve all been expected. Think of the money you’re saving! That’s what I do. Most of our no’s were expected, too and I’m just excited that we’re saving hundreds of dollars over our original estimate of 75 people. Maybe it’s less exciting if you’re not paying for most of the wedding, I don’t know your situation.
Post # 15
I’m totally with you OP. And for some reason a little bummed when they don’t write a note. Strange how “Sorry we’re missing you! Congratulations!” makes the “no” seem nicer.
Post # 16
Well… look at it this way, maybe people that know they’re not coming have responded a lot faster to give you the chance to open up your guestlist a little more.
My boyfriend’s cousing did that, which was sort of off putting, but in the end, she was confident that out of town relatives weren’t coming, and more of her friends/younger cousins were able to bring dates.