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I'm a little confused why getting married = resigning? Are you moving or something?
I hope that doesn't sound rude, I'm just curious :)
I'm thinking you should let him know so he can find your replacement... but on the other hand, you only really need to give 2 weeks notice, so you could hold off!
I'd say give him more than 2 weeks notice, but don't tell him yet. It in incredibly unprofessional, IMO, that he treated you differently in the first place because you tried to help him out by giving him advance notice about your impending resignation.
At the same time, this guy will be giving recommendations for you when you need them, so keep on his good side. When you do come clean, I'd be honest with him - "It was very difficult for me to choose to tell you early that I will be leaving to get married, because I felt that your treatment of me [not giving me the raise I deserved] when I thought I was getting married last year was unfair and unprofessional."
No...not rude at all. My FI currently lives in Charleston, SC...I live in Charlotte, NC. Since he has the bigger house and the higher paying job(s) AND his family is 30 minutes from him, we decided that it would make more sense if my daughter and I moved...especially since we have NO family in Charlotte and a lot of my friends have relocated to other cities/states. My family is from SC as well so it was a pretty easy decision to make.
Give your two weeks, for someone who DISCRIMINATED against you when it came to pay, he deserves no more than that.
@daydream...I was planning on giving him notice as soon as I come back to the office (January 6th) and then working through the end of the month. I have also been secretly "grooming" my preferred replacement by having her run meetings, send out documentation, train team members etc. I do it under the guise of helping her grow professionally...but I have added urgency b/c I know my days are numbered.
I'd give him 2 weeks. HE jipped you once, and you don't need to deal with that again.
@kjpugs & his barista...that's EXACTLY what my FI said...LOL. He told me that I don't owe them anything but 2 weeks notice...the end. He was furious when I told him about the raise situation last year. I LOVE my career and I want to make sure that I get good references when I need them...but sheesh...he is getting on my nerves with the asking me about wedding plans all the time. It's gotten to the point where I dare not wear my e-ring to work. My FI put it back in the safe until we actually leave for Jamaica. I keep telling myself it's only for a little while longer...but he is really sucking the joy out of my job with all the questions.
I understand how you feel bc I am planning on getting trying to get pregnant next year and that affects a lot of things in my job. I keep having this urge to tell people when they talk about deployments that I am scheduled to do next year. Ultimately I decided there was no need to say anything until it is a reality.
Unfortunately you have already been treated unprofessionally based on the earlier incident and I suspect it would happen again.
All you need to do is be professional and give him two weeks notice.
Wow, I can't believe he actually admitted that he didn't give you as high of a raise as you deserved. Especially when your FI had stomach cancer. Not. Nice. 2 weeks would be more than enough... giving him til the end of the month is more than generous!
2 weeks is more than enough. ESP since you are already training a replacement (MUCH MUCH nicer than I would have been in this situation!)
I would wait to tell him. You definitely have to give him at least two weeks notice, but other than that, not giving you a raise based on the fact that you were getting married is illegal. I can't believe he actually came straight out and said that to you. That's discrimination. The same as if he told you he didnt give you a better raise because you are a woman. ugh.
2 weeks. And for jipping you out of a higher raise, that's more than he deserves.
2 weeks...just tell him it was a decision you've mulled over for awhile and now you and your husband have made this decision together, you're officially notifying him.
Your boss is a jerk =(. Discriminating for sure...tl4eling you you get a lower raise b/c you're married? Sounds like it involves a trip to HR if i were you because that is ILLEGAL.
Because he was so nasty to you, I'd give him 2 weeks and on the last day, I'd let him know how unprofessional it was when you were denied a raise b/c you were getting married. He would only get the 2 weeks. To the day and to the hour from me. I'd be nice to him, but remind him of his inconsiderate behavior and descrimination and ask him to learn from his sad mistake and treat your replacement much better and the rest of the staff fairly.
Absolutely do not give him advance notice, unless you're ready to be shown the door that very day. Give whatever is standard- two weeks should be more than enough.
considering that they had a big ol' HR breach by telling you that they purposely jipped you out of your hard earned money because you may or may not be getting married - 2 weeks is generous. I would also have said something to HR the day he said that to me.
Yeah...I was going to do the entire month of January but I will probably only do 2 weeks. Oh HR would be absolutely of no help since management tends to circle the wagons whenever HR gets involved and back each other up even though they know the manager is int he wrong. One of my co-workers just went through a similar situation and she is currently just going with the flow until she can transfer out of our dept or find a new job. I used to dread leaving my job but now I find myself counting down the days...one bad apple will definitely spoil the whole bunch
2 weeks! thats all he deserves after his past behavior. and the fact that you are kind already training your replacement should make you and him feel better!
OK, different angle here, but this is sexual discrimination! Did you have performance problems due to planning the wedding or was he just doing this *because you were planning the wedding. Would he have done the same to a man getting married?!
If you are leaving anyway, you need to research your rights and maybe get some back pay. However, if you don't want to go that route, just remember that you will need his recommendation in the future and 2 weeks isn't standard in a lot of professions. Also, depending on your group, the boss isn't always the one who is "punished" w/ short notice, but it might be your teammate who gets stuck w/ your work...
If you sue him, you can let your future employers know you would like to use another reference due to the suit...
I would only give him two weeks. My company was being sort of nasty to other people and I was thinking of doing less but I kept my professional manners and gave them only 2 weeks even though I knew much much earlier than that.
I wouldn't sue or anything like that. Is it wrong, probably yes.
I think 2 weeks is obviously required. However, if he is already asking you about when/if you are leaving and then you spring the 2 week thing on him then I would expect he would be upset and maybe not give the best recommendation. I think the recommendation is probably very important.
Yep, I agree with everyone else. Two weeks notice is all this clown deserves. I'm in total disbelief that he flat out told you he didn't give you that raise because you were getting married. I work in HR, and I know for a fact that what he did is illegal. BUT, you don't want to burn your bridges. When you surrender your resignation, tell him that you honestly weren't sure if any plans until recently because of your FI's health, and say you're willing to work two full weeks to help groom a replacement. Then you're out of there.
From someone who's left unstable employers in the past, be fully prepared for a bad reaction and instructions to leave immediately. I think he'll let you stay the full two weeks, but just sayin'.
I would give the minimum notice required by your employment agreement. Absent a written agreement, I would give two weeks notice; that, coupled with the fact that you are secretly grooming your replacement, is more than sufficient.
And while I agree with pps re the shoddy treatment you received, I have found it is always prudent to be discreet and to take the high road (as you have obviously done!).
p.s. early congrats on your *retirement*! :D
I think it's inappropriate of him to hound you about when are you leaving, when are you getting married. It's kind of harrassment IMO. It's none of his business when you are getting married and you'll leave when you want to!
Two weeks is fine like all the other bees said.
Two weeks. Remember, it's business, and you need to look out for yourself.
@jmc...yes...my FI was cancer-free as of his last visit with the oncologist.
Update:
OK..I am DEFINITELY not telling my mgr prior to getting married. One of my co-workers gave her resignation Tuesday and came into work Wednesday and started working, thinking that she would work her two weeks. They asked her to leave the same day and weren't very nice about it. She didn't even have time to say any goodbye's so we are meeting her for lunch on Friday. This department is getting ridiculous and whereas before, I really struggled with leaving such a great job...now I find myself ready to go. I told my FI that I can't wait until he marries me and takes me out of my misery.
I have seen many, many cses of people giving their two week's notice and then being walked out the door. You only owe him two weeks and he has certainly not given you any common courtesies. Protect yourself first. Two weeks is all that's required.
I agree with the 2 weeks notice. That's really terrible of your employer- about the raise.
2 Weeks and not a minute more! I know its burning bridges, but my temptation would be to announce you're not coming back as you leav eyour last day! Hahaha...but seriously. This sounds like a horrible boss and a horrible company to work for!
I am happy to read your FI's last scan showed him clear of cancer! Yay! I hope you two have a very long, happy, healthy life together! :)
At first I was going to say give 2 weeks but offer to stay until they find a suitable replacement (so you still get a good reference and possibly take some extra work off your coworkers), HOWEVER after I read what your boss/company did to your other coworker who resigned...I wouldn't do that. I'd simply give the 2 weeks and if they tell you to leave then leave. Good riddance! I'm very glad to hear that your FI is cancer free also!
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So...by now most of you have heard (or maybe not) that My FI planned my DW to Jamaica as a surprise for me b/c I planned our first attempt and he was diagnosed with stomach cancer and we cancelled those plans...if you hadn't heard...there you go.
So here is my etiquette issue. Should I tell my boss that I am planning on resigning in January??
Here's the thing...I let him know that I was getting married the first time and he pretty much admitted that my raise for last year was less than what it would have been had I not been planning on resigning/getting married. So...when FI was diagnosed with cancer and we cancelled the wedding, I was pretty much working for less than I should have been.
So this time I don't plan on saying anything until AFTER I am married....just in case something happens. Not that I think anything will, I am just overly cautious like that. Once bitten...and all that jazz.
So...am I wrong? Should I tell him in advance so that he can start grooming my replacement? I just got a promotion a couple of months ago and it seems like every week since he has been asking about my and FIs plans....are you leaving? you can't leave. When are you getting married? You aren't getting married over the holidays are you? On and on and on until I want to flip out and say stay the hockey pookey out of my ding dang personal business!!
Advice?