Post # 1
So…by now most of you have heard (or maybe not) that My FI planned my DW to Jamaica as a surprise for me b/c I planned our first attempt and he was diagnosed with stomach cancer and we cancelled those plans…if you hadn’t heard…there you go.
So here is my etiquette issue. Should I tell my boss that I am planning on resigning in January??
Here’s the thing…I let him know that I was getting married the first time and he pretty much admitted that my raise for last year was less than what it would have been had I not been planning on resigning/getting married. So…when FI was diagnosed with cancer and we cancelled the wedding, I was pretty much working for less than I should have been.
So this time I don’t plan on saying anything until AFTER I am married….just in case something happens. Not that I think anything will, I am just overly cautious like that. Once bitten…and all that jazz.
So…am I wrong? Should I tell him in advance so that he can start grooming my replacement? I just got a promotion a couple of months ago and it seems like every week since he has been asking about my and FIs plans….are you leaving? you can’t leave. When are you getting married? You aren’t getting married over the holidays are you? On and on and on until I want to flip out and say stay the hockey pookey out of my ding dang personal business!!
Post # 3
I’m a little confused why getting married = resigning? Are you moving or something?
Post # 4
I hope that doesn’t sound rude, I’m just curious 🙂
I’m thinking you should let him know so he can find your replacement… but on the other hand, you only really need to give 2 weeks notice, so you could hold off!
Post # 5
I’d say give him more than 2 weeks notice, but don’t tell him yet. It in incredibly unprofessional, IMO, that he treated you differently in the first place because you tried to help him out by giving him advance notice about your impending resignation.
At the same time, this guy will be giving recommendations for you when you need them, so keep on his good side. When you do come clean, I’d be honest with him – “It was very difficult for me to choose to tell you early that I will be leaving to get married, because I felt that your treatment of me [not giving me the raise I deserved] when I thought I was getting married last year was unfair and unprofessional.”
Post # 6
No…not rude at all. My FI currently lives in Charleston, SC…I live in Charlotte, NC. Since he has the bigger house and the higher paying job(s) AND his family is 30 minutes from him, we decided that it would make more sense if my daughter and I moved…especially since we have NO family in Charlotte and a lot of my friends have relocated to other cities/states. My family is from SC as well so it was a pretty easy decision to make.
Post # 7
@jamaica – ohhhh ok 🙂 that makes sense now!
Post # 8
Give your two weeks, for someone who DISCRIMINATED against you when it came to pay, he deserves no more than that.
Post # 9
@daydream…I was planning on giving him notice as soon as I come back to the office (January 6th) and then working through the end of the month. I have also been secretly “grooming” my preferred replacement by having her run meetings, send out documentation, train team members etc. I do it under the guise of helping her grow professionally…but I have added urgency b/c I know my days are numbered.
Post # 10
I’d give him 2 weeks. HE jipped you once, and you don’t need to deal with that again.
Post # 11
@kjpugs & his barista…that’s EXACTLY what my FI said…LOL. He told me that I don’t owe them anything but 2 weeks notice…the end. He was furious when I told him about the raise situation last year. I LOVE my career and I want to make sure that I get good references when I need them…but sheesh…he is getting on my nerves with the asking me about wedding plans all the time. It’s gotten to the point where I dare not wear my e-ring to work. My FI put it back in the safe until we actually leave for Jamaica. I keep telling myself it’s only for a little while longer…but he is really sucking the joy out of my job with all the questions.
Post # 12
2 weeks notice is sufficient.
Post # 13
- Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion
Based on everything you have said, 2 weeks notice is plenty.
Post # 14
I understand how you feel bc I am planning on getting trying to get pregnant next year and that affects a lot of things in my job. I keep having this urge to tell people when they talk about deployments that I am scheduled to do next year. Ultimately I decided there was no need to say anything until it is a reality.
Unfortunately you have already been treated unprofessionally based on the earlier incident and I suspect it would happen again.
All you need to do is be professional and give him two weeks notice.
Post # 15
Wow, I can’t believe he actually admitted that he didn’t give you as high of a raise as you deserved. Especially when your FI had stomach cancer. Not. Nice. 2 weeks would be more than enough… giving him til the end of the month is more than generous!
Post # 16
2 weeks is more than enough. ESP since you are already training a replacement (MUCH MUCH nicer than I would have been in this situation!)