Feelings for pets changed after kids?

posted 2 years ago in Pets
Post # 2
Member
643 posts
Busy bee

urchin:  I’m worried about this happening. Like you, our dog is our baby and we love him to pieces. I’m fully aware that I will be a lot busier when we have kids and I won’t have as much time/energy to dedicate to him as I do now. I don’t have kids yet so this is easy for me to say, but I feel like I will always find time for him and love him as much as I do now.

Our plan is to get a second dog after we move so he can start getting used to playing with someone other than us. He will also get used to not being an “only child.” I think if the dogs have each other, then they won’t be after us for attention as much. If need be, I’d hire a dog walker to ensure the dogs got pooped before we got home. A tired dog is a well behaved dog.

Post # 4
Member
8425 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

urchin:  I’m currently pregnant, and while I feel it’s harder for me to care for my dog (i.e. walks are much more of a workout lol), I still think of him as my baby.  However, my dog doesn’t shed much, doesn’t smell and is really easy to take care of (doesn’t steal food, super obedient, doesn’t chew, etc).  I also don’t work, so I have much more time during the day than most.  Of course, my feelings could totally change once the kids are actually here, but I think it’s normal for peoples’ priorities to change once they have children.  If you are considering getting another dog, you could always adopt an adult dog instead of a puppy; which will be far less work.

Post # 5
Member
643 posts
Busy bee

housebee:  I think that’s a really good point. My dog is incredibly obedient so he isn’t a bother at all. He’s never had “human food” so he doesn’t beg and he listens exceptionally well. If I had a misbehaved dog, then I can certainly see how that would be a burden when I was trying to raise kids!

urchin:  I’m probably a little bit crazy, lol. I just love animals so much that I can’t imagine my life without them. We are moving to a house with more property so I’m hoping that our 2 dogs and (future) 3 kids will be happy there! I actually wanted 3 dogs and 3 kids but my partner put his foot down and said he doesn’t want a zoo 🙂

Post # 6
Member
3902 posts
Honey bee

I am commenting to follow really. I have two cats (I am a crazy cat lady and happy to admit it). they are my world. But, one day I want kids, so it will be interesting to see how things will change.

Post # 7
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

somethingblue04:  We considered this, as we’re TTC, and our trainer REALLY REALLY strongly advised us not to. She pointed out that a new baby is enough of a stressful change for the dog, and another dog might be way too much.  Think of it this way: he’s already “losing” half your attention/love…imagine losing 2/3 in one fell swoop. Just some food for thought 🙂

I’m really worried about this, so I’ll be interested to see what others say…our dog is our baby, and the idea of feeling the way you do breaks my heart for him (and I know you can’t help the way you feel, but I’m just being honest).

Post # 9
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

urchin:  I get that, and I didn’t mean to imply I think you’re neglecting him….I would also hope that as your kids grow older they would take on more of a role in terms of playing with him/caring for him…so that might make up for some of the attention he “lost” from you.

Post # 10
Member
643 posts
Busy bee

sara_tiara:  That makes sense. It’s interesting that our trainer was the one who suggested it! He said if we got a puppy, it would be like a “job” for our dog and become a puppy of his very own. We won’t be TTC until about a year or two from now so there would be time to adjust in between. It’s something to consider for sure though so thank you for the perspective. I wish I could have 100 dogs 🙂 lol.

urchin:  I think that you’re really doing the best you can. How old is your child (I understand you also have one of the way)? As the kids get older, your time will (theoretically) start to free up. All you can do is take the best care of your family that you can, dog included. And that’s exactly what you are doing.

You can’t help how you feel but maybe there are ways to change it. Can you do joint family activities like family walks or picnics? Could your husband pick up some of the dog slack while you are taking care of the kids? Including the kids as they get older will also help as they can take on feeding, walking, and basic care needs that the dog may have.

Like I said, I don’t have kids yet but sometimes my dog feels like work too and that’s because he is. Animals take work to care for. I don’t think anyone would argue that picking up poop is fun or going for walks in terrible weather is a first choice activity. Just like childcare is also work, an animal is too. You know what they say though – nothing worth it in life is easy 🙂

Post # 12
Member
6644 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

We have a cat, my feelings for her haven’t changed at all since having our son.  She is more of DH’s cat than mine. I usually comment that between her and our son not sure who causes more trouble.  Mostly I just wish our son would learn to be gentle with her.  We constantly tell him be gentle with her. 

Post # 13
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

urchin:  I can relate. I got pregnant not long after we got our Saint Bernard, so I was tired and not feeling well from the start with him. The month that I did get to enjoy him I could hardly do because he was seizuring so bad, so he and I have had a rough relationship. He was supposed to be my dog, and he truly is DH’s dog because he did most of the work training him and everthing. I only fed him. I could barely play because of his size and my pregnancy.

Once I had my son, I did feel I had less patience with him. I still do. To have a big, slobbery face with drool in your son’s face is not something I like, BUT I knew what I was getting into when we got a Saint.

I try to remember how much I wanted this dog, and how much he makes me smile. He’s a lot of work on top of a baby, but I love him to death. He’s got the cutest face, and I just have to try to remember that he is experiencing everything for the first time with me, and he just wants to love me. He has no intention of upsetting me ever.

And just because now I miss my son and my dog…

Post # 15
Member
7262 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I would also say that I have less patience with my dog after baby. Now I notice every time she barks or shakes her ears and wakes the baby up. It’s not her fault, she’s just being a dog, but it’s definitely still annoying! I will say she is very helpful when she picks up DD’s dropped toys and brings them to me on command, and it’s cute seeing her with DD.

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