- 3 years ago
So my very best friend (besides my husband of course) is a guy. We don’t text all the time or go to the movies but I do my tomboyish things with him like shooting hoops, running, and watching sports. We go out for drinks with the rest of our male coworkers to a sports bar across the street but we never go to a club or anything. Most importantly, I am happily married and have been for almost 3 years. I say all of this to give everyone a better idea of the type of friendship we have, because in my mind, it shows that neither of us are doing anything remotely inappropriate. My husband is also good friends with my bff and we hang out in a group all the time.
The issue now comes in the form of his girlfriend, who is now a few months pregnant. My bff and I have been friends longer than they have dated but I have always been kind and welcoming to her. I invite her to parties, shopping, (she has zero interest in the athletic things we do) and the 4 of us have board game nights all the time. My husband and I brought the two of them camping last year for a week too And she was rude and miserable the entire time. She would say she didn’t want to do something like kayaking with me, so her bf offered to go and she got upset. I feel like I’ve put in a huge effort to be her friend, and now I’m hurt that it’s not being reciprocated. She talks down to me and is much friendlier to everyone else. She ignores my text messages but responds right away to my husbands or her bfs
When I found out they were having a baby I went out and bought her a congratulations card and present. I didn’t get a thank you until I asked my bff if he gave it to her and he told her to ssy thank you . She doesn’t have a car so I offered to drive to the opposite side of the city to get her and take her shopping to find her an outfit for New Years. I did the same last night because they have their gender reveal party in 2 days and she asked me to help her find an outfit for the party.
Thats where I became really hurt. When my bff told me they had planned a gender reveal party where they booked a room and ordered a cake from a baker I was hoping to be invited. He’s my best friend and I can’t wait to find out what they’re having. But no invite came. He could probably sense I was disappointed although I never said anything so he quickly told me it was just parents and siblings because that’s what his gf wanted. Well he admitted yesterday that there were now 25 plus ppl attending, including cousins that he never sees. This really hurt my feelings because I felt like the ppl you are closest too should be there to celebrate the baby more so than distant cousins. But again I kept my mouth shut. I went shopping for her outfit last night and felt like the party was being rubbed in my face. She wanted to pick out her outfit, and had me help her design centrepieces for the event. I felt this was rude given that I wasn’t invited. To me it’s like asking a friend to help stuff envelopes for your wedding but not invoting them.
At the end of the shopping spree I drove her home again and she finally said quickly that “oh ya, you and you’re husband are welcome to stop by. It’s a potluck though.” I guess I finally got my invite but I don’t know if I should go and this is where I need help.
Yes I’m invited, but ppl have been invited for over a month, and I get an invite one day before the party. It’s s pot luck so if I did go if have to rush out and buy something to make. I feel like I shouldnt go because I’m obviously not really wanted there. If I was, my bff or his gf would’ve invited me sooner. Plus my husband planned a day out of town for us because the party is on a holiday Monday and we never have days off together.
On the other hand, he’s my best friend and I am very excited for him. If I was originally invited I would’ve been so so happy to be there. Now I just feel like I got a pity invite.
So should I go to this gender reveal party or should I decline? If I decline, what should my reasoning be if they ask?
any advice is much appreciated, thanks!!