(Closed) Feelings Hurt Need to Vent (Bridal Shower Blues)

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Was your bridal party yesterday (Sunday, March 31)? Because if it was, I think a lot of people didn’t show up because it was Easter Sunday. And that’s kind of a bad day to have a party to celebrate anything except maybe Jesus.

I’m sorry you’re hurt. I would be too. Especially if you go out of your way for everyone else.

Honestly, I feel it shows who your real friends are. If people don’t make you a priority, then you need to get your priorities straight too maybe.

Sorry you’re bummed, kiddo. ๐Ÿ™

Post # 5
Member
342 posts
Helper bee

Easter weekend is a really bad time to plan something like this. Most people are either out of town, or have family in town.

Sorry.

Post # 6
Member
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Gahh I would be super hurt.  But don’t post it on FB… it just starts drama and makes you look like the ‘bad’ one

Post # 7
Hostess
8580 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’m sorry, this really sucks!

It sucks not having people show up to your shower.. I have a fear that this will happen to me. I actually dont WANT a shower because I’m not really close to any of my family, and don’t have many friends [not for lack of trying, I guess I just pick awful friends – drug addicts, thieves, what have you]. I feel like it’s a waste of time. But my mother is insisting on throwing one.

As for the bridesmaid.. are you close to her? Hang out often? Perhaps you should initiate a girls day out, during so you can include her in everything and keep her on the same page. Or, if there’s something specific you need help with, discuss it then.

I think that weddings do either bring people together, or tear them apart. They bring out the best and worst in many people.

Post # 8
Member
9612 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

I am sorry so few people showed up, but being Easter weekend they probably had other plans.

Post # 9
Member
623 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Regardless of Easter plans, people should have RSVP’ed.

Hope you feel better soon. 

Post # 10
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I had the same thing happen to me – not a single one of my friends came to my shower, though I was lucky to have 7 of my family members and mum’s friends there so at least it wasn’t a total disaster! I felt devastated at the time, and like no one cared about me at all. I’m starting to feel like maybe younger people can be a bit anti-shower?

In any case, at my actual wedding everyone was wonderful and were all thrilled to be there, so the sadness before the shower is long gone. I have heard of this happening to quite a lot of people, so I think it’s just a shower thing and nothing to do with you. Try not to feel too sad, and just focus on the wedding from now on ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 11
Member
502 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

That is sad. There are a lot of selfish and rude people about, I have met a few! I think it might be time to reassess your relationships with some of these people. It sounds like you are often there for these people, only for them to let you down. Hang on to those people in your life who will always come through for you, and don’t waste time on the others. I would rather have one true friend, then a bunch of acquaintances who don’t consider your feelings.

If Easter plans did get in their way, they should have at least RSVP’d. 

Post # 12
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Aw, I’m so sorry they behaved like that. I would be hurt and p*ssed off too; at the very least they could have bothered to RSVP.

I’ve now learned that my group of friends is flakey at best so I have stopped expecting them to treat my gatherings with much interest but I know how much it hurts  when you thought people actually gave a damn.

I agree that nothing good will come off posting on Facebook, but I don’t think it would be out of line to have a private chat with the bridesmaid where you explain why her actions hurt you. Same goes for any really close friends who didn’t show up/RSVP.

Post # 13
Member
1459 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

I don’t really have any advice or suggestions but I am so so sorry that so many people let you down like that. Something I learned was that people will never be as considerate of you as you are to them.

 

Hope you feel better soon x

Post # 14
Member
430 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013
Post # 15
Member
738 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

So nothing good might come out of posting it on Facebook – except getting it off your chest. If that happened to me I post that sh*t ll over the place, but I’m spiteful like that.  At the absolute very least I think you need to talk to you friends so you aren’t holding a grudge. And why did you ask the best mans teenage daughter to be a BM? Are you particularly close or was it ‘just because’. Teenagers are usually a handful. But I wouldn’upset too upset with her for leaving, she’s just a kid and doesn’t know about etiquette and the rest of the wedding bs just yet. 

Post # 16
Member
4496 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

That sucks ๐Ÿ™ I would think it must have something to do with it being Easter weekend, but that doesn’t excuse not RSVPing. Also, Easter or not, if you went through all of that inconvenience to get your friend a gift for her party after having surgery I would think she would at least acknowledge your’s – even if just with an RSVP saying she couldn’t make it.

I wouldn’t post on Facebook though just because I think that is a little passive aggressive, but I would directly talk (even if through a PM on FB) to a few of your friends just to find out what happened and why they didn’t RSVP. I have a feeling a lot of people won’t be coming to mine because its on Memorial Day weekend, but I would expect them to at least RSVP!

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