- 3 years ago
Not really sure what the purpose of this post is or what I hope it will achieve. I guess I just need a vent or outlet or just simply need to hear I am not stupid for feeling like this.
Little back story. Over 4years together. I am 26 next week (I am 100% there won’t be a birthday proposal) and my SO is 30. Live together and were house mates in a house share to begin with. Both in secure jobs, albeit both have debt.
A few months ago me and SO had a big heart to heart and where we were and where we going. He said I shouldn’t expect a proposal this year and maybe next year. His reasons being mainly financial (despite me expressing that i do not want a expensive ring or big wedding). He says that he does love me but a wedding just isn’t finacially viable right now and getting out of debt is important.
I accept this and push these feelings away. I was even happy where we were and was enjoying being in a relationship. I was fine knowing it wasn’t going to happen just yet because i knew it would.
But recently those horrible yearning feelings have been returning and finding myself feeling desperate again. I am finding it hard. Which means i am being really grumpy. Which doesn’t help as who would want to propose to a miserable grumpy person. I am jealous of anyone engaged or married. Just looking at someone wearing a ring gets me or when someone even.if referred to as husband and i just can’t shake it.
I aam now creating doubts that he wants to at all….
I am so ready for babies and marriage. It doesn’t help i have a genetic condition so would make pregnancy a longer process….
I don’t see the point in saying anything as he knows i am ready and after our discussion i know where he is….
I just want this weight lifted… Like i said who wants to propose to a grumpy person.
Any advice on how to get out this rut?
Thanks for listening bees x
- This topic was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by LilMonkey.