Post # 1
This is probably a strange topic. Is anyone finding that being engaged isn’t as exciting as you thought it would be? After the initial rush of oh my goodness we are engaged and then after we have gotten well into the wedding planning, it’s starting to feel so much more real. I guess in my mind I thought being engaged was all wonderful, but its stressful! Wedding planning, in-law drama, etc wears on me.
FI and I have been engaged for 4 months now and we have about 7 months to go. I love him very much and know that I want to marry him, but as we get closer to the wedding, I’m starting to get nervous. Not about marrying him, but about marriage, period. I know that I am ready (I’m 28 and he is 30 – we’ve also been living together for well over a year) and that this is a step I want to take, but every now and again I start feeling nervous about the whole rest of your life thing.
Is this normal? My two cousins who are married said that they both had moments like this and that it passes after the wedding day. I know I’m not making a mistake, but sometimes I just start thinking about what a big step it is.
Post # 3
Yes! I think it’s totally normal. FH and I have prepared ourselves SO much for this step, but every now and then I’ll get to thinking….oh my goodness. My life will never be the same after January 30th! It’s kind of a big deal. lol. But yeah, I totally feel ya.
Post # 4
i’ve also been engaged about 4 months and i completely (gosh especially THIS week!!) know how you’re feeling! i don’t even want to open my wedding planning book! or work on my invite list! everything seems to be stressing me out concerning the wedding, i feel like once the holidays are over and we’re down to 5 months the excitement will pick up :o)
Post # 6
I’ve had those feeling too. Mine was when we closed on his house and moved him in. It was like oh wow this is finally really happening! The most exciting thing thus far was getting the sample of our invitations in the mail. To see my vision come to life (had a graphics artist design them) and to see our names and date on paper was so much fun! I can’t wait to mail them! 🙂
Post # 7
I have cold feet about the idea of marriage even though I know I want to be with FI forever. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone getting married without feeling like this!
Post # 8
Definitely normal. Marriage is a huge commitment and a big life change. If you went into it with starry eyes and not a moment’s hesitation, you probably aren’t taking it seriously enough!
Post # 9
Ok phew! I’m glad I’m not alone in this. It’s so fun to imagine when you get proposed to and start planning the wedding, but it all becomes so real when your plans are firm. Feeling the way I do now, I am so glad that I waited until I was in my late 20s to get married. I don’t feel like I missed out on anything after college, but I still get these twinges of anxiety!
I’ve heard that the most special moment of any wedding (and rightfully so) is when you exchange your vows and after that all of these feelins subside. I’m looking forward to that!
Post # 10
I am very much looking forward to getting married. We’ve been engaged for 7 months (wow!) and have been together for almost 5 years, lived together for 4.
I am an event planner, so nothing feels “new” to me. I did so much research before we even got engaged for other brides, that there was no “where do I start” feeling. I’m overwhelmed at all the details though, and how fast everything adds up.
I wanted a destination wedding, but FI is very family oriented, and his grandparents couldn’t travel. Part of my apprehensive feelings come from such a large wedding – I get nervous thinking about saying vows in front of 350 people, about 150 I don’t even know!
Post # 11
It is completely normal! No one really talks about how stressful planning a wedding can be (except here!) or having to combine two seperate lives into one. Just try to keep doing things with your FI other than wedding planning so that you can keep up your relationship without feeling like everything is about the wedding.
Post # 12
Yes this is very normal. I was very worried about the financial stuff specifically, because my husband is planning to go back to school and I had just finished paying of $50K in student loans.
The day before the wedding, and the morning of, we were both basketcases. We knew it didn’t mean that we loved each other any less, but um this is a HUGE life change – I get nervous before starting a new job, how could I not get nervous about this?!
After you get married, it won’t be an issue anymore (or at least it hasnt’ been for me.)
Post # 13
Imagine being an encore bride or groom. It’s even a bit more pronounced sometimes but we know how strong our love and committment is to each other and we get past that.
Post # 14
Shhhh I am definitely feeling it and I’m not even engaged yet!! I wonder if it’s because these are fairly difficult right now financially (temporary) or if it’s because i’ve been single for over 29 years and I quite enjoy it… sometimes i wonder do i REALLY need to be married lol!! then i look at M and melt and it’s like OF COURSE I DO! and then i waiver again.. sigh… it’s a very scary thing and i have been the one to bring up marriage since the initial conversation where he brought it up so now it’s almost like i’m back tracking or something like that… i mean forever is a long time, but i cannot imagine tomorrow without him, and the day after that. when i think of it tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow it becomes a lot more settling than FOREVER..
Post # 15
Very normal, in fact I had a brief flash of it myself last night and felt sick in the stomach. It passed after a cuddle and a good nights sleep 🙂 If you’re interested in thinking more about it I’d recommend The Conscious Bride, it does a pretty good job of explaining why being engaged isn’t always as fun and carefree as we’d like!
Post # 16
Oh yeah! We both have it. I was feeling it pretty strongly and brought it up with him. So glad I did! Somehow knowing that he felt the same way made me feel so much better.