Post # 1
So, I’ve been dating rich for about 7 months. We started dating after knowing each other for almost a year. He was definitely the ‘agressor’ and was much more into me than I was into him in the beginning. After about 4 months, the dynamics began to change. I found myself having strong feelings while he seemed to be growing more distant. I started to feel ignored and angry, leading to fights and lots of arguements.
Things got pretty off track for 4-6 weeks. They have been much better, but there is some lingering stuff we are working through. We went to counseling for the first time last week – he said he liked the therapist and thought this would be good for us. I felt very reassured and much better about things.
This morning, however, out of the blue he sent me a text that read ‘babe i just need to focus on work. i feel so distracted and confused.’
like i said, it was out of the blue. we weren’t in the middle of a conversation so I have no context. i responded with ‘i’m sorry if i’ve brought stress to your life lately. i only want to bring happiness. have a good rest of the day! xo’
i haven’t heard back. thoughts? is he trying to end it? if he does ask for a break, how do i respond?
(we live 3 hours away from each other)
Post # 3
Um, sounds like if there are issues 7 months in and you live so far he may be trying to cut you loose. How often do you two see each other?
Post # 4
@mrs_pudding_pop: typically, every weekend. in the beginning, he would spend more time in my town and it wasn’t unusual to spend 3-4 days together seperated by a few days and then another 3-4 days together.
we’ve consistently seen each other every weekend, but its more like 1-2 nights. maybe 3.
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
If you already have to resort to counseling so early in your relationship that is not a good sign, but since he is the one who initiated it I’m at a loss. I guess, in my opinion, a relationship shouldn’t be that much work so early in, and maybe he is realizing that?
Post # 6
Seems like an awful lot of work so far only 7 months in :
Post # 7
@SprinklesPink: I’m with PPs that counseling 7 months in seems like a lot of work. While noble and great that you value your relationship, I think his comment is a way of saying that this feels like too much right now.
I would call him and talk to him about it because it would be better for this to end now than later when you both have much more invested into the relationship.
Post # 8
@mrs_pudding_pop: +1. Counseling after 7 months? That shouldn’t happen. It’s the honeymoon phase! Long distance couples usually have an extended honeymoon phase due to seeing each other less than is “typical.” I wouldn’t want a relationship that caused me stress from the very beginning either.
Post # 9
I wouldn’t go to counselling with someone I’d only been dating 7 months, thats a lot of effort to put into something that’s already not working.
Post # 10
If you’re going to counseling when you’re only dating, then it’s probably time to end the relationship.
Post # 11
@SprinklesPink: yes, he is trying to end it. I am sorry and I know this must be painful – but I agree with the other bees, seems like things were not working out regardless. 7 months is still the honeymoon phase and everything should be easy and fun and lovey dovey.
Post # 12
@SprinklesPink: I think he’s trying to break up with you.
Post # 13
@Rhopalocera: Yeah, especially under a year. I remember still being in the ‘honeymoon’ phase at that point, I know everyone has their issues.. but there shouldn’t be issues so big that you need counselling that soon.
Post # 14
Yes, he’s trying to end it & doesn’t have the decency or nerve to tell you in person.
I wouldn’t respond at all. There is no way to do that without sounding desperate & needy.