Fell in love with an older man.. Is this relationship possible?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Choops6:  My dad is around 7 years older than my mum so I don’t see 7 years as a huuuuge age gap necessarily but I do agree it can be tough when you feel at a different stage in life than your partner. I’d just see how things go though.

Post # 3
Member
4147 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I had just turned 20 when I met my DH, and I’ll be 28 in a month so I don’t think you’re too young to fall in love at all.  I honestly don’t think that a 7 year gap is that big, however if you’re both in different stages in life, you will just have to work harder at keeping your relationship strong.  IMO, if you’re meant to be together, you will both do everything possible to make that dream come true.

Post # 4
Member
980 posts
Busy bee

My SO and I are 9 years apart. I’m 21 and we have been dating since I was 19 so kind of similar. We had known each other for a long time before then but did not do anything about it for various reasons, including our ages. Honestly, the first 8ish months of our relationship was kind of in secret because we were worried about the potential backlash and that was such a stressful time for me. Once I had told a few of my friends and family I found that we were really able to enjoy our time together much more. Everyone who I was so worried about telling were so supportive too and I felt so silly that I was so worried!

I think you need to be open about the relationship. If it doesn’t work out, it’s no different to having dated someone your age. And if it does work out, then great! But hiding away and keeping such a secret is going to make people think that there’s something else you’re hiding about the relationship and they’re bound to worry about you.

Post # 5
Member
332 posts
Helper bee

Choops6:  Every guy I dated at your age was appx. as old as your SO. I think you are young, but there’s no reason why you shouldn’t roll with it if it feels right at this moment. 

Things may or may not pan out, but you won’t know if you don’t try. I sincerely don’t think that 7 years is a massive age gap now that you are both consensual adults. 

Post # 6
Member
624 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Seven years may seem like a big gap now because of your current ages, but it isn’t a big difference and it likely won’t even be significant in the future.

That said, stay true to your values, and if there’s a little voice inside you telling you to be cautious, listen to it. You can have both, a good relationship with an older man who loves and respects you and a good relationship with your parents and family, without the need to sneak around.

Post # 7
Member
544 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’m 19, and my boyfriend is 24. We are at different life stages but it’s never been an issue. I think you’re a bit scared is all. 🙂 Don’t worry about it if you love him and he loves you. 🙂

Post # 8
Member
9529 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t think that a seven year gap is insurmountable. I do think that it’s concerning that you’re keeping your relationship a secret. I think that, if it’s a good relationship, you shouldn’t have to keep it secret. For me, secrecy is a red flag for most things.

Post # 9
Member
600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - Historic cinema

Haha! I was expecting a HUGE gap! 7 years is nothing! My man and I are 19 years apart and we have zero issues at ages 29 and 48 🙂

Post # 10
Member
811 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

No big deal if you ask me

Post # 11
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN

Choops6:  I see nothing wrong with the age difference at this point. My dad is 6 years older than my mom. I have seen larger age gaps. I am sure it will be fine.

Post # 12
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN

MissBettsy:  I wasnt thinking about the age gap so much as their ages themselves. I was expecting her to say she was in her 20’s and he was like 60 or something.

Post # 13
Member
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I’m 19, my FI is 30. We’re both women, and we’re from different continents. If we can make it work, anyone can! My family have all been supportive, yes I had many warnings before I moved out here (from UK to Central America) to be with her, but I know it was all coming from a good place. The only problem who had an issue with it was my “mother”, she has since been cut out of my life for various reasons, I now consider her a surrogate to be perfectly honest. Anyway, it will be fine. And if anyone doesn’t accept the person who you love, they’re not worth your time or energy in the first place. Good luck to you, and please pm me if you wish to talk more about everything 🙂

Post # 14
Member
215 posts
Helper bee

MissBettsy:  15.5 years here 🙂 

OP, I think you’ll find the biggest barrier to the success of your relationship is likely to be the different lifestages you and your partner are in, rather than the age gap itself. Having said that, as long as you’re both mindful that you ARE in different stages, and continue to support each other, there’s no real reason why it shouldn’t work. Having said that, make sure you take some time to get to know yourself as you make the transition into study / working life. 

Post # 15
Member
1072 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I personally don’t think 7 years is that big a gap at your age. However do keep in mind that you are likely going to change and mature a lot over the next 5-6 years as you move through college and into a career, while he will likely stay in a similar sort of place. So just remember that there is no hurry for you to fall into a marriage or engagement until you are settled and know exactly what you want out of life (whether that is him or something/someone else). People who marry before the age of 25 are statistically more likely to divorce, so being patient and waiting until you are 100% emotionally and financially ready to take that next step will probably pay off in the long run.

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors