Post # 1
‘Cause it feels the exact same to me. We’ve only been married for 5 days and I can honestly say that it doesn’t feel a shred different. Prior to getting married, we had been dating for almost 7 years and had lived together for nearly 6.5. For the last 3 or so years we were “basically” married without it being legal. We had joint finances, made all of our decisions as a team, the whole shebang. The only difference between us and our friends that were married was that piece of paper. Now that we’ve tied the knot, I’m waiting for something to change or feel different but it just doesn’t. Not that this is a bad thing, I don’t really care either way but I guess I was expecting a little something new. My friends say that they all felt different but none of them were in the same situation as we were. Some didn’t even live together prior to getting married so of course it feels different for them. To be completely honest, there have been a few times over the last few days that I’ve forgotten that I’m even married because absolutely nothing has changed.
Like I said, I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing nor am I really disappointed that it doesn’t feel any different but I just kind of expected something to change. On a positive note, DH has been really sweet lately so that’s cool! J
Anyone in the same boat? If you dated and lived together for a long time prior to marriage, did it feel any different after it was legal?
Post # 3
Nope, it’s pretty much the same. But that’s cool with me, because it was awesome before and I was hoping nothing would change.
Post # 4
Not really no! We had been together for just over 6.5 years on our wedding day!
I do think there is an extra layer of security that comes along with marriage that we both feel. But it’s not a noticeable difference just a feeling we get every now and then!
Congrats on your marriage CaitMarae
Post # 5
Nope, not at all. I think once I started changing my name, it hit me more. Something my aunt told me: if you were always honest and true in your relationship, marriage doesn’t change anything. if you have been together for years, and marriage changes something, then you probably have issues that need to be resolved.
Not exactly what she said, but you get the point
Post # 6
I hope nothing changes after the big day – I love how we are now.
Post # 7
Nope not really. Our situtaion was pretty much like yours. I do love to see his ring on his finger though 🙂 I wasnt expecting it to feel or be any different though
@MrsSl82be: I like that. Makes sense to me 🙂
Post # 8
Same here–we moved in together earlier this year and that was probably the biggest change, but as we had been together so long it was an easy transition. The weirdest thing for me after the wedding (it’s only been 2 weeks) is the name change, but I love it! And it’s not as difficult as I thought it would be.
Everything feels the same, maybe even more lovier, if that’s possible. As much as I was ready 2 years ago, having waited this long was like an extra security blanket. I’m actually happy that nothing feels different because if the rest of our relationship (aka Life) is like this and doesn’t change then we will have a really happy life 🙂
@pinkb: I agree–I love seeing a ring on his finger! It’s different, because he never wore any jewelry before, but I know it’s there for me and it always makes me smile 🙂
Post # 9
@MrsSl82be: I like that. Makes perfect sense!
@FMM: I agree with the extra layer of security. Not that either of us would or have ever thought about doing so but marriage does make it a heck of a lot harder to just call it quits. And thanks!!
@pinkb: I like seeing the ring, too. It’s hard not to pay attention to it since he’s CONSTANTLY playing with it and complaining about how much it “hurts”, lol. Men can be such babies sometimes, lol.
@yellowlace: I was ready years ago too but DH has always had a plan for when he wanted to get married (25-26 and we’re both 25). Back then I HATED waiting and just wanted to get on it with it already but looking back, I’m happy we waited as long as we did. We’re in such a better place in our lives now. There were a lot of “it’s about time’s” at our wedding, though. 🙂
Post # 10
We lived together before we got married too. And nothing really changed after the wedding. Except now he’s my husband. I love that word:) Oh, I think it’s really sweet that wears his ring all the time.
Post # 11
@MrsSl82be: What your aunt told you is a really cool idea :). DH and I didn’t live together before, but I’ve noticed that our relationship isn’t even that different, I just don’t go home at night. We’re learning to be a little more collaborative due to living together, but everything is fundamentally similar.
Post # 12
I actually didn’t feel that different and my dh and I never lived together before marriage. We were together for so long and the only difference I could see was that I was wearing another ring. Even though we didn’t live together we still made most decisions after consulting each other.
Post # 13
We hadn’t dated nearly as long as you guys (about 2 years when we got engaged, together 3 years when we got married), but I had the same feeling when we got back from our honeymoon-everything felt the same! Even the morning after the wedding…I still felt amped up from the night before, but our relationship felt the same. To me, the changes have been very gradual, and it’s not really anything specific that I can put my finger on. More just a sense of being settled down with each other, and more like a team. But then again, that might have happened over time, irregardless of whether we got married. Congrats, btw, on the wedding–can’t wait to see pics!
Post # 14
@UpstateCait: Oh, I got SO many “It’s about time”s, both verbal and in our wedding book, etc. Either way we are happy knowing that we’re in it for the long haul, not just because of lust or anything. (Not that ppl can’t have a successful marriage after dating for a short period of time!)
I feel like it was a bigger change going from dating to engaged in a way because that was when the commitment for life really happened. The marriage was a way for us to show this in front of everyone but at the engagement I knew my life was really changing 🙂
Post # 15
I felt a stronger bond. I felt giddy for the first week, and then back to reality.
Post # 16
I am in the same situation, I am not married yet but when we do get married we will have been together for 7 years and living together for 4 years. I don’t expect anything to be any different except that we can move forward into the next stage of our life (starting a family and whatnot). I am looking forward to it.