(Closed) female male communication – general vent

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

That is some really philosophical venting. 😉

I think a lot of this “difference between men and women” stuff comes down to massive generalization that in practice is often way off-mark.  Personally, I find that whenever I read these descriptions, I fall in pretty closely with the way guys’ brains are supposed to process things – I am really good with following a chain of logic and REALLY bad with dealing with relationships, emotions, etc.

I don’t think you need to learn the way “men think” and the way “women think.”  When it comes down to individual people, we’re all unique.  You don’t need to form a relationship with the median man or the median woman, just with your partner.  Learn their habits – what they’re saying and what they’re loath to say.  With each individual it’s probably part biology, part socialization but the sum total is an individual, not a gender norm.

I’m like you – I have no desire to have children so there’s no drive in that way to be with a guy.  If you have physical desires (some people don’t, and that’s ok too) and are attracted to men not women, then that’s a reason to be with a man.  Mostly, though, it’s meeting someone in particular.  I have absolutely no desire to be with “generic, median man” even though I’m pretty good at figuring out “guy-think.”  I could be happy alone; I could be happy with another woman… there’s no need to be with a man fo the sake of it.  I have a desire to be with one man in particular, and we’ve figured out how to interract.  He’s learned to deal with my inability to pick up subtle cues and I’ve learned to deal with his being subtle.  He’s learned that I need to talk out all conflict and I’ve learned that sometimes he just doesn’t want to talk.  Not because mens brains work one way and womens another, but because we care about each other and know each other very well.

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