Post # 1
After waiting months to find out who our assigned pastor is, my FI and I just found out we have a female pastor assigned to our wedding. I am having conflicting thoughts about this because I am not sure my family will approve but how can I deny a female pastor when I strongly believe in woman’s rights? Is a female pastor biblically correct?
My family and I are LCMS Lutherans and my FI is a Catholic – he is planning to convert to Lutheranism. The church we are getting married at is ELCA Lutheran. Perhaps it is my fault for not asking for a male pastor to begin with. Would it be wrong to request another pastor??
Post # 2
If your church allows female pastors, then I would use who is assigned to you. Different churches hve different beliefs regarding whether or not a woman can pastor a church.
Post # 3
MusicLove716: May I ask exactly what your problem is with a female pastor? Why wouldn’t your family approve of the female pastor?
Post # 4
If your church accepts female pastors, I don’t see why this is an issue. Why would your family not approve of a pastor that is sanctioned by the church? Did she not attend the same training and does she not have the same conviction as a male pastor?
I think it would be wrong to request a new pastor on these grounds, but that’s just me – I wish my own church would open up to equal rights for women. But if you aren’t going to be comfortable with her celebrating your marriage, I suppose you could request a new person, but be aware, you may get some raised eyebrows for it.
Post # 5
I seem to be misunderstanding. What exactly is the problem with a female pastor? How are they inferior to a male pastor? I have not been active in religion for a very, very, very long time but from my perspective, as long as they are educated in their religion, why does it matter if the pastor is male or female?
I think it would not look good on both of you if you were to request a male pastor specificially. I know I would think the bride and groom were acting immaturely/strangely if I found out my friends requested a specific gender of pastor that is opposite of what they were assigned. But I am in the club that women can do (almost everything) as well as men. Even being a religious figure.<br /><br />But, that’s just my two cents.
Post # 6
I am also LCMS and would request a male pastor. While it’s acceptable for ELCA churches, it’s not for LCMS and I and both our families would have a big problem with having a female pastor. If you’re okay with it then no big deal, but if you’re wanting to stay with the LCMS views you’d need a new pastor, but it’d still be an ELCA pastor. Could your pastor do it in the church you want?
Post # 7
- Wedding: June 2014 - The Defoor Centre
CanadianBride456: I was about to ask the same question; what is the problem with a female pastor/officiant. I have a female officiant (Reverend Nora) and I am very pleased to have her apart of my wedding. I was looking for someone who had a bubbly spirit. I didnt want someone who just read from a book and its over.
Post # 8
MusicLove716: You ask if a female pastor is biblically correct. All I can think to say is that there seem to be as many interpretations of what is “biblically correct” as there are religions which recognize the bible. And, those interpretations may change as society changes.
Can you go with what feels right to you? Since your church assigned a female pastor, does that “make” it correct in your eyes?
Post # 9
A female pastor is very Biblical! The Bible supports justice and equality for all.
Post # 10
How will your FI’s family feel about a female pastor? I know that my family would not be happy. Regardless of my feelings on the matter, I wouldn’t want to do anything to create wedding drama!
Post # 11
As the OP stated she is an LCMS Lutheran. The wedding is an an ELCA Lutheran church. The two Lutheran churches are not at all similar in their interpretation of the BIble.
LCMS does not allow female pastors, they think homosexuality is a sin, will not allow practicing homosexuals as priests etc. ELCA Lutheran priesrts are taught to be more questioning of the interpretations of the Bible.
It is beyond me why in 2014 any woman would belong to a church with such discriminatory practices, based entirely on interpretations of the Bible, a book of stories passed down verbally for centuries and thus liable to error.
Post # 12
I totally feel your pain here, and I am sure the church would be understanding. Ask them for a male pastor, if possible, as you are trying to make your family feel comfortable there.
Post # 13
julies1949: Thanks for the explanation. I didn’t know there was such variety in the Luteran church. Interesting. OP, just wondering why you are getting married in the more liberal church, if you belong to the more conservative branch?
Post # 14
If your FI is converting to Lutherianism, and your family are Lutherians, I don’t see the problem. The church accepts female pastors, so why shouldn’t your family?
If you try to refuse this pastor then it will look really odd, to be quite frank. I also suspect that it may actually be you who has the problem, because you say “Is a female pastor biblically correct?” and suggest you should have asked for a man to begin with.
In a biblical sense, women were highly represented in early Christianity. However, Paul was not keen on the practise of women preachers because he was aiming to make Christianity a more mainstream and widely respected religion. One way of doing this was to ensure that its spokespeople were more respectable in the eyes of the Romans. The Romans did not approve of female orators in general, so the practise was suppressed to make Christianity more appealing to the Roman upper classes. At least, this is a huge part of the reason. However, even Paul relied on the efforts of some women in spreading the religion… he could not do without them (for example, Lydia).
The issue of female preachers is highly debated. I would argue that, seeing as we are no longer in an age where we are trying to impress the Romans, it is probably a moot point. But then… I am not a Biblical literalist… which is to say that whilst I believe that the Bible contains divine truths, they have been filtered through imperfect humans who have been influenced by the social and cultural conditions of their time. The message is perfect but the messenger is flawed… and so was the society they lived in. What was good for early Christianity might not be so great in 2014.
Anyway, if your church says this is OK, I wouldn’t ask for a new pastor. I mean… would you ask for a white pastor? A black pastor? An unmarried pastor? You see where I’m going with this…
Post # 15
julies1949: Ah, thanks for this. I don’t understand about how a lot of the churches work in the US, so this does make more sense now.
What doesn’t make sense is why OP chose that particular church as opposed to her own church to get married in…