Post # 1
My Darling Husband and I are not TTC, and are not likely to start trying for a year or two. I am 30 years old and he is just shy of 28. We are starting to prepare mentally and physically for children, and have had LONG convos about it. I went off the pill right before our wedding after being on it for almost 15 years to try to get more in touch with my bod, regulate ovulation, etc etc.
Women on both sides of my family have had pregnancy issues. No one has had “fertility” issues per say, but rather many miscarriages, birth defects, things of that nature. As such Darling Husband and I have agreed to not use medical intervention to become pregnant- I do not want to try anything beyond tracking to TTC (if my cycle doesn’t come back to normal, may check with doc to use something to prompt that but not while TTC.)
As we’ve been talking about this more, I’ve realized that Darling Husband has two conditions that have been linked to male fertility issues. I won’t go into too much detail, but they were both from childhood and may effect hormones. He doesn’t seem to have any hormonal inbalances now (he’s in great health,) but I doubt he’s had any hormonal testing done since childhood.
So here’s my query- in this sitch, would you want fertility testing pre-TTC? I’ve talked to Darling Husband about it and he’s open to it (wasn’t sensitive or insulted by it,) but it still is a touchy subject. I’m really on the fence- on the one hand, I don’t want to “curse” us before we even start, but on the other I dont want to TTC for a year and then find out that it was not really viable from the beginning. I would also be willing to undergo similar testing (but not sure if its necessary in my case.) To add to this, Darling Husband is REALLY adament about having biological children, while I am less so- I am very open to adoption. If we found out that he has fertility issues, it might crush him…or it might mean that we can do something to better our chances?
I guess I’m just looking for opinions/stories of similar things. I’m blessed that he is really open and very rational about these kinds of things, but I know he really wants kids and I want to make sure we’re planning correctly!
Post # 3
I don’t think too many doctors will agree to do general testing until you have tried for a year (or 6 months if you are over 35). I guess you could ask for a specific test to address a particular concern.
Post # 4
@ElbieKay: thanks for the insight!
Post # 5
@bkrocks13: you’ll have to consider if this is something you are willing to pay for out of pocket. It’s unlikely your health insurance will pay for testing without a medical justification. Depending upon what kind of testing you are talking about it can get expensive. however, I would definitely recommend genetic testing at some point, especially if some of the issues in your family history are genetic diseases.
Post # 6
I wouldn’t do any sort of testing until you’ve tried for at least 6 months. The Dr.’s would probably recommend the same.
Post # 7
@WestCoastV: Insurance may cover it because of the conditions he has/had (I imagine they would at least cover hormonal testing.) One of the conditions was not detected until he was MUCH older than he should have been (due to medical negligence) and that history may buy us some leeway with a doctor, but I agree with what you’re saying. I wonder how much this kind of stuff costs out of pocket.
Post # 8
I think you should talk with your doctors more about it, but I don’t know that they would even do any testing beforehand. If they do, it would most certainly be something you would pay for out of pocket. Even if there are hormonal imbalances, etc that may make TTC more difficult, no doctor is going to be able to tell you whether or not it will take you 1 month or 1 year to get pregnant, so I don’t know that the information you might receive would be helpful in making an educated decision about whether or not you should try at all.
Post # 9
@bkrocks13: I think it would make sense to do some testing on him prior to TTC since he has issues that could affect fertility. Contrary to popular belief fertility or lack thereof is not really based upon if a Mom or sister had problems getting pregnant. I see that said here all the time and it sucks that people think because their Mom had MC they will too when the majority of the time that is not the case. I would not have testing done on you since you have no known issues and realistically no Dr. would without a) a known issue or b) TTC 6+ months.
Post # 10
@MrsWBS: i guess my thought is that if he has virtually no viable swimmers we would start mentally planning for adoption a bit earlier in case that ends up being our reality?
I do TOTALLY get that no one can predict whether we will be successful or not- I guess I’d just like to go into it with eyes open about possible issues instead of finding out about them after the fact. I’m sure I’m probably making a big deal over nothing…
Post # 11
No, I wouldn’t. I would suggest charting when you start TTC so if there are problems you can go into your doctor with a chart of how things look for you.
Post # 12
@bkrocks13: If I were you, I would go to the doctor and get my Darling Husband to go to the doctor before TTC. Not neccessarily for infertility testing, but just for your overall health and how it might relate to the TTC process. Depending on the reason for the issues your relatives had, seeing a genetic counsellor might be something your doctor recommends as just one example.
Post # 13
I do think it’s smart for you both to have check-ups with your physicians and talk about your health histories and tell them you are hoping to have a child in the near future. I think that if they find any aspect of your health histories concerning, they may be more willing to pursue some testing before the frequently-referenced 1 year mark. By getting a check-up, your taking the first step towards covering your bases!
Post # 14
Instead of fertility tests, you can get a genetics test. I know a few couples who did and the geneticists were able to tell them statistics regarding their future children and how likely they can pass on certain genes
Post # 15
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
I agree with a PP that, since this is on your mind, it would probably be a good idea for both of you to go in for a regular check-up. Then your Darling Husband cpuld ask his doctor about his specific concerns and see how that turns out.
I am going to differ from PPs in that I am glad we knew ahead of time about our fertility (or lack therof). Knowing upfront that we require medical intervention means that at least we didn’t torture ourselves for a year trying to do something that never can happen on its own. That said, finding out the news still sucked a lot, and sucks even more now that we are struggling to figure out what path we want to take. But at least we know what we are up against.
Post # 16
To everyone speaking about genetics testing- I didn’t really consider this until now, but this might be a good idea. The birth defects my aunts experienced were all linked to heredity (although not specific genetic markers- multiple cleft palates, for example,) but I believe the issues my husband experienced may have genetic markers.
Thank god neither of us have family histories of anything severe at birth, but it might be worth checking out. This thread is turning out to be so helpful for me! I’m a total TTC newb but am thankful that we have amazing insurance and that Darling Husband is so on-board to get everything “ready” for our future family.