FFIL and his family – becoming a seating chart headache!

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think you should sit the sisters with their mother (FMIL), because that would be more comfortable for both the sisters and for FFIL. Then find other people to sit at FFIL’s table, even if they are strangers to him.

I have divorced parents and we had 3 main family tables (one for groom’s family, one for our mother and her family/friends, and one for our father and his family/friends) at my sister’s wedding.

As for FI and his family: yep, he’ll have to go to two different places (or have the parents visit hiom at different times). Sometimes that’s the reality with divorced parents.

Post # 4
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

moedude:  Oops, sorry!

OK then, I think I’d still find a way to split them up. Is there any other table FI’s aunts can be sat at, even a further one? It just seems better to sit people with strangers than with enemies. I also feel it’s not FI’s business to force them to sort out their differences.

I guess FMIL’s table is an option, but only if FMIL and her husband are ok with it. Another possibility might be to sit FFIL at your family table?

As for who to see on the morning of the wedding: I feel like father trumps aunts, so maybe the aunts just don’t get to see FI until the wedding.

Post # 6
Member
2225 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1987

If I were you I’d leave the table arrangement as it is.  They are adults and need to sort out their quarrel but you cannot force them to talk to each other.  They know about the seating arrangements and haven’t objected.  Just don’t get involved but be nice to everyone. 

Your FI has done his best to get his father to talk to his (the FFIL’s) two sisters and so he should now stop trying so hard.  Instead he should simply insist on everyone being civil at the wedding.   This is because the wedding is about you and your FI getting married.  It is not about stopping World War Three between various family members.

On the day itself he needs to ask a groomsman to keep an eye on the table and walk over occasionally for a chat with people.    This will remind everyone that they are at a civilised event and they should behave appropriately.

On the day you should speak to everyone in turn including your new FIL and his sisters.  Just be pleasant and happy and then move on to talk to the people at the next table. 

 

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